TO ALL MUM'S OF THE WORLD...THIS IS FOR YOU

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Mum...
Wow I am not sure where to start...

Well I think I need to start with a little about my Mum...
She is still alive..and chipper as ever...
She's is a card, I am not allowed to tell you her age...but she's has four children.
My Mum was brought up in Alberta...seven brothers and sisters I believe..
I can't keep track of all the cousins I have, I have not met them all.  Big...big...family on my mom's side.
My grandmother could not look after all the children she had...so the kids were adopted out.
My mother and one of her brothers, where adopted to a family, and I don't believe they realized they had brothers and sisters until after my mums dad died.
So it was a bit of a shock she had so many brothers and sisters...so through the years they all got to know each other, and some lived close by.
Mum

When my mum and dad left the farm in Alberta...they moved to Campbell river, where my aunt terry lived.  I also had an uncle Bruce and an aunt Letta who also lived in Campbell river.

That is a wee bit of the short version about my mom's history...most of the family history is under my father's blog.

My mom...well she is a character.  she has always had a great sense of humor...and she is so naive:)  You can't help but want to tease mum.
She is a wee tiny thing, not more than about 4'10"...I am taller than her...hahahahah...but still shorter than the rest of my family. She gives everything of herself to her family and friends...and can never tell a joke right:0  she doesn't get them when you tell the, either...she is spunky.
Awww mum on the farm
.and will tell you off in a second...smack you in the head...all the while laughing...:)

After my father passed away (I was age nine), my mum re-married.  She was still young, and wanted to have a father figure in the house to help raise my sister and I ...I suppose.  I have a half sister, and a half brother...I have never considered them as half's...but just my sister and brother..
My younger sister Lorna has two children, my brother has none...and my older sister also has no children...well her and her husband have a dog...and that is child enough for them...her husband Don has one son.

Then there is me, I have one daughter her name is Coralee, she has two daughters, Maddy and Sophie.

