I am... Mosquito-Man!

I am a walking blood bank for mosquitoes.  Seriously, it's beyond the freakin joke.  I have been bitten so many times, the mosquitoes have started biting the bites.  Word round the camp-fire has it, that a committee of the Mosquito Elders has decided it would just be easier to stick a catheter in my arm and start pumping the stuff out wholesale.

Welcome to Chiang Mai.  Home of many wondrous sights, Thai foods unique to this region, and the swarming epicentre of the mosquito empire.  It has got to be said though, that Chiang Mai is a pretty damn cool city.  It's the second city of Thailand, and with that you'd expect the kind of headless mayhem you'd get in Bangkok, but the reality is a place that is pretty easy-going and chilled out.

We're staying at a guest house called Gaps Place, and this place is da bomb, as Tim Westwood would say.   It has a very old school colonial feel to it, and I've decided that I might spend a bit longer in Chiang Mai than originally planned, simply to chill out a bit longer at this guest house.  We hired a motorbike yesterday, and took in the sights in, and around, the city.  I love riding that motorbike.  I'm going to hire another at some point.  It's super.  We went to a place called Doi Suthep, which is part of a large national park and in the middle, on top of the mountain, is a big temple.  One of the most impressive temples I've seen yet to be honest.  There was a spooky green plastic Buddha that had us silent for quite a while.  We then went to a temple called Wat U-mong.   That still makes me giggle.  WHAT, YOU MONG!!  I need to grow up a little methinks.  Anyway.  It was peacful there, and had brick-lined tunnels through a big hill that had religious artifacts in them.  We capped of yesterday with a fantastic oil massage (No lads.  No.  This was a proper, traditional type of massage ok.  No, not of my knob.  Oh whatever), followed by some Arabic food.  I then donated a few more pints of blood to the Hungry Mosquito Foundation and then went to bed.

Today we got up quite early, and hooned off on the motorbike again to Doi Pui National Park, to see a Hmong Tribal village.  This is where the trouble began.  We got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere, on a twisty mountain road.   We coasted back downhill until we reached a park rangers station and he took our motorbike somewhere and brought it back with an inflated tyre.  Score! We set off again, and then we almost ran out of petrol (in the middle of the national park) but by some stroke of luck, some guy in a shack selling bananas and water happened to sell petrol in Samgson Whiskey bottles.  Score!  We set off again, and then we get another flat tyre.  On a hunch, we coasted back for 30 mins to the guy that sold us the bottle of petrol, and he happened to have inner tubes, and proceeded to change the tyre for us!  Ray Mears?  Ray Who?  We did eventually get to the so-called Hmong Tribe village, and found little evidence of the Hmong tribe except for some naff museum demonstrating traditional Hmong life.   Dunno where the Hmong tribes people were.  Probably watching TV.  We noticed a random set of stairs heading straight up into the jungle, so we decided to follow it up.  We were climbing steps for 20 mins, as they just went on and on and on.  Eventually, we reached the top and it opened up into a fantastic Buddhist monastery, with breathtaking views over the jungle, valley, and the flat plains upon which Chiang Mai sits.  So, not a total waste of a day.

I'm now sat in a net cafe, using zen levels of concentration to not scratch myself to death.  I am going to book a trek/tour thing in a little while (you know, elephant trek, some white water rafting etc) with my terribly fun travelling partner.  You know, the German one?  Oh, did I mention she doesn't drink?  She hates all animals (she thinks anyone who strokes any kind of animal is weird and can't relate to humans).  She's also a strict vegitarian, bordering on vegan as she doesn't eat eggs.  Believe me, she's a barrel of fucking laughs.