High winds in the Straight of Gibraltar have forced us to bypass the Rock, so we will instead be spending two days in Malaga. I had rather being looking forward to visiting Gibraltar, particularly because it is home to the last monkeys in Europe, the Gibraltar Barbary Macaques. The locals insist on calling them Barbary Apes, despite them clearly being monkeys. The macaques were placed under the care of the British Army in 1915, who obviously didn’t do too good a job as the population declined to just seven monkeys by 1942. Winston Churchill, worried about the popular myth that the British will hold Gibraltar as long as the Barbary Macaques exist, told the military to get their act together. An officer was appointed to supervise their welfare, grant a food allowance, name each new monkey and to take sick monkeys to the Royal Naval Hospital. Sir Winston, despite his gifts as an orator, would not be approved as a Red Book keeper, boosting the population by importing new Macaques from Morocco and Algeria, and destroying forever the ability to determine whether the Gibraltar Macaques were a Moorish import from Africa or a remanent of the primordial European population. Now the Gibraltar Ornithological and Natural History Society looks after each monkey, supplementing their food, tattooing and microchipping each individual and managing the fertility of the troupes, and numbers have expanded to 230 animals in five troupes.