RAIN, RAIN GO AWAY THE RUSSIAN AIR FORCE CAME TODAY!

Iā€™ve been in Russia over a year now.  Iā€™ve grown accustomed to a lot in that time; the girls and their stiletto boots, cars being parked on the sidewalk, old ladies bumping me with their elbows as they skip ahead of me in line for the metro and countless other things.  Iā€™ve grown accustomed to a lot, seen a lot and expanded what I consider to be ā€œnormalā€ tremendously. 

Despite all Iā€™ve come to accept as normal every once and a while I still find myself surprised, even shocked, by something I see or read about in Russia.  Iā€™m not talking about the surprise of seeing how everyone went crazy for Dima Bilanā€™s performance at Eurovision 2008 (Google him if you donā€™t know him).  Yes, that was some craziness, but lets face itā€¦the over the top outrageousness of mullet touting Russian pop stars, ice skaters and violinists all performing on a 5 foot by 5 foot sheet of ice in front of thousands of fans is just a normal part of Russiaā€™s pop music scene.  Those properly acclimatized to Russia might even consider it to be a little slice of normalcy.  Actually, the performance is rather entertaining to watch, despite Dima gratuitously ripping open his shirt at the end of the song.  Wanna see what Iā€™m talking about? Click on the link for some pure Dimafabuliousness:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XR5xrU02yo&feature=related

Back to shockā€¦what has me shocked is far beyond anything even the genre of Russian pop music could create.  What has shocked me is my discovery that the Russian government ā€œseedsā€ the clouds of Moscow during major holiday weekends to prevent rain.  Seed the clouds you askā€¦what is this?  What could I mean? 

Literally, the Russian Air Force flies through the clouds dropping a mixture of cement powder (YES CEMENT), silver iodide (I donā€™t even know what that is) and liquid nitrogen (dry ice) into the clouds to absorb their moisture and prevent rain fall during a holiday weekend.  Why would they do this?  Well to protect the parades and patriotic music festivals held throughout Moscow, DUH!!! Well, the concert did feature Dima Bilan and thus I suppose the Air Force did have a patriotic responsibility to do their part to ensure all are able to fully enjoy the show.  Clearly!

This whole seeding thing just seems crazy to me.  What about environmental hazards of dropping cement into the sky to puff up with moisture?  That cement must go somewhere, right?  Likely it falls back to earth and we merry band of Muscovites breath it in for the entire duration of the holiday weekend.  Plus I would think that preventing clouds from releasing their rain loads must have some sort of impact on weather patterns.  Frankly, I donā€™t know enough about the environmental impact of this process, but Iā€™ll be 5 legged Russian bear if itā€™s good for the environment or the air quality of Moscow.  Though considering the legacy of environmentalism Russia inherited from the Soviet Union (using nuclear bombs to build artificial aquatic channels and making serious effort to irrigate the dessert by forcing Siberian rivers flow south instead of north) I shouldnā€™t be too shocked by a bit of tinkering with the weather. 

Making the whole ā€œseedingā€ process even sillier is the cost factor.  Itā€™s hard to imagine how much money is spent to keep holiday weekends from being rained out.   Here are just a few examples of the costs I could think of pilot time, seed mixture, plane maintenance, jet fuel, the cost of repairing houses that unopened bags of cement land onā€¦see what Iā€™m sayingā€¦pricey.  Russiaā€™s a rich country, but there are a lot of problems and a lot of good ways they could be using their money to help people in need, fix potholes, clean streets and so on.  It just seems to me that keeping the rain away just isnā€™t the best use of their money, even if a rain free day guarantees that Dima Bilanā€™s performance on Red Square goes off without a hitch (in fairness to the other performers it should be noted Dima was not performing alone it was a full fledged patriotic pageant not just a Dima concert, though he was the highlight of the show).

Some of you reading this (those of you who made it this far) are probably thinking Iā€™m making this whole think upā€¦ahaā€¦but I have independent verificationā€¦read the story Iā€™ve pasted below, apparently some private forgot to open one of the bags of cement.

Oh Russiaā€¦itā€™s a wild and wacky world to be sure, and you never know whatā€™s coming down the road.  Well I guess thatā€™s not 100% true, since technically you can be sure it wonā€™t be raining on May Day, Constitution Day, Independence Day (thatā€™s independence from the USSR), Victory Day or any other major Russian holiday so long as the Russian Air Force is flying high and keeping the clouds dry. 

Well thatā€™s about all there is to say for now.  I hope this message finds everyone well.  Best wishes from Mosckva. 

Michael

PS ā€“ I did some research and to be fair I need to make an addition to what I wrote above.  Apparently lots of governments ā€œseedā€ cloudsā€¦including our own.  Though it seems US seeding efforts are primarily aimed at increasing precipitation during times of drought and reducing the size of hail in dangerous storms.  I guess the US motives for seeding are a bit better then preventing rain for a holiday weekend with cement.  I read the Chinese government will seed the clouds over the Olympic Games to ensure no rain will ruin the opening ceremonies. Check out wikipedia for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloud_seeding

PSS ā€“ Article regarding Russiaā€™s recent seeding efforts:

Russians Seed Clouds with Cement

In Russia, sometimes it rains cement

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russian air force planes dropped a 25-kg (55-lb) sack of cement on a suburban Moscow home last week while seeding clouds to prevent rain from spoiling a holiday, Russian media said on Tuesday.

"A pack of cement used in creating ... good weather in the capital region ... failed to pulverize completely at high altitude and fell on the roof of a house, making a hole about 80-100 cm (2.5-3 ft)," police in Naro-Fominsk told agency RIA-Novosti.

Ahead of major public holidays the Russian Air Force often dispatches up to 12 cargo planes carrying loads of silver iodide, liquid nitrogen and cement powder to seed clouds above Moscow and empty the skies of moisture.

A spokesman for the Russian Air Force refused to comment.

June 12 was Russia Day, a patriotic holiday celebrating the country's independence after the break-up of the Soviet Union.

Weather specialists said the cement's failure to turn to powder was the first hiccup in 20 years.

The homeowner was not injured, but refused an offer of 50,000 roubles ($2,100) from the air force, saying she would sue for damages and compensation for moral suffering, Interfax said.

(Reporting by Chris Baldwin; Editing by Janet Lawrence)