Old people and Airport Madness!

London Travel Blog

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So after being excited about this trip for months, The day I leave was finally here. I got dropped off by family at the airport and I got the feeling they were happy to see the back of me for 3 weeks. Well the feeling is mutual, haha! And after doing the usual check-in, security, looking around the shops, checking emails a thousand times and hoping that the clock will decide to skip and hour or two, I had to sit for seven hours on a plane... twice. I always wonder who I will be sitting next too. I usually don't mind too much but the people I dread are the really smelly people who don't realize what deodorant is or there is always that person who can't stop talking to you the whole flight and and you just want to say "will you just shut the f**k up for 10 minutes" but you can never bring yourself to say it! I enjoy a conversation or two but you need a bit of peace and quiet from time to time. Anyway, I can now add another category to these. Old people. Here's why I now hate sitting next to them...

So I flew with Emirates to Dubai where I had to transfer to Kuala Lumpur. On the flight, we all had our own personal screens on the seat in front, all of them touch screen and they had a remote control for people who don't quite get the touch screen idea (in other words, old people). All the screens had lots of movies, TV programmes, music etc. and all quite recent releases as well. So I thought I would watch Shutter Island as I have been wanting to watch it for a while. Anyway, I could see the old couple next to me struggling to get to grips with the touch screen idea and they were too blind to see the remote. So, being the polite guy I am :), I helped them out and said to them "if you need anymore help, just ask". It's the worse thing I ever said. I mean every ten minutes I had their hand waving in my face or I could hear them through my headphones bickering to each other. "I don't know how to change it, I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to do that, why don't you ask the guy next to you", I'm thinking "No, please don't ask the guy next to you". And I can never be rude to really old people, so I always helped them. So I still don't know what happened in Shutter Island because I was constantly pressing pause or rewinding back to the part I was at and that's annoying when watching a film, Grrrrrrrr!!! Anyway, lucky for me we got really bad turbulence and the old people just shut up for an hour or so. They had annoyed me that much I even had to have a sneaky Vodka not that I need to be pissed off to have one of those.  Finally we make to Dubai, looking forward to getting into the terminal and being able to stretch my legs for a couple of hours and getting some peace and quiet especially as it was midnight when we got there. Surely it would be quiet, right?

I have never been so wrong. Dubai airport was worse than London at 5pm on a Friday night, worse than Oxford street on the first day of the sales after Christmas, This place was my version of.... Hell! I hate places that are overcrowded and people are pushing through you just to get somewhere quicker, I hate it when people are always in a rush. Especially at the airport. Come on guys, your going on holiday, chill out. I know some people are rushing to get on there next flight but you can't be telling me that everyone had a flight leaving in 10 minutes. Of course not, It was all for the duty free. What is it with people and shopping, There's thousands of ciggies, crates of booze, tonnes of aftershave/ perfume, their not going to run out so calm the fuck down! Anyway, I found a corner in the airport and hid away for an hour and a half. I actually felt intimidated by these people, which doesn't happen a lot to me. So as soon as my flight gate was open I was there in a flash. Get me on that plane! I actually want to sit on a plane for 7 hours and if I have to sit next to old people again who also happen to be fat, sweaty and can't stop talking, then fine I will, I don't care anymore, just get me out of here!!!

Anyway, On the flight things were looking up! I had 4 seats to myself while everyone around me was cramped up. Then some German guy asked if he could jump in to a seat next to me. I couldn't really say no as I hadn't paid for all of these seats and he was one of the guys cramped up. Between us we still had 2 seats each which made the flight a lot more comfortable although not as comfortable as it could have been. I thought I might get some sleep so that when I finally arrive in KL mid afternoon I will be awake and can get out and start exploring. Could I sleep? No I couldn't. We started getting really bad turbulence, So I thought maybe a couple of beers would help me sleep. And guess what, while everyone around me was catching forty winks, I was well on my way to getting bladdered. It just kept flowing and it was going down way to easily. In the end I had to stop myself as I was feeling pissed. I was even staggering to the toilet. I would have carried on but I had to meet my new TB friends Cairel and Nina at the airport and I don't think they would have appreciated me being totally out of it. I also had to go through Malaysian Immigration, which I don't think would have been a good idea turning up there pissed. So I sobered up, we got to KL on time, I got through Immigration OK and now I am off to meet my new TB friends.

tiggerlily says:
haha can't help not to smile w/ this blog..I think youre just pretending to hate old people but you really love them :)
Posted on: Feb 18, 2012
wilber85 says:
I will be that old person one day so hopefully someone will put up with me! And better an annoying old person than a screaming child! Glad you enjoyed it! :)
Posted on: Sep 02, 2011
LivNtheMoment says:
HAHA! I loved this blog. It made me smile. You have a great attitude to put up with the old people and still be kind. Cheers to you!
Posted on: Sep 02, 2011
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