Day 5: An American tour guide? No, he's French, but his English is better than yours!

Versailles Travel Blog

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You wish your ceiling was that awesome.
Considering we got back to the hotel well past midnight from our Eiffel Tower excursion, we rather tired when our wake-up call came the next morning. We don't know what time, except that it was...early...very early...but once we got some food, we managed to sleep on our morning bus tour. But our tour guide told us some really interesting things about the city. It was my favorite bus tour of the entire trip. The most amusing fact I learned was that people used to kill themselves off of the Eiffel Tower, but it became a problem when they landed on people waiting in line to go up.

After the morning tour, we went on a tour of the Palace of Versailles. It was so huge, but absolutely beautiful. I can't even begin to describe how amazing it was.
The top of Marie Antoinette's bed. I'm only 5'1", and there were a lot of tall people...
Unfortunately, I had a rather grisly encounter with a public toilet...all I'll say is...there was quite a bit of piss on the seat...I actually lifted the lid was much more sanitary...and wet toilet paper...a whole new experience...

I was really suprised to find that our tour guide of the palace was French. Seriously. He was talking to us, but his English was so great, that I figured he was from America, but just knew a lot about the French Revolution (the most bad ass revolution of all of them). He even had a slight southern twang when he spoke. Then he started speaking French to someone, and I figured out that he was actually a Frenchman. He was really cool too. He told us every little detail about the palace and the royalties that lived there. As he went through the rooms, he would talk, and then end his spiel on an insanely dramatic note and look at us.
You wish the view out your window was that awesome.
It sort of freaked me out. Except when he ended it on lame things like, "And then they finished mass..." But the dramatic ones like, "And then Marie Antoinette's other son starved to death in prison...he was only twelve..." were intense. I pulled the kid's age out of my ass, but I know he was young, a'ight?

After the tour, we went through the gardens, which were so huge and beautiful, I think my brain exploded. But the bushes that resembled penises were quite amusing. When we finished going through the gardens, we went to a little souvenir shop to look at a few things. A few other kids from our school came over and said, "We have to be back at the busses in one minute."

Thus began a high-speed sprint. Picture it...five American teens running as fast as they can through the cobblestone streets of Versailles to get back to their tour bus.
Penis bush!!!
When suddenly, they're fifteen minutes early!

"I thought we had to be back at three fifteen..."

"It was three fourteen when you found us?"


"Go fuck yourself."

So we hung around by the busses, talking and laughing, when a man came up to us and said, "Bling, bling." He held up a bag of light-up Eiffel Towers.

"Je ne parl pas Frances," replied one boy. "I don't speak French." (Forgive me if I spelled that wrong, I'm a Spanish student.)

"No, I'm speaking English!" said the salesman. "Not French!"

We said no thank you, and the man moved along and walked up to a group of tanner people that he assumed were Mexican and shouted, "ARRIBA! ARRIBA!"

We all burst into laughter as the group of supposed-Mexicans walked away, speaking rapid French in what were obviously not Mexican but French accents.

We went back to Paris and had about an hour of free-time around Notre Dame. We went through the cathedral, and then a group of us found a small cafe and ate crepes. While in the cafe, a cat came up to us. I'm a dog person, but the cat was rather sweet. It purred and rubbed up against me, and then it jumped on the booth seat and crawled into Mandy's lap. She pet it, and then it crawled into Jin's lap. He tried to shove it away and said, "I really like dogs." But it dug its claws into his leg and demanded (by purring and rubbing up against him) to be pet.

Afterwards, we went to dinner at a little Italian restaurant, where, after almost spilling a pitcher of water, I came up with the great new swear word, "flipper shit.
About 1/235435 of the gardens.
" Don't ask. I don't know either.

Then we had a river cruise along the Seine. I fell asleep for most of it. But we did get some sweet pictures of the phones that told you about the different sites in multiple languages. We figured out that they were French, English, Italian, Spanish, German, Russian, Japanese, and Chinese.

Then...the brasserie...

Tequila sunrises are very delicious. A wonderful mixture of grenadine, tequila, and orange juice. And it came with a glow stick!!! I had the best cocktail of all.

What happens next?  A trip on the TGV where my contacts get stuck to my eyes, and the hotel that's the perfect setting for a horror film! Teenagers running and screaming through the Pyrenees...and a shepherd!!!
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You wish your ceiling was that awe…
You wish your ceiling was that aw…
The top of Marie Antoinettes bed.…
The top of Marie Antoinette's bed…
You wish the view out your window …
You wish the view out your window…
Penis bush!!!
Penis bush!!!
About 1/235435 of the gardens.
About 1/235435 of the gardens.
We had several children together..…
We had several children together.…
Yeah, we took pictures of everythi…
Yeah, we took pictures of everyth…
Hardcore fountain
Hardcore fountain
About 958739543 times the size of …
About 958739543 times the size of…
photo by: diisha392