Scooter Save Christmas
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Scooter good dog. Scooter also excited dog! Today Christmas Eve. Scooter love Christmas! Scooter is 21 years old. That is three in peeples years. Christmas only happen once every Peeples Year. Scooter not remember Scooter first Christmas. Scooter just puppy! Scooter do remember last two Christmas. Scooter remember gifts! Scooter remember treats! Scooter remember food! Scooter remember Santa!
Scooter love Santa Claus! Scooter see Santa Claus every year. Is true!! Dogs can see Santa. Santa has Magic Powers. Peeples not see Santa because of Santa Magic Powers. Magic
Scooter can’t wait for Santa to come. Santa always share cookies with Scooter. Grandpappy put cookies out for Santa! Scooter hear Grandpappy say to Granny.
“Dear, set aside a half dozen chocolate chip cookies for me.
“Why?” say Granny “You’ll get fat.”
“I’m already fat, and besides they’re not for me. They’re for Santa.”
“Yeah. Santa. Who are you try to fool? We don’t have little kids anymore. You eat the cookies every year. Why not just cut out the middle man and eat them straight from the cookie jar, like a normal person?”
“I don’t eat the cookies” say Grandpappy. “You’re up before I am every Christmas, and you eat them.”
“Whatever. They are gone when I get up.” continued Granny
Grandpappy and Granny talk back and forth like this for awhile, but Scooter not understand.
Grandpappy comes out of kitchen with plate of cookies and sit it on table.
“Are you coming to bed?” say Grandpappy. “I’m tired and we have lots to do tomorrow.”
“Yes. I’m tired, too.” Reply Granny. “And I have to be up before you to start the turkey”
“And to eat the cookies” say Grandpappy, but not loud.
“What was that?” say Granny.
Grandpappy and Granny go to bed. Scooter usually sleep in Granny bedroom, too. But Scooter decide to sleep in living room tonight. Scooter have to make sure Eve, or Enzo, or Madie don’t steal Sco, I mean, Santa’s cookies. Scooter find nice spot beside tree and lay down. Scooter tired too. Soon Scooter sleep.
Scooter wake to sound of someone yelling.
“Come back here you, &$!@#%* cat!” yell
Scooter still part sleep. Scooter is almost bark, when Scooter realize it is Santa Claus! Scooter is excited! Scooter get cookie! Then Scooter remember Santa was yelling! Scooter wonder why Santa yell. Scooter also wonder why Santa say bad words. Is not like Santa to cuss. Scooter walk outside.
Scooter is surprised.
“Did you see that %^$&%# cat!” Santa yelled.
This not good. Santa is happy man. Santa laugh. Santa say “Ho Ho Ho”! Santa do not cuss.
“ That cat took the Daedalus Charm!” exclaimed Santa
“Everybody thinks it’s the reindeer that makes my sleigh fly. It’s not. It’s the Daedalus charm. The reindeer are there for pulling the sleigh on the ground and then to steer when the sleigh is in the air. They can’t fly without the charm!”
Then Scooter look up on house and see eight reindeer and Santa’s sleigh! Grandpappy have fit! Grandpappy not happy when Scooter poop on patio.
“I have to get that charm back or the sleigh will never fly!” continues Santa “And do you know what that would mean? No Christmas presents for all the good boys and girls. No coal for the naughty ones. Homeland Security will detain me for weeks trying to figure out how I got into this county without a passport. And the FBI will be apoplectic when they try to inspect my gift bag. They’ll never get it open! I can just see me trying to explain that
‘I’m really Santa Claus.’
"It will be mugshots and Kris Kringle-Terrorist. Christmas will be over, forever! How in the name of Rudolph’s red nose am I going to catch that cat, and get the charm back?”
Then Santa look down and notice Scooter.
“Hello, Scooter! How have you been?” start Santa
“Look I know about the bikini incident, pooping on the patio, digging up the flowers, and snitching food from the table. How about you use that nose of yours to help old Santa out? Then we put Scooter's name on the GOOD side of the ledger? What do you say?"
Scooter think Scooter already on “GOOD” side. But, not argue with Santa
Scooter woof in agreement. Scooter sniff air. Scooter can smell cat. Scooter hate cats. Cat evil. Is true! Cats not aloof. Cats not arrogant. Cats not misunderstood. Cats evil! Cats have most humans fooled. Cats do purr thing. Cats snuggle. Is act! Cats evil. Scooter has heard cats talk about taking over the world. Cats want everyone to be their slave! Scooter live next door to one of evilest cats. Scooter not surprised this cat steal Santa flying charm. Is exactly thing cat would do. Scooter will find cat!
Cat scent is still strong.
