September 24th, 2009 – by: louietravels
THe banana's here are beastly. Like a baby's arm. Not that a baby's arm is beastly but yeah i mean the size. MASSIVE (for a banana). I bought two. I only needed one. Two was too much. The man i bought them from seemed honored that I had chosen to spend 20p on his bananas. They were some good bananas. Jet lag hit me MAJORLY. i was tired, then i was awake and no matter what i tried my eyes would not shut. Well they would shut but i couldn't fall asleep, ya dig. So i stayed up some, eating bananas. It seems easy to gain a smile from the locals, even a laugh. I just have to talk and very soon they will laugh. Maybe it's because I'm strange, maybe. Or maybe i am very humourish (is that a word?). Or maybe they are just good & happy people who like you to feel welcome and will smile & laugh no matter what you say.
I think it's the latter. I like this. On the flip-side, i think it would be verrry hard to know when they are angry at you. ALSO, yesterday a man kindly gave us directions to where our hostel transfer would be. In actuality he gave us directions to the toilet. He had no clue. But he didn't want to dissapoint us with no answer so tried to blag it. It was a convincing blag, until we saw the toilets. I didn't fall asleep until 3.30am, or there abouts. My sleep pattern was so screwed up, I was on the verge of becoming delusional. I felt like i was dreaming while awake. Weird vivid images were exploding thru my mind. Anyhu, work up at 12.30pm the next day! Had breakfast at 2pm. Even the partygoers who got back at 6am were up before us. We left the hostel taking the skyrail to the main river port, which was cool & about 40p, hopped on the first boat we saw and cruised up to the old town.
. The buildings alongside the river were such a contrast. One moment there be shiny skyscrapers & the next old river shacks. The spot we stopped at was mental, by the grand palace & filled with markets selling everything. We slipped through the many stalls & after escaping from a couple trying to persuade us to purchase artwork, the price offered dropped from 2000baht per piece to 100baht in a matter of 10seconds. Palace was closed, but we decided to take a tuk-tuk to three sites, asking specifically NO gems, suits, NOTHING. 5 baht each. Tuk-tuks are the nuts. There are no rules. The driver was friendly and a cool guy but seemed to enjoy winding in & out of incoming traffic instead of the conventional and lawful way of staying on the right side of the road.
It is great whizzing through the streets. Many which were beautiful, although seeing one guy decide he would stop and unload his lunch into a bush wasn't all too pleasant. He appeared to be on drugs though. The tuk-tuk driver dropped us off at the BIG golden buddah & told us to take our time (which we did). The street was awesome. Chock-a-block with locals, stray animals, excited children setting up fire crackers and market stalls. A homeless guy with one leg begged at the entrance & a women with few teeth sat trying to sell small cages containing three little birds (90baht each) to set free in the temple for good luck. We shortly found out that those birds aren't all to clever and end up as a free lunch for the stray cats which are all over the place.
The Golden Buddah is as they say, BIG and they appeared to be painting its toenails or something. A dog didn't care too much for the temple and took a piss carefree infront of us. We left and funny enough were taken to 5 different stops where we were told if we spent one minute in, the driver would get a coupon for gasoline. The funny & silly thing about EVERY suit,gem,jewelery,souvenir shop is that the of staff is HUGE. The suit shop had not one customer but about 15 workers, sitting around doing fack all. This took up 10-15minutes of our time, BUT we got the ride free :) Our last stop was the Golden Mount which is a mount, that is golden. You walk up these winding steps in a secluded area between trees to get to the top where you sees monks and get cool views of Bangkok.
The driver took us to the nearest boat port, but we were held up for 5minutes at a junction while we waited for the Prince to drive through. The roads had been blocked and I kid you not, about 10 red BMW's, 10 police cars, 10 police bikes & 5 Mercedes with their flags fluttering passed through. The boat ride back was lush as it was dusk and night fell so the city lights were glittering & it was real atmospheric especially with the dark thunder clouds in the skyline. We decided to venture to Patpong road, home of the famous ping pong show. I found out that it was...unfortunately. Basically it involves women performing incredible tricks with a particular instrument (to put it lightly) We were ambushed multiple times by Thai's saying anything from "ahh pretty girls, no bikini, you like?" to "supreme p*ssy only 100baht".
Some were so persistent I wanted to backhand them but i just smiled & saying "no i have a girl" actually worked twice. But they were offering services to men who were with their partners! I saw quite the few overweight middle aged westerns with young Thai girls. I wonder if their wives know. We decided on a basic spot for dinner & i had duck noodle soup & bottle of water for 1pound. The food is amazing. SO, we thought why not go check out a ping-pong show? Shameful. I wasn't too keen & had heard a lot about being forced to pay crazy amounts once inside but we risked it. So, it was interesting. The girls weren't the best looking. They looked like Veterans & i have a flatter stomach than most of them. Many walks of life came through that door, all interested in what a ping pong show entailed (funnily no locals, crazy eh?) It was really weird.
Long ropes appeared. Darts were fired. Balloons were popped. We got one drink. We were told 100baht. A lady approached us after 20minutes: "hello, you come pay then you carry on watching" The bill was shown. 3500 is a wee bit more 100. Now, trying to tell her NO was interesting. She turned from nice to bitch in seconds. She poked and pinched me (not playfully) said "F*ck You" and we left, 100baht poorer. It was worth it. Never again though. That's done and dusted.