Oslo Sucks

Oslo Travel Blog

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Okay.  Fun night.  Really.  Totally fun.  Didn't die.  That was a good thing.  Not even sick.

So we got into Oslo from Bergen and thought that we probably would have to stay the night as there didn't seem to be any trains leaving the station going south that night (even though it was only 6pm when we got in... yeah... lovely) but we thought we'd try anyway.  We thought we saw something going the right way, but we were looking at the arrivals board not the departures board.  Dashed hopes...count is one so far for the night.  We then resigned ourselves to the fact that we wouldn't be going anywhere until about 1pm the next morning.  That was the next train south.  Yeah.  ONLY ONE TRAIN GOING SOUTH.  Oslo sucks. 

So we decide that we'll check our bags into the locker and then wander around the city for a while until it got dark and cold and then we'd go sleep in the train station.  Ev and I have slept (well...napped..) in a ferry station and I've also done so in airports.  No big deal, right?  We wandered around and found an anti-rasism free concert going on in a park with rap/regge/other anit-rasism kind of musics going on and enjoyed the free.  We went to a bar later and spent too much money on just a few beers.  It was there that we met a cool guy (well....everyone but me...never talked to the bloke) who told us that the train station actually CLOSES between 1 and 4.  yay.  YAY.  Better get make to the damned place to at least get food and find somewhere to hide. 

We get there and stall and find a nook by the lockers under a stairwell.  Things don't look good.  There are cameras pointing at us from every direction.  At 2AM someone arouses us (not I...ev and I decide not to sleep... no point.. we will be woken) and tells us to leave.  We leave and it is cold and decide to settle into a small park behind the hostel we'd previously stayed at.  We tried to get them to help us in finding somewhere safe to sleep... no luck.  All the guy said was that this was a safe neighborhood.  Good to know.  We try to settle into the park but it is cold and there is a wind.  At one point two guys start arguing and it seemed that one guy owed the other 600 dollars (krowners... whatever) but the other only had 500.  They then promptly started threatening each others' lives and at the world KILL, Jessie gave Ev the look of death and he sat up and tried to look tough by smoking and reading a fancy little book.  They guys um.... took a hint?...and left.  Yay.  Ev layed back down and something smelled.  He smelled me first (thanks, btw) and then his pillow (which was full of dirty gaunch and socks) and then him (last...ha!) and it was no where.  No matter.  It sucks.  It's cold.  And it smells.  We decided to go hang out somewhere warm.. maybe a coffee shop?  We're not sleeping at it's almost 4.  The train station opens at 4:30...... 

We pick up the blanket we were "sleeping" on and....there's dog shit right where our head was.  Yeah.  Oslo sucks.  What a wonderful night.  We were sleeping on fresh dog poo that looked like whipped fudge.  Time to move along.  Let's go.

The pizza place we find is expensive (Welcome to Norway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and Jessie orders a batch of fries for about 4 bucks's only to bide us time until the train station lets us back to sleep.  It ends up being about 20 sticks of overcooked fries.  Yay.  Time to move along. 

We end up back at the train station and try to settle back into the stairwell...until 15 minutes pass and an officer tells us to move along.  No sleeping in the stairways.  Yay.  Oslo sucks.  We move upstairs to the seats and try to sleep on them.  15 minutes pass and someone wakes us up.  No laying down allowed.  We have to sleep sitting up.  Ev hasn't slept a wink.  I've slept for maybe an hour.  At 7AM, they decide that you're not even allowed to sleep sitting up.  No sleeping allowed.  Fucking stupidest train station ever.  NO SLEEPING ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I get mad and drink coffee outside and complain with Ev. 

We end up deciding to take the night ferry back to Copenhagen and then another night train to Amsterdam the next night.  That way there's no more open nights that would mean this could happen again.  Norway is beautiful but Oslo is the absolute hole-est hole of a dive of a city that I've seen.  People are nice.  City is an ASSHOLE.  Avoid it.  Avoid the train station.  Totally expensive.  But we're alive.  Thank GOD...we're alive...

(Oh...we're in Copenhagen now...but this entry is about Oslo sucking...clear?)

Norwayo says:
I do not agree at all.

It's just because you had a shitty day there. Imagine being awake all night in your own city/town, it would suck there too. If you actually visit Oslo at daytime, and got a place to stay and money (yes, it's expensive), you will love it. And what did you think of Bergen? It's one of Norway's most beautiful places.
Posted on: Jan 22, 2016
kitmonsen says:
Ah! I disagree! There are a lot of assholes in Norway, but they tend to centre around the Central Station. Oslo is a small city, only 600,000 people so things are a bit backwards when it comes to bigger cities. There are not enough people to warrant enough services or long opening hours.

If you ever want to come back to Oslo, I can show you around on the cheap (Yes it's possible) But you need to plan and visit during the day.

So advice to future travellers; Don't hang around the central station, visit during the day, and plan to sleep in a hostel at least. Camping in the forest is very nice, but you will have to take the underground to at least Songsvann (20min). Don't go in the parks, especially in near the train station.

There are a lot of things to see, but I'm sorry you had a shitty experience, both of you. I can show you how to visit the city in 24 hours and avoid spending lots of money!

By the way velvetman, most countries are self-loving, hypocritical nations, just look at the USA. :)

Posted on: Jan 09, 2011
velvetman says:
Oh yes I agree. I`ve been all around the world and I have to say that I`ve never been in a country with more assholes than in Norway. They are a self-loving, hypocritical nation of people. You can`t possibly fit in there unless you are an inborn native. And Olso simply sucks in every way, stinky boring expensive shitty city.
Posted on: Jun 18, 2009
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