Lower Half- Cotswold's etc...

England Travel Blog

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I have not wrote about the trip for some time, this lapse is because I find myself continuously on the move. I have had the good fortune to be couch surfing through the south western half of England and that of Ireland.  I am now at the 8 o’clock position in Ireland having started taking the ferry from Hollyhead to Dublin arriving 5:30 in the morning before  St. Patricks Day. I am writing cause I am kinda lost on what to do. Africa anyone? The trip has been wonderful, I am blessed to do this.  After seeing so much beauty in the world, visiting the historical sites and museums now it seems that what makes the trip worthwhile is the natural beauty and people.

I hate to be so brief about England but in truth the time felt brief, contrast to Ireland where 2 weeks have felt like a lifetime.

Funny Irishman said that he thought Irish humor and English was the same. In irony only it is true. British humor is dry, witty and often self effacing to a cutesy affect. Sometimes it seems to go to the lowest common denominator, the tv is insanely stupid. (Not unlike American reality tv).  Americans do yourself  a fringing favor- do something before you become a complete welfare state glued to the boob tube for your own sense of dignity.  Apparently all American reality shows started over here- neither country should be proud of this but… I get a little laugh when English point this out. Almost like admitting to air pooing in public, one should never be so polite.  Thank you.

Irish on the other hand, use their wit slyly  which can be describes as black humor.

God does know I like this! “Luck of the Irish, Irish eyes are smiling, God bless the Irish, Top of the morning to you”- believe on the surface even  said in jest, think irony. The history of Ireland is long like trudging through a cow field.  The hoofs and poo are the divets and mounds you must circumvent to have smooth sailing but it is impossible and soon you make the best of the situation. Ireland is greener than humanly imaginable, hence the association of green with the country. The green are pasture lands cut by innumerable stone walls, roads wind around and through the pastures over the hills and deep into the valleys.  Some of their greatest historical figures, instead of rising to elevation of living the rest of their lives on their plantations realizing their dream that all men are created equal, the Irish leaders all died horrific deaths in the most oppressive sense: Seeing your dreams shot to shit, unfulfilled promises, unfaithful comrades and left holding their penises in front of the enemy.
It is a truly sad history and every Irishman knows the history.  Ireland has only been free since the late 60’s (I think), N. Ireland still is under Britan. Irish use euro here, the north the pound. It is slightly cheaper than England but the margin is small.   

England was so that nothing jumped out at me, other than the superb grandfatherly/motherly volunteers at your local Cathedrals,  but I still have Scotland to traverse. I started from Surrey, again I am blessed to always meet the right people- my buddy and his wife have been a godsend to me. Surrey is south of London, I took the road down and westerly. I went to London one day with my buddy’s Dad and had fun.

Pss.. maybe all the pretty ones are Polish- it is a secret.  I of course will go again maybe for a week- the art and theatre has to be amazing.  Safe the museums and theatre for last to insure a good taste in my mouth! Of the British side the Buckingham Palace and Stonehenge were not to be missed. Went to Wales along the coast and then through the middle on my way to the Cotswold’s which is the area of hundreds of small English villages all well kept and spectacular splashes of color through the Spring. Now this said I must say I did enjoy the people, everyone was splendidly nice.  I will explain… Driving down the coast of Wales, was like walking through Chuckie Cheese, TGIF, Bennigans, and every other damn family bar/restaurant for three hours  that sings Happy Birthday with smiley faces.
I blame the non smokers of this world! Before.. bars made money from men who drank, smoked and boasted about being men. Today this bravado is lost and the bars are subject to recreating the patronage to clapping Happy Birthday to Bobby, veggie enthusiast and political correctors of this world.  The whole area and all the tourist attractions were geared for the family holiday. Cest la vie, if it works, it is what it is. I don’t have to like everything.  Going through the middle of Wales was way cool, getting lost, getting out walking the town for 30 minutes and moving on to the very next town. Hills and curves, lovely English Tudor homes and small village streets stretched out to the Cotswold’s. Same town structure basically but no longer the hills but in a valley (maybe) with canals and streams running through the town, Cotswolds and Wales.
  People were nice in Cotswolds, like well rehearsed- nice gone mad-  a Jack Lord hanging out in Hawaiian hotels doing his Hawaii 5-O character mad, kind of felt sorry for them.  It is obvious that the whole area revolves around only tourist money. Ever want to make the beggar  do something to get the dollar? Do a jig? Sing?  Or have you ever wanted to mean?  “Hey Jack, I will buy ya a drink if you say “Dano” 5 times fast after this shot.”  It is like watching Jamie Gertz acting. It is so pathetically bad but god damn the woman is beautiful (sigh).  Why can’t everyone be Marisa Tomei. There were children activities but the Cotswold’s are more or less laid out for the elderly. Old cathedrals, roman baths, ruined abbeys, Shakespeare’s birthplace (bullshit).
 One must read and walk at the same time. I enjoyed the history but I felt like someone was always looking for money with the least work possible.  This said, I completely do a 180 on the Cathedral bit. The people who worked in the Cathedrals’   were knowledgeable, intelligent, fun, warm and knew something of value- which they too valued.  

Birmingham is the second biggest city. Did their St. Pats day- like walking into a f’ing monkey cage. Christ I never seen such amateur night. Geez Louise never had a drink before?  The police and security were out in numbers and  good to go. Think like some sci fi movie that makes normal people jump around like damn chimpanzees on speed.  The night before I met these cool Indian fellas drinking at the local church, across from a store one owns.

Good guys.  I was peacefully reading and adjusting my leg when the mayhem started. No mayhem but plenty of beer, j. daniels, jameson’s more beer poured. I think I spent 100 pounds crazy night.   What a waste, as I get older I would like to think I can refrain from drinking the whole bar because I can but (a deep sigh) it seems not. One for a honest woman! Anywho, the day after took a heap of aspirin and met with my very cool hosts. People in the couch surfing world who allow you to sleep on their sofa are called host.  Had a ball with James and his friend, drank from 10am to midnightish and stayed out of harms way.

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