Pattaya - Interleague dating capital of the world

Pattaya Travel Blog

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In Bangkok there had been farangs from across the whole world, a whole span of ages - the only common link was the preponderence of tye-dye clothing, dreads, Buddhist style tattoos and a generally thin and weathered look.

In Pattaya, however, the Germans and Russians reign supreme. The Russians tended to be couples in the thirty to fifty age range, the Germans more solo-travellers, minimum age 60, minimum waistband XXL, maximum age of local ‘girlfriend’ 25.

The hotel we ended up in was predominantly German, so swimming in the pool was vaguely reminiscent of a scene from Coccoon. And you had to get up incredibly early to get a sun-lounger…

The beach at Pattaya is pretty good - plus as you sit there a constant stream of merchants waft past with everything from big, fat prawns (lovely) to wooden frogs that make an annoying noise when you rub a stick down the back (erm, annoying).

Tickly fish
We ate loads, worked it off on the jet-skis then went to look at fake designer merchandise in the local stores, stopping to have our feet nibbled clean by tiny fish.

On the night we hit Pattaya’s ‘Walking Street’. This is basically a lot of money being exchanged for sex, strung together by forty or so bars. If you have no hope of getting laid and have a few quid then this would appear to be the place to go. I saw a hunch-back dwarf with a tall girl (living the fantasy), guys in wheelchairs - fair play. But mainly aged, obese westerners - all with young local girls that treat them like a king for a few quid.

I was chatting with one guy to try and understand the collective taxi system and he told me of somewhere he hadn’t been to, of course, where a girl walks around on all fours like a dog and licks your feet while you eat.

Elephantastic
!

The irony was that I was with a girl who dressed a lot like the local ladies (at one point I was accidentally walking alongside the wrong person in a crowd) and could easily pass as Thai. Accordingly most guys would think I was in the boom-boom club and would quite openly stare at my ‘purchase’ when they walked past to compare it with theirs. It’s a lovely place.

The next day was much the same apart from we decided to break it up a bit with an elephant ride. For fifteen dollars or so we were whisked by taxi to a local animal exploitation centre then joined the queue to ride the elephants.

The elephant ride itself was quite enjoyable. We went on a big circuit and the elephant busied itself eating random flora and fauna and occasionally the bananas that we had brought. The only hairy moment was when a stray horse bolted past; surprisingly the elephant was scared of horses and started to rear, but the little elephant driver soon calmed him down.

After the elephant journey we were ushered past various animals chained to sticks that you could have your photo with for cash, then onto our ‘meal’ - all inclusive according to the place we’d bought the tour. The meal was a few chunks of pineapple covered in flies. I declined. We decided that it was maybe time to head to some sort of island.

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Not permanent...
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Tickly fish
Tickly fish
Elephantastic
Elephantastic
Pattaya
photo by: Kju