Lima para navidad

Lima Travel Blog

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Electrici-tree

Cruz del Sur was the only carrier available - otherwise I prefer the cheap buses where you can lean out of the windows and stop for suspect roadside snacks.

Inside the CdS bus is more like an aeroplane. Once on that’s it until the destination - yunless you need a poo then you have to tell the driver as the inside toilets are only for urination. In practice the bus never stops and a lot of people seem to have some suspiciously aromatic wees.

Also the windows are sealed and dark-tinted, so you get a little hint of all the beautiful scenery that you pass without being able to properly see or photograph any of it.

Cruz del Sur got right on my tits. My left jubbly was offended by the movies - they actually had a Mel Gibson film that was surprisingly both quite good and didn’t give a backhand to England, minority ethnic/religious groups or women - a real rarity.

Makes Diana's memorial look a bit rubbish

I was getting into the film, as you tend to at about ten minutes before the end, when they suddenly switched it off so everyone could sleep. At 10:43. That well documented official sleep time. Porqueeeeeeeeeeee??!!??

My right titty didn’t feel the pain until after I arrived in Lima. After twenty minutes and various staff mincing around uselessly they managed to confirm that they’d accidentally left my rucksack in Arequipa, but it was probably on the next bus that would arrive in a few hours.

My rucksack turned up later. Lima was just as dull as the last time I’d been there. Highlights were a trip to ‘Original fin’ restaurant (The pun works better in Spanish - Pescado (fish) and Pencado (Sin).

Foutain hologram - woooh
The menu was incredible, with a fun menu with such lines as ‘The arrogant tuna is bristling with rage and hormones, finding only the fisherman’s net in its search. Garlic butter tempers his fury…’ etc. I chose some sort of sin that involved prawns, and very nice it was too.

I also went to Parque del Aqua Magico Excellente, or some such thing, which had a lot of pretty fountains and a hologram/music display in the bigger water features.

For Christmas eve me and Israel were going to go to Miami’s Grandmas house for a traditional Christmas - Peru stylee.

After a particularly traumatic taxi ride (the engine kept randomly cutting out, and of course no seatbelts) then we arrived at our destination at about 10pm.

In Peru then the big celebration is at midnight on Christmas Eve, so we had a bit of wine and then headed into the street at ten to midnight for fireworks.

Throwing a few fireworks around

Peruvians love fireworks, which is bad news in a country that has scant regard for health and safety legislation. The standard fireworks options, to be mixed and matched as follows:

The Lee. Fellow survivors of previous NYE displays will know where the name derives from. Involves giggling whilst lighting big fireworks in front of people, generally within a maximum of 50% of the recommended safe distance. Its better if the fireworks keep falling over.

The Casual Toss. Wander around with a bag of bangers, casually lighting them and nonchalantly dropping them behind you. The more clandestine you are, the more chance of someone accidentally walking into it. Classic.

The unsecured Catherine Wheel. As self-explanatory as it is amusing/reckless. Light it on the floor, run, watch everyone soil themselves.

Lima

The Leg Burner. Light a bunch of firecrackers and throw them at someones feet. Hilarious. The 86 year old grandad couldn’t get enough of this one.

Combine this with smoke, explosions, giggling, shrieking, people chasing each other with fireworks and a few of the old ‘Oh, it’s gone out - best light it again..’s then it was quite an underwear-filling experience and I was quite happy to go back into the house with both eyes and no burns.

Dinner was chilli-turkey, potato/choclo salad, avacado, gravy and little fried things that were a bit like square Yorkshire puddings. Good food, friendly people, interesting fireworks and then back at half three in a taxi that had seatbelts and a working engine.

Merry Christmas.

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Electrici-tree
Electrici-tree
Makes Dianas memorial look a bit …
Makes Diana's memorial look a bit…
Foutain hologram - woooh
Foutain hologram - woooh
Throwing a few fireworks around
Throwing a few fireworks around
Lima
Lima
Lima
photo by: rsvpme