Canon 5: Keep it sweet.

Bermuda Travel Blog

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Your parents may have honeymooned in Bermuda, and your DNA may have originated there too. The breezy, twenty-one-mile Fishhook Island consists of stretches of pink-speckled sand beaches separated by limestone cliff-rimmed coves. Churches and colorful stone and cedar architecture distinguish the undulating landscape, while convoys of white-collar tourist duos live out biker-couple fantasies, on mopeds. Bermuda is more than a refined, secure haven for wealthy folks hiding money from governments and living off the interest. Local celebs include a Guinness Book of World Records kite flyer, Ms. Universe 1976, and Johnny Barnes" a seventyish, retired school bus driver who has dedicated his life to transferring smiles to everyone who transits around the island’s busiest traffic roundabout. Every day from 5:00 to 10:00 A.M. Barnes performs, waving, smiling, gesturing, and preaching love to all. They’ve already dedicated a life-sized bronze statue in his honor just down the road from his roundabout. Soon after passing the real Johnny Barnes you encounter the iron version: Johnny frozen in his traffic-greeting glory, giving an evangelical salute, smiling, with arms extended above his head. He apparently loves everything and doesn’t keep it a secret. When I asked him how to stay married forever, he replied, “Keep puttin’ honey on it, to keep it sweet, or you’ll be in trouble” (flashing a big smile). Barnes has been blissfully married since 1951. Here in the midst of semitropical nowhere, an island never visited by war or fast-food franchises, the oldest British colony remains a fresh-air paradise for visitors, reinsurance corporations, wealth, moped pilot training, and one chipper, immortalized bus driver. Sweet. Sixty dollars, please. Bermudian cab driver, concluding a fifteen-minute ride.
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