I am married to a TravHater

Dunkirk Travel Blog

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Alright, it's time for a confession. Or two. I married the love of my life, the one man I wanted to grow old with. That didn't change in the 24 years of our marriage. (Well, not drastically anyway!) But there is this one important thing about him, I didn't realize when we were getting married: he hates travelling.
Indeed, you Travbuddies might look at those words like your eyeballs are falling out. But yes, those people do exist.  And no, I'm not exaggerating. And yes, I'm married with one so I should know. Me, the one always dreaming of going of somewhere exotic. Starting to plan the next trip the day I return from the last. I mean, who does not get energy from planning the next trip, right? But that is not all. He is really afraid of flying. And it's not the kind of fear that will make you rip the arm of your seat or turn the hand of the one next to you to mush.  No, this fear needs to be medicated with Temazepam. Preferably combined with a lot of alcohol. And even then, after a week at the destination, he will start to throw up because his stomach just can't stand the fact his brain is thinking about the only possible way to get home. Indeed, this is called Fear!

Now, obviously you will find some fault in my reasoning, naturally there are worse things to imagine, but I feel there is something genuinely sad about growing old with someone without truly sharing places, meeting new people and enjoying new places. Maybe a walk through a city park, or a sandy beach, relaxing on a terrace with a nice cold drink. So, we worked our way around the edges. We sometimes take the car to Paris. Or Antwerp. Because he understands my wish to travel, (scratch that, my need for travel), he tries. He really puts an effort in it. So this year we went to England. No flying involved, the distance could be made by car and if it got really bad, we would be home in a day travel.

To make him feel he had a choice we did not book any hotels after the first two nights and bought a oneway ticket for the ferry. We'd learned from our trip to Italy during which he had a fit in a hotel we had booked for 5 consecutive nights. It was a very expensive hotel to get infected by homesickness*. So, we didn't plan anything more than our aproximate destinations and things to see.

*Some note on Homesickness: The Oxford English Dictionary describes homesickness as a feeling one has when missing home. Homesickness frequently occurs when one travels and may be exacerbated by unfamiliar environments or foreign cultural contexts. Feelings associated with Homesickness are anxiety, depression, sadness, and withdrawal. These symptoms may range from mild to severe. An immediate remedy for homesickness is to return home.

nicolecarp says:
I do understand your pain, maybe not as much BUT the first thing my boyfriend thinks of when wanting to go somewhere is how long it will take to get there. When we flew from New York back to Vegas his self medicated slumber faltered when he thought we were almost home and it had only been 10 minutes. His issue is that he is a tall guy who is born big boned and isn't comfy in the tiny seats for too long.

I suppose we have to appreciate the effort though =)
Posted on: Jul 31, 2009
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