“Are you sure about this Scooter?” ask Santa “I thought cats mostly stayed close to home. They’re spoiled, pampered, little beasts.”
Scooter woof and keep going. Scooter nose say turn southwest at end of road. Then Scooter nose say turn southeast at next road. Scooter go this way in summer! This when Scooter go for ride with Nice Lady (See “Scooter Go to Jail”) Scooter wonder what Evil Cat is doing. Nose tell Scooter to go south on Memorial Trail. Scooter start to run now! Evil Cat is near! Santa try run, but Santa fatter than Grandpappy and not run fast. Scooter run very fast!
Scooter see Evil Cat! Evil Cat is perched on big rock.
“Stoopid Dog!” hiss Evil Cat “What are you doing? Let me pass! I have work to do for my new friend!”
Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Scooter not know what Evil Cat talking about. Evil Cat look beside Scooter at top of rock. Scooter know what Evil Cat is thinking. Evil Cat want to get Something and run away. Scooter not let this happen! Scooter move between Evil Cat and Big Rock. Scooter growl and snarl very loud. This all warning Evil Cat get. Evil Cat will either leave or Scooter and Evil Cat will fight! Evil Cat has sharp claws. But Scooter is not afraid. Evil Cat is afraid.
Evil cat hiss at Scooter and then run back towards Santa.
“C’mon Scooter! Get’m!” yell Santa.
Scooter does not move. Scooter bark at Santa. Scooter bark and jump on rock. Big Rock is too high for Scooter. Scooter bark and jump and dance around Big Rock. Santa run to Scooter.
“Is it here, boy?! Did you get it?” asks Santa hopefully.
Scooter bark and dance. Scooter is not a pointer so Scooter do Scooter best to tell Santa where Something is. Santa smart! Santa look on top of Big Rock.
“The Daedaulus Charm! You did it, Scooter!” yell Santa.
Santa look at his wrist.
“Good, We’ve only lost about 10 minutes. I can make that up, by just taking a few cookies instead of eating them all in the houses. Let’s get back!”
Scooter is about to walk ahead of Santa to lead Santa home, when Santa touch Scooter head. Then all of sudden Scooter is home! Scooter look up at Santa. Santa grin at Scooter and say.
“Old Santa still has a trick or two up his sleeve. Let’s go inside and take care of the presents.”
Scooter and Santa walk inside. Scooter is confused again. Scooter take two steps and Scooter inside. Scooter not remember going through door. Scooter look back and door is closed. Santa not seem notice. Santa already finished with presents and is looking at cookies.
“I left a little something under the tree for you.
“Six Chocolate Chip Cookies! My favorite! Normally, you only get one and part of another, because chocolate is bad for dogs. But, I think Santa can do something about the theobromide.”
Scooter see cookie glow for split second and then Santa say
“How many do you want, boy? Forget it. I already know. You can have them all. I get plenty through the night anyway. Be sure to share!”
Scooter look at plate of cookies as Santa set them on the floor. Santa is right. Scooter do want all cookies. Scooter not understand anything else Santa talk about. Scooter not care. Scooter look up to thank Santa, but Santa is gone! Scooter run over to window and see a streak of light in sky.
Next thing Scooter hear is sound of Granny getting up. Scooter get up with Granny and help Granny with turkey. Granny not appreciate Scooter help. Her tell Scooter to stay out from under her feet and go lay down. Scooter not care. It Christmas! Scooter walk over to tree and lay down. Granny walk over. Granny pet Scooter. Granny stop pet Scooter and say;
“What is this? I don’t remember this present. It’s for you, Scooter!”
Scooter lift up head
“Wiiiiiiiii-yum!” Granny yells.
Scooter can hear Grandpappy groan “Now what.” But, Granny no hear.
Grandpappy come into room, and sleepily say “What is it, dear? It’s 5 in the morning.”
“Where did this present to Scooter come from?”
“I don’t know” yawns Grandpappy “Who does it say it’s from?”
“It says it’s from Santa.” say Granny skeptically.
“Mystery solved. I’ll be in bed waiting for the sun to come up.” say Grandpappy
As Grandpappy walk away, Granny say
“He thinks he’s funny.
Granny tear paper off of box and open box.
“He’s lost his effin mind!” say Granny “ Look at this! That man has made you a cape with both your own “WonderDog” and the TravBuddy logos, on it! I’m gonna have to have his head examined! Santa my foot!”
“Does he think you’re a superhero? Maybe you fly at night and help Santa!” laughs Granny. “You be sure to write a North Pole blog now, Scooter?”
Scooter just look at Granny.
“It’s kinda cute, though. What say we try it on?”