Photographic studies shows the prototype for a new shark cage may have some flaws...
22nd August 2007
Slovenia (euro trip part 13)
Current Mood: Adventurous
Category: Travel and Places
We steamrollered into Ljubljana and found our hostel that was bigger than a school. The whole population of Ljubljana must be staying at this place it was big enough, though it wasn’t long before I discovered why everybody was here.
This country is brilliant – and to think I didn’t even plan to come here before we left. The mind boggles. Anyroad, we were going to be here for about a week so it was about time I attempted to learn some of lingo of at least one of the countries I was visiting. First thing I learnt was how to say ‘Two beers please!’ There wasn’t much need to learn much else after that, except maybe thank you. Ljubljana is a proper nice place let me tell you. I always considered it ‘that country I never take any notice of’ when I was it on an atlas, but it’s all he little things and the homely feel this place had about it. Like when we to once place that are renowned for serving coffee in a giant mug. In fact it was more like a bowl. I didn’t know whether to drink it or start dunking a buttered bread roll into it. Every Saturday the Ljubljana city has a tradition where they put a ‘dishonest baker’ into a bucket before lowering him over a bridge and dunking him in the river – a bit much for not washing your hands after the khazi before going to handle food I must say. Then we saw one of those Sausage Dogs that was massive, a proper freak as far as Sausage Dogs go. A Jumbo Sausage Dog I called it.
So far I've eaten three. Whilst my penis hasn't grown any larger fuck me I can't half run fast!
On one of the days after walking around and doing other such exhausting activities I suddenly became aware I was quite hungry, so hungry in fact that I could eat a horse. So I did. A horse burger it was and it was fucking massive. Then I had a thought: can eating horse affect my genes in any way? So far I’ve eaten 3 of the burgers and whilst my penis remains the same size, fuck me can I run fast.
Beware of Suicide bombers maybe? Answers on a postcard please...
We went to a festival that was going on for a month; the Trnfestival was the name of it. We saw a punk band that couldn’t play punk rock, but to give the singer his due he had looked like he studied DVD’s of the Sex Pistols cos he was proper giving it on stage. After that lot finished the Drum n Bass began where I though the DJ’s were pretty good, but the locals didn’t have a clue what to do with themselves on the dance floor. All in all in was a great music festival and I couldn’t complain, unless it was a Take That reunion tour. Then I’d complain. Right before I threw a grenade into the crowd.
And check this out, Mands and I have only gone and heard about a squat party near the area after chatting with the locals.
A squat party is an illegal rave if you’re pulling that confused look right now. Along with some Irish travellers we met earlier, Paddy and Niamh, we crashed the party that had been consistently raided by the police, we saw people throwing up, friendly people and filthy people, people who look like they’d rip your head off if you stared at them funny. This was a place after my own heart – a real home from home it was. The place was like its own little estate and it was run by artists, a bit like that place I mention in Vilnius, Lithuania but only much much better. It’s called Metelkova and has all these weird and crazy looking sculptures… until they move and you realise you’re staring at the locals.
Ever walked up some stairs only to find there's nothing at the top?
Then we decided to take advantage of a little country and do a road trip around it so we hired a brand new 1995 Skoda with 110000 km on the clock with only one previous owner willing to admit they owned a Skoda.
Once the Skoda emblem was levered off the bonnet with a screwdriver we were soon causing the engine to scream in protest as racing driver Mands sped towards Bled with trusty navigator Fernandel Alonso directing the way. As a result, we soon found ourselves a little lost in a place called Kranj, or better known amongst the Slovenian people as Kranjsterdam due to its tag of being the drug capital of Slovenia. I’m still trying to figure out if I genuinely did get lost or if I ended up there on natural pigeon instinct. We arrived in Bled, which probably is worthy of bragging about being one of the most beautiful places on earth – along with my bedroom. The place has a giant lake, called Lake Bled funnily enough, and in the centre is a small island with a great church built upon it.
A great church at a ridiculous location – probably built by the Irish then. Renting the Skoda 911 super car came with the bargain of sleeping in Hostel Skoda using its 2 makeshift beds. The downers of this place was it were slightly cramped, there was loads of condensation and no kitchen facilities but on the flipside to that was the room was climate controlled and had a great location and view from the window – anywhere we decided to park really. Not to mention the outdoor bath could also be used as Lake Bled, which it was. If you happen to ever pass the area and spot a rubber duck floating in the water grab it for me, it’s mine.
A couple of nights in Bled and we were soon punishing the Skoda’s engine once again as it climbed up into the Alps and at one point reaching an altitude of 1700m.
It was here I swear I saw God standing with his thumb out trying to hitch a ride back down to earth, though we didn’t stop as we never trusted the look of him. We were heading towards a small town called Bovic that specialises in activity sports like rafting, canoeing and all that bollocks. We had booked white water rafting in the morning and fuck me was the water cold. My nuts did their customary disappearing act leaving me a note in my boxers saying they’re heading back to Poland and its 40 degree heat. I couldn’t blame them. Rafting was great and I must admit I looked pretty sexy in a wetsuit, even if nobody else agreed. When rafting we stopped off at one rock known as Manhattan which only 3 of us were willing to jump from. It was 7 metres high, a new Personal Best for me, and once I leapt from the top I freefell for ages, partly cos of the height and party due to me having to stop halfway and ask for directions. The spring water coming from the mountains was really fresh, clean and drinkable – until I snuck away and peed in it a little further upstream that is.
'Bloody hell! I can see God from up here...'
In the afternoon we’d signed our lives away to try and some canyoning which is like free running but in the water. We climbed a mountain for an hour before heading back down in a river jumping from rock to rock, diving into rock pools 8 metres below and sliding down waterfalls. It was proper Indian Jones let me tell you. The finale was to slide down a 12 metre waterfall into the pool below, exciting stuff eh? And I didn’t want to miss a thing so kept my eyes open and watched where I was going to put some memories in the bank. I did, along with a lot on pain as I ended up doing a face plant into the water, and from 12 metres up it fucking hurts I assure you. So my face looked like a tomato, but fuck me was it fun.
On the way back from Bovic we took an 80 km detour from Ljubljana to get to of all things, a donut shop. Some of you who know me wouldn’t be surprised by the. When in Estonia we met Andrej, a Slovenian who first gave us the idea of checking out his country.
Anyroad, he told us about this donut shop, proper famous in Slovenia it’s meant to be and people travel from all around to get some donuts from there. We’ll have some of that we thought and the donuts they served up were bloody massive. And well nice to go with, we were in Homer Heaven with these beauties.
The Slovenian / Italian border plaque - unbolted within 5 minutes and now adorning my bedroom wall...
After a couple of days back in Ljubljana we soon travelled Nova Gorica, a place that shares a border with Italy. The car park had a line running along it with big signs saying ‘Do not cross’ and giving all this legal bollocks.
It was a completely fascinating place for me, cos in the space of 20 seconds I had entered Italy 5 times already, which meant I’ve now been to Slovenia 6 times. The first time I still reckon was best – it’s the blog you’ve just read.
Del splits his time between Slovenia and Italy...