EW SICK!!THEY JUST WON'T DIE!

eew. eew sick. no really. ew sick.
I'm sitting on the couch today..and I see this thing crawl under the couch.
at first I thought that it was a lizard. so I grabbed the flashlight.
it was "just some beetle." to my knowledge.
fastforward 2 hours.
I'm sitting on the couch with my mother drinking chai tea.
I look up and I see a bug crawling up the wall and I point and say..EEEW MOM!
and right as I do that, she points behind me and goes EEW BETHANY.
I thought that she was mocking me.
NO. not the case.

Cockroaches were crawling up behind each of us.
EEEW SICK!
so then came the fun task of trying to kill something that just doesn't die.
my mother grabbed a rolled up newspaper and started smacking it.
then she gave it to me. and I started whacking the crap out of it in a spastic "girly girl just saw a bug" manner... then she made me grab it with a papertowel and throw it in the trash..
but I was supposed to crush the shell..
which I think I did.. maybe a little bit...
and I spastically threw it in the trash.

then we went after the second one, which by this time had crawled behind the curtains.
I violentally shook the curtains and one flew out right by my foot..
but he looked too small to be the one that was crawling.
we repeated the whole newspaper beating followed by papertowel crunching ritual.
I don't know if they are dead.
or if that was all of them.

and did I mention that I'm sleeping on the couch in that room?
AHHHH.