Chiang Mai Travel Blog

 › entry 10 of 12 › view all entries
So, where did we leave off? Oh, yeah - I was contemplating going out for a drink or two.  I got back to my guest house at 7am.  I've had one hours sleep, because I had to take the damned motorbike back to the rental place.  When I got back, all my stuff was strewn around the room - it took me a full hour to repack my backpack.

I feel terrible.  Nothing I do seems to fix it.  I've tried eating breakfast.  I've tried drinking lots of water.  I'm listening to Nirvana, that's kind of helped a bit!  I'm going to get some soup noodles in a while and hope that might settle me a bit.  If that fails I'm going to buy a bottle of SamSong (Thai whiskey) and go with the old hair-of-the-dog strategy.

All things considered though, it was a pretty funny night.  I stopped off at a bar on the way home from the net cafe for a quick beer, and got chatting to a crazy Canadian guy called James, and his female friend Kindy.  Not long after, a cute girl called Tamzin came over and started chatting, and we proceeded to get uproariously drunk.  Her friend, Toby, came over with 3 cheeseburgers.  I was thinking that these two were an item, but it turned out quite quickly that they weren't.  Toby was actually a pretty funny guy.  He's a Volcom sponsored pro surfer, and was dying to do a winter season - so I filled him in on the gritty details.  Then, I'm not sure why, but Tamzin stormed off - so Toby and I went to a nightclub called Spicy with James and Kindy.  James proceeded to get into a fight outside the club, so Toby and I nipped inside sharpish and the drinking continued!

Oh, that reminds me.  I will NEVER get used to the toilets in Thai nightclubs.  Lads, I'm sure you'll feel where I'm coming from here.  You're at the urinal, you unzip and whip it out.  You stand there for a moment, summoning up the urge to wee from somewhere deep inside.  You stare at the ceiling for a moment.  "Damn, I was dying for a piss a moment ago" you think to yourself.  "Where's it gone?!  Oh... ohhhh... THERE!  Ahhhhhh!!"  Now, anywhere else in the world this would be the beginning of the end of the story, and you'd be on your merry way.  But not in Thailand.  Just at the moment when you manage to summon the urge, when all that concentration has paid off - you suddenly feel some man gripping you by the shoulders, give you a pretty hard back and neck massage.  No, I'm not shitting you.  For real.  Why would I lie?  Each and every god damned time, I lose the urge.  I don't understand the mentality.  I mean, look, pal, this is a pretty private moment.  The LAST THING ON EARTH I want when I have my dick in my hands, is a man touching my back.  IT'S WRONG OK.  WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Heh... I just wondered to myself how many women reading this wished they could wee like a man just once, to see what it's like.  Come on, don't lie.  You HAVE thought about it before!  Anyway, it's great, so long as the creepy cloakroom attendant leaves you in peace.  Alas, we digress.  We ditched the club soon after, and found a mobile bar in a campervan - and there we stayed until the wee hours drinking hideous shooters that I'd concoct and instruct the barmaid to make.

I think at some point there may have been some "throwing stuff in the moat" action, but mostly it's a blur.

My train leaves Chiang Mai at 6pm.  Between now then, I need to eat soup noodles, buy snacky supplies for the 13hr train journey, try and find a head-torch because I stepped on mine last night and obliterated it (which also means no reading in the dark... grrr), get back to the guest house to pick up my backpack, and procure a tuktuk to whisk me away to the train station.

I bid you adieu my friends, and may your back remain unmolested.
Izzy says:
Glad it's not just me!
Posted on: Jun 15, 2007
newtampo says:
No no no, Thai men also. My ex, my male friends were treated like that but they don't like either lol (I wish women toilet had one :D)
Posted on: Jun 15, 2007
Izzy says:
Do you know any Thai men find it annoying too?! It can't just be me! Or maybe they only do it to farangs?
Posted on: Jun 15, 2007
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Chiang Mai
photo by: Stevie_Wes