Season's Teachings

Val d'Isere Travel Blog

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We started on a simple premise; that you learn one new thing every day. We tried to document these, or at least a decent quote from the day. Invariably we got bored, burnt out and it got shelved. Here's 2 month's worth of lessons learnt the hard way...

30/11/05    Life, the universe and everything in it is either 'Awesome' or 'Rubbish'.
1/12/05    The coccyx is my nemesis and must be punished!
2/12/05    The best way of finding that bit of broken glass on the floor that you missed sweeping up is to release a child.
3/12/05    Snipers lurk everywhere in the mountains, especially on bad vis days, the best - and only - thing you can do is to Stop, Drop and Roll.
4/12/05    Matt cannot pee off a chairlift. the lift ending, the wind blowing the wrong way and people on the lift coming in the opposite direction will always conspire against him.
5/12/05    ‘Awesome' is 33 hours of snowboarding time a week.
6/12/05    ‘Rubbish' is sleeping in to miss half of it.
7/12/05    The social and economic consequences of a Time Crisis 3 machine in your local bar are roughly equivalent to a small crack habit.
8/12/05    Alex cannot exist in the same room as an item of ladies clothing without trying it on.
9/12/05    ‘Cold' is when the hairs in your nostrils freeze up.
10/12/05    It takes 3 hours to earn a pint.
11/12/05    This still doesn't stop you.
12/12/05    The only means of communication faster than gossip is telepathy.
13/12/05    Eating 2 baguettes a day makes your clothes shrink.
14/12/05    There is no such thing as 'a quiet drink'.
15/12/05    Always bring your camera if Bob and Sam are out, as something's bound to happen (from Nic).
16/12/05    Goggle marks are the true sign of 5 months well spent.
17/12/05    Hell hath no fury like 'transfer day arse'.
18/12/05    When all else fails, go snowboarding.
19/12/05    Fancy dress can always be acquired at short notice.
20/12/05    Trusting Sam and Alex is a bad idea.
21/12/05    Fancy a long walk in the off-piste? Place your board bindings up when taking it off in a huff.
22/12/05    Both love and squalor can fit in a shoebox.
23/12/05    ‘Passive Sex' is not an insult but an expression of endearment.
24/12/05    Badger Balm has many uses. Take care to differentiate between this and Tiger Balm.
25/12/05    Vitamins are best consumed within olives.
26/12/05    Ham and cheese baguettes get a bit boring.
27/12/05    The whinier and needier the child, the whinier and needier the adult. The difference is that you can lie to children.
28/12/05    - 20° temperatures will not stop students wearing bedsheets to the pub.
29/12/05    Damon Hill, former F1 champion, buys his pizzas at le Petit Creux, not the inferior Pizza Pizza.
30/12/05    Happiness is inversely proportional to awareness of world events.
31/12/05    To piss yourself and carry on drinking is a sure sign of management material.
1/1/06    There are 4 aspects of human existence; boarding, partying, working and sleeping. Sometimes they overlap.
2/1/06    Haircuts don't matter.
3/1/06    It is possible to reach your 19th year in the western world without ever tasting lasagne, having an email address or knowing what the DSS is.
4/1/06    On the whole, people who work in investment banking provide rhyming slang with it's greatest asset since James Blunt.
5/1/06    Pilots will chat to anybody.
6/1/06    Being severely ill or injured does not exempt you from practical jokes.
7/1/06    A job in childcare will involve, uh, caring, about, you know, children.?
8/1/06    Don't screw the crew.
9/1/06    It is easy to become confused at times. When lighting the fire, take extra care to determine which is 'wood' and which is 'self'. It will save your nipples in the long run.
10/1/06    It’s amazing how much gin you can drink and still function as a restaurant supervisor.   
11/1/06    Tea cures everything. If it hasn’t worked yet, drink more.   
12/1/06    There are some people you will only ever meet when drunk.
13/1/06    Never underestimate the capacity of people to miss the bleeding obvious, especially when on holiday.
14/1/06    The social and economic consequences of living way too close to an awesome kebab shop are roughly equivalent to employing a premiership footballer to do the dishes.   
15/1/06    When a pint of G&T restores you to normality, you know it’s the start of a
    long and beautiful dependancy.
16/1/06    The best lines of white stuff are fresh tracks under a blue sky.
17/1/06    Really, 9-5, 40 hours a week for the rest of your life is SO last century.
18/1/06    Nothing moves slower than the queue to Dick’s T Bar (nightclub), especially when you’re only wearing tights and a tablecloth.
19/1/06    ….and on the 7th day the Lord got up at 4 o’clock in the frigging morning, plastered on a fake smile and did transfer day for 100 guests.
20/1/06    Apple Corp. may have something to say about the revised meaning of ‘party shuffle’.
21/1/06    Lying face down in the snow the morning after drinking a bottle of gin and a long island ice tea restores you to full working capability.
22/1/06    If it’s got nipples, Jim’s all over it.
23/1/06    “I don’t mind being called ‘Sexy Mama’, it’s the groping I object to”
24/1/06    On arriving home to find your wallet is not tucked into your underwear, remember to check your jacket pocket before drunkenly badgering your bank to cancel all your cards �" in fact, wait until morning, it’s amazing how much clearer things look in the cold harsh light of day.
25/1/06    At cafés on the hill, split your skis to avoid swapping them with a stranger �" ESPECIALLY IF THEY’RE NOT YOURS!!!
26/1/06    “I don’t want to kiss you, ‘do lunch’ or have sex with you. I just want to buy drugs off you and possibly get you to service my skis.”
27/1/06    Seeing visiting friends gawp at the beautiful surroundings you play in daily makes you realise how lucky you are, but doesn’t stop you rubbing it in.
28/1/06    7am is a lie-in.
29/1/06     The term ‘Go big or go home’ should not be said to Alex, as invariably he will have lost his wallet and you will have to foot the medical bills.

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Val d'Isere
photo by: skibabe