Guarda do Embau - Casa Da Bob

Guarda do Embau Travel Blog

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Incredible

Me, Frenchster, Israel and Brazil decided to head south to Guarda de Emdau - a small town south of Floripa that allegedly had even better beaches.

The journey was only an hour, but it was a local bus so I had to stand all the way (not strictly true, but there was no shortage of elderly women on the bus so as soon as my cheeks hit the cloth I found myself offering the seat to yet another brazilian granny).

We walked into the first hostel we found - Casa de Bertao (House of Bob) and it was incredible.

Bob had obviously read Alice in Wonderland and then dropped a couple of tabs of acid before designing the place.

The House of Bob had all the facilities you would expect - swimming pool, pool table, see-saw, rope swing, cow-swing, sheep on a spring, ladder-up-a-tree, barbeque-pit, snake-shower, medicinal herb-garden and mushroom stools.

Lovely beaches

The dorms were plastered with pictures of a younger Bob and his family, including one that looked like Cat-weazel, which was either Bob’s father, or just some funny looking bloke he’d taken a picture of. I thought it would be rude to ask. Unless I rephrased the question.

We spent the next few days wandering on the beaches, swimming in the sea and cooking group food. Given that Frenchster didn’t eat any vegetables and Israel didn’t eat pork, this led to some interesting mealtimes. I soon ascertained that one over the number of people is the fraction of meals that you should expect to actually eat what you want.

The local bar was pretty lively, with a live reggae-esque band one night, and a live rock-esque band on my birthday. The posse bought me a pair of flip-flops and made me a chocolate ice-cream cake, which was nice.

Sheep on a spring. Standard.
It was a good night too - I got hammered, had happy birthday sung to me in three different languages (bizarrely all to the same tune) and played to me by the band, thanks to Brazil.

Just when I thought the night couldn’t get any better the band played two travelling theme tunes - Otherside by the Chillis (the dance version had followed me through nightclubs from Miami to Bolivia) and Life is Good by Jason Mraz (which I’d heard approximately 72 times already in Brazil). Excellente.

I’d got the nickname ‘the teacher’ as the group’s language of choice was English in which I was marginally the most proficient. Unfortunately my lessons consisted of fairly useless tat, like “A baker’s dozen is thirteen, because…” and “You can say ‘smell you later’ to friends.

Okay, some of the food was pretty good...
It’s funny. Well actually, not that funny”.

There were a few major errors that I didn’t correct because I quite liked hearing them:

French - never using ‘h’ apart from where it shouldn’t be used, like in ‘h-ours’

Brazil - double negatives - ‘They don’t know nooo-thiiing.’

Israel - the word love being used in place of like ; ‘Would you love sugar in your coffee?’. Conversely a slightly worrying over usage of the expression ‘I will kill you’.

My poor teaching skills got rumbled eventually...

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Incredible
Incredible
Lovely beaches
Lovely beaches
Sheep on a spring. Standard.
Sheep on a spring. Standard.
Okay, some of the food was pretty …
Okay, some of the food was pretty…
Moo!
Moo!
Guarda do Embau
photo by: richiegetslost