So a little history about my daughter and me.
mum
..
I was very young and living in Alberta, when I became pregnant with my daughter. My partner wanted to have children...and so I obliged...when I told him, I guess he got scared and left...I never saw him again...although when my daughter was born...he came trying to find me through a friend...I have not spoken to him or seen him since he left.
At that time I was devastated...and very scared.  I was living in a large city and did not have a family there.  My family lived in Campbell river.
I never told my mum, until after my daughter was born.
I wasn't married to my partner...and way back then...well I just never said anything to my mum.
But I was determined to have my child, and raise her...no matter what...I loved her already...
my dad and my mum in the Calgary stampede parade :)
and scared out of my wits.  I knew nothing about giving birth...and by the time my friends in Alberta knew...I was hearing all the horror stories about child birth...I never thought I was going to live through it all:)
So I went to the doctor and tried to have him, explain what was going to happen to me...(yes I had no clue...imagine that).......I was to scared to ask my own mum.  I blossomed while being pregnant...I was never sick a day during the whole pregnancy, I walked every day...ate cherries till they were coming out my ears...and three men (who were not the father)...offering to marry me to see me looked after. (where are those men now ) (hahahahaha).... Holy it was an amazing thing how so many of my friends wanted to help me out.  I was working for a dance studio at the time, and I was able to work until I was around five months.
Mum and my aunt
..then I started to show a bump, and I didn't want other people I was teaching how to dance feel uncomfortable :) 
I was living with a girlfriend and getting ready for my baby...as the months started to pass...i got more and more scared...I was afraid I wouldn't know how to look after her, I was afraid she would not have a good life living with me...I was young...and irresponsible...I was not settled down, I didn't want to marry my friends just so they could help me out...nice offer, but I knew that wouldn't work.  I had more mums, dads, friends...it was amazing.
I went through many emotions while waiting for her to grow...and make her entrance into the world.  I wanted her to have a stable home, a mum a dad my a brother or sister...I wanted her to have everything i could not give her.
My mum was so proud of the boat my dad made
.. I wanted her to not want for anything.
So I went up and down...I was going to keep her...no I was going to give her up for adoption...she was much better off without me...but I wanted to keep her more than anything...I wanted to be her mum.  I had no idea what the hell i was going to do.  How was I going to raise this child, and bring this wee one into a world full of chaos ...I had no clue...I had friends to talk to...and much advice was given...but the one person I needed to talk to...well I was to scared.  My mum had enough on her plate...she had children at home...and I just had no clue what to do.
The day was getting close...and I was no closer to a decision.
So December 2nd.. ...three days before my birthday...my daughter came into the world.
hahahah camping
  So 12 hours of labour...not a peep outta me until the last few minutes...you see my daughter (like me)...made her grand entrance bum first...I could not have any anesthetic...I had to breathe for her...because her head was coming out last.....Geeezzzzzz  But out she came...and many stitches later...some laughing gas...and 12 interens watching to see their first breech birth...she arrived...
I held her in my arms...and I fell in love in an instant.  I still did not know what to do.  I was still afraid I could not provide her with everything.  I was to be in the hospital for a week.  The next day a counselor came in to talk to me about what I should consider.  They told me that welfare would provide everything I need for my daughter and I.
Mum
..they would provide a home and everything I needed.  I cried...because at that time I had no job, very little income...and no family support (which is my fault because I never told my family).  I don't think my younger sister even knew until a few years ago.  Yes I can keep my mouth shut...sometimes to much so ...but that is me very private..
Anyways I had a lot of decisions to make...so after taking the time to talk to a counselor, and talking to a few friends, I made the decision to put here with foster parents until I could make a proper decision.  I held and fed my baby for a whole week.  I left the hospital without her in my arms...and I thought I was going to die...my heart and soul had been ripped apart...but I needed time to think.
Grand mother and my sister
  I needed to make the biggest decision of my entire young life...and I didn't know.  I knew I loved her with all my heart and soul...but I also knew I wanted better for her.  So a few weeks passed...and I had made the decision I wanted her to come and live with me...purely out of a heart decision...because I loved her so...it had nothing to do with common sense...I just wanted her to be with me.  So she came home...I loved holding her...and she slept through the night from day one.  I finally phoned my mum...who at this time was in the hospital...(great something my family never told me)....and I asked my mum...would you like to be a grandmother...she asked me when is that going to happen...I said well how about now... I think she was in total shock.
My sister and I
  I decided then I would move back to Campbell river...my mum had an operation on her back...and things had gone wrong and she could not feel from the waist down. ....So I packed up my daughter and myself...and away we went...we flew into Vancouver...I got stuck in Vancouver...couldn't fly home because of fog...I had a wee baby...the airlines put us in a hotel...and then we took a bus from Vancouver..over to the island...and then up to Campbell river...my wee baby hardly made a peep.  I found an apartment with my friend Jacquie...and we all settled in.  My mum was still in shock...and I started feeling guilty...because I didn't have a proper home...I couldn't live with my parents.....and I didn't want to be a welfare mum my hold life...and I didn't want my daughter to have to go through hell with me.
Me...and ....
......So I contacted welfare in Campbell river...and made arrangements to surrender my daughter for adoption.  She stayed with a foster family for a bit...then at that time I was able to choose her family based on history...home...structure...etc...I chose a family that lived in the country...and owned their own home and had an adopted daughter already...I thought yay she will have someone to play with...and her home will be stable.
So when my daughter was six months old...I went to court to go in front of a judge, sign the papers...and walk away...never to see her again...yes I got to choose the family...but I was never to know their names.  I got to hold her in my arms one last time...and when I gave her to the counselor for the last time....
my uncle, my aunt and mum
i thought my heart would burst with so much pain....I never thought I would survive...But I also believed I did what was best for her...not for me...I loved her sooo much...I wanted her to have the best life.
I thought about her every day...I thought about her every mum day...every birthday...I wondered how she was...what did she look like...was she happy...
Time wore on...and in the last ten years records were allowed to be public...I was going to be able to find my daughter...I had to register to find her ...I had to give my name...and then they would give me her name ...Oooo I was soo happy...i went to the bureau of vital stats...and I registered...I was given her adopted name a few weeks later....yipppeeee I had her name...but that was it...
So I started to look.
ahhh the family...camping...
..it was also during this time I suffered another blow...and that was a divorce to a partner I had been with for 14 years....and we separated...lots of stuff happened...I ended up walking and I lost everything...
So during this time I stopped looking for my daughter because I did not want her to meet me like I was...
So I told my older sister about everything, I gave her my daughters name...I was scared that maybe she would not want to see me...another few years passed...my older sister got damn sick and tired of waiting for me...she finally wrote to my daughter and introduced herself in a letter...Coralee got the letter...almost had a heart attack and phone my sister right away...My sister phoned me told me she had spoken to my daughter and to get off my ass and phone her.
my brother...and my sister
....
holy crap Martha!!!!  I was scared shitless...and excited at the same time...I am sure people could hear me from here to China...
So I phoned...and when she answered...I heard myself...holy crap....
We talked for hours...and i made arrangements to go see her in January...holy...was I scared...but out I went...and when I first laid eyes on her...I saw me...and she saw her....and we connected instantly...we sound the seam...we look the same...Coralee was very happy because she got to see where she came from...I got to see my one and only child...and life began again for me that day...my heart was full...and it was bursting with a feeling so profound...that I can't even describe.  I met my grand babies...and wow...so amazing...
We are all so much alike its scary.
My younger sister
.
So we are still learning and getting to know each other...they have come out here to see me...we both work like dogs...so keep in touch by phone all the time.
We laugh the same...and we feel a comfort...that even though so much time has passed...that we haven't missed a thing...it's like we have always known and loved each other always.....
I love her with all my heart...I want to move there...to be with my family..my friends live close by...and I am trying to find work there....
that is my story...all about being a mum.......
I love you mum...for being you...
and I love my daughter...and my sister for finding her.....
It's a love so real....it's forever...
So to all you Moms...sisters...and girls...
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.....






