Dateline Cusco

Cusco Travel Blog

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My night was only marginally better than the guy in blue's...

I’d arranged a date with the bar-girl in the previous week, which she hadn’t turned up for and ten missed calls on my phone led to the arrangement of another one. Little did I know it would be the most farcical date of my life.

We had arranged to meet at 9 outside the McDonalds. At 9 promptly my phone rang ‘I’ll be a few minutes…’

At 9.30 it rang again ‘One minute…’

At 9.45 my date appeared. With her little sister. Potentially an incredible date, but I didn’t really think it was going to play out that way.

It quickly became apparent that the noise of the club wasn’t the barrier to communication, it was the fact that I spoke about as much Spanish as a foetus and her English skills were on a similar level.

The little sister acted a bit like a translator, and also snubbed my idea of getting a pizza as she wasn’t hungry. I was Hank Marvin.

The night got better. We went into a little club when one of bar-girls friends turned up looking distraught. She disappeared and came back ten minutes later, announcing that she had just found out that one of her friends had died.

We then went to Momma Africa’s for drink, dancing and me accidentally calling her family member a dyke.

Not entirely my fault. Two almost identically dressed women, one with short hair kept banging into her sister on the dance floor. I said ‘what’s up with the lesbians?’. Suddenly her English was perfect, ‘that’s my sister-in-law actually’.

A bit more dancing and drinking then she said lets go. We all left the club, then she got in a taxi with her friend and effed off.

So I went home, cried and had a w- cold shower.


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My night was only marginally bette…
My night was only marginally bett…
photo by: Vlindeke