Cusco - Happy New Year and toe-jobs

Cusco Travel Blog

 › entry 57 of 77 › view all entries
Potted Cusco: Llamas and fountains.

 

I arrived in Cusco and decided I needed my usual Christmas so holed myself up in a hotel and spent a few days eating food, reading and watching TV. A consequence of this is that I’ve found myself liking ‘The New Adventures of Old Christine’ - one of the limited number of programmes that screen in English.

I decided that it would be nice to have a bit of company on New Years Eve so checked into the Pariwana hostel, fed myself up and headed out for a massage.

The massage was good value (about a fiver for an hour) though it did get a little bit weird…

As a novice flip-flop wearer I’d managed to kick a kerb back in Paraguay. At the time it hurt so much I thought I’d broken my to; a month later and it still ached a bit though the nail, whilst a lovely black colour, hasn’t fallen off as yet.

Yummy.

At some stage in the proceedings the girl was pulling my toes and I winced as she hit the bad one. After a brief discussion it became clear that she was going to use her massage skills to cure my injury. A nice thought, but in practice a bit creepy.

She produced a tub of healing butter, smeared it all over my big toe then started effectively masturbating my toe, to the accompaniment of inappropriate noises such as ‘mmm’ ‘yeah’ etc.

Although slightly disturbing, the good news was that having my toe covered in butter and wanked seems to have cured the aching. All I need to do now is bruise my penis then head back there…

Thoroughly refreshed I headed to the hostel bar to start the night. In Peru yellow is the lucky colour for the new year, so there was a lot of yellow balloons, confetti, glasses, paint and large yellow Y-fronts being worn superman style.

Kid with 'Accident on a Stick'

I ended up with a group of Peruvian dudes from Lima, standing in the city square for midnight. Again with the firework madness - but even more mental than Christmas. As well as the old favourites there were a couple of new ones...

Rocket in A Bottle

Does what it says on the tin. Worth watching out for as it tends to be small kids firing them - when they hold it at arms length then its just about under your nose.

Explosions on a Stick

Quite popular. A two metre long stick that you set fire to the end of and over the next five minutes it randomly shoots out sparks/rockets/bangs/ flaming death.

I got a spark in my eye at some stage from a badly wielded stick but no lasting damage.

PFF - Peru Friends
Then onto a nightclub - I was quite drunk at this stage and had to make a conscious effort to stop my legendary dancing-face from coming to the fore.

Then onto another club where a bouncer slapped one of the guys in the face; as they were Law Students they went to the police, who looked about as concerned as if they were reporting the death of a goldfish.

I decided to call it a night at 4 am and head back for sleep, beautiful sleep.

Miami was in Cusco for new year with a friend, although both of them were knocked out with altitude sickness for a few days so I only met them on the second.

Both of them were rocking Peruvian bloodlines and the next few days involved hearing a lot of Spanish and getting trashed with them and a couple of their local compadres - a tattoo studio owner and a local barmaid.

I'm lovin' it

In between spending way too many hours in such quality establishments as Mamma Africas, Frogs and Inka Team I managed to get my Jesus on with a night time visit to Cristo Blanco.

Tattoos rolled up in a battered VW Beetle and informed us that the night time view from the hill top could not be missed. Sounded good. First we had to push the Beetle down the street to get it started. And a second time. And a third.

Finally we were off - cramped in a rickety car with a crucifix swinging wildly from the mirror and loud Bob Marley blasting out the windows, in between skipping every time we went over a bump in the road.

Up a few hair-raising mountain roads, featuring a few near misses and plenty of Peruvians expressing roadside Marley appreciation and we made it to J-Dizzle. The view was, as promised, unmissable.

Peruano South Park
On the way back Tattoos pranged his mighty chariot off a parked car, which was nice.

I also got to try out Northern Peruvian Cuisine at a local restaurant. Cusquenean food has a dearth of sauces - most meals are very dry requiring several sachets of ketchup/mayonnaise or a litre of cola to get through them without dying from dehydration.

By contrast North Peruvian food is both saucy (oo-er) and incredible, a type of curried lamb on the bone and various seafood dishes really hitting the spot. The small drink of fishy lime juice wasn’t so nice though, but at least it wasn’t dry…

By this stage I wasn’t really sure what my travel plans were, so settled with heading generally Chile-ward. Next stop Arequipa - couldn’t be as bad as last time, could it?ã��

�

Join TravBuddy to leave comments, meet new friends and share travel tips!
Potted Cusco: Llamas and fountains.
Potted Cusco: Llamas and fountains.
Yummy.
Yummy.
Kid with Accident on a Stick
Kid with 'Accident on a Stick'
PFF - Peru Friends
PFF - Peru Friends
Im lovin it
I'm lovin' it
Peruano South Park
Peruano South Park
Salud
Salud
Cusco
photo by: Vlindeke