 



jeminigirl says:
You're welcome Bev, have a fantastic time with your daughter & grandchildren. x
Posted on: Aug 19, 2011
hummingbird50 says:
Aww thanks Allie...
Thanks for coming by and reading it:)
It is a real love story...and a great ending.
I see my daughter and grand babies a lot. Well they are getting older :)
In fact I am heading out to see them the first week of September :)
Have a great day.
Posted on: Aug 18, 2011
jeminigirl says:
What a beautiful story, I need a tissue, should not have read it a work =D
Posted on: Aug 18, 2011
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Mum...
Mum
Mum
Awww mum on the farm
Awww mum on the farm
mum
mum
my dad and my mum in the Calgary s…
my dad and my mum in the Calgary …
Mum and my aunt
Mum and my aunt
My mum was so proud of the boat my…
My mum was so proud of the boat m…
hahahah camping
hahahah camping
Mum
Mum
Grand mother and my sister
Grand mother and my sister
My sister and I
My sister and I
Me...and ....
Me...and ....
my uncle, my aunt and mum
my uncle, my aunt and mum
ahhh the family...camping...
ahhh the family...camping...
my brother...and my sister
my brother...and my sister
My younger sister
My younger sister
me, and both sisters
me, and both sisters
The family
The family
Me sister
Me sister
hahaha me when I only weighed abou…
hahaha me when I only weighed abo…
me many years ago
me many years ago
Okay what the hell was I wearing
Okay what the hell was I wearing
Ooo Me in Edmonton
Ooo Me in Edmonton
Mum...with her fav drink a beer
Mum...with her fav drink a beer
So my sister, my sister, mum, my a…
So my sister, my sister, mum, my …
My mum and my older sister
My mum and my older sister
My sister husband
My sister husband
Younger sister
Younger sister
My sister and her son
My sister and her son
My brother-in-law and mum
My brother-in-law and mum
My younger sister husband and son
My younger sister husband and son
hahaha my sister when she got to r…
hahaha my sister when she got to …
My brother
My brother
hahahah me
hahahah me
Hey look!!
Hey look!!
Hiking my favorite thing
Hiking my favorite thing
I loveeeee pink
I loveeeee pink
me at work today
me at work today
me with no hair...wagghhhhhh....
me with no hair...wagghhhhhh....
Me and my friend Jacquie who came …
Me and my friend Jacquie who came…
When I first came to see my daught…
When I first came to see my daugh…
:):)
:):)
My daughter...and my grand daughter
My daughter...and my grand daughter
My beautiful daughter...
I love y…
My beautiful daughter... I love …
awwwwwww
awwwwwww
My grand daughter...the ham
My grand daughter...the ham
My youngest grand daughter at the …
My youngest grand daughter at the…
The pose
The pose
Night fever....
Night fever....
:):)
:):)
Yes I am very cool...and I love th…
Yes I am very cool...and I love t…
Let me dance....
Let me dance....
Please can I have some of that
Please can I have some of that
smell the pretty flower
smell the pretty flower
Kisses.....
Kisses.....
Yiipeeeee...my fav photo
Yiipeeeee...my fav photo
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