Prague Travel Blog

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shit,its been so long its hard to remember what Ive done, where i have been and who I have met but fuck it here goes.

Busabout Pick us up in berlin where funnily i ran into Fae and hannah. They were shocked to see me as last time they did i was in Bruges
and heading to paris. Actually the last time i saw them was at the beach in Bruges, where we were supposed to meet them back there after
getting beer and after they had got some jumpers. Instead we went to another bar and ignored te fact they would be waiting for us.
Anyway i digress. We stopped for fucking ages at a concentration camp which i had no interest in going to because i went to
sachsonhaus. Not only that i only had my sentimental 2 euro on me, which even if i would spend it, wouldnt cover the cost.

Once we got back on the bus after an hour and  half of sitting doing nothing waiting for other people to come back from a "40 minute" tour
the bitch didnt put anger management back on which was the only enjoyment i had on the entire trip. when i got to plus prague, at last,
the first thing i did was look for a cash point having dropped my bags off. I felt so ill from having lack of food for the entire day,
switching currencies made it difficult to afford anything due to the lack of new money. I got out like 2500 which seemed ridiculous but
in reality is only like 100 euro.

Once the room and formalities were sorted i did the only thing i know how, and headed for the bar. i ran into kellie from the bus
there who upon first meeting me over heard me saying a very inappropriate comment involving rape so as to make sure noone would sit next to me
on the bus. We jested for a bit and in all fairness it was just a laugh. I sat there drinking with a load of guys and just having
a good time. It took a while to remember how hungry i had been when i got off the bus so i grabbed a pizza. Was pretty good
and went down very quickly. I sat chatting with random new people whos names by now i have forgotten and eventually one by one everyone
else went to bed apart from me and Brad (we hung out with two asian doctors from america and i tell you now, they had some messed up stories).
We decided to chat to some girls at sa table over from us and pull out the charm. this ended up in Everyone going to bed, including brad apart
from me and two other girls. One from NZ and the other from south africa. No matter how much i protested (very little) i was dragged out.
We went to the krossbar which is a club down the road made of big metalic parts and pistons and shit. Very cool. very very cool.
We sat there once the bar at the hostel had closed and just got smashed. Some scottish lads joined us and i didnt end up leaving until half 5am.

That's just the begining. I slept in pretty late but the following day, or the same day depending how you look at it i just chilled out
in the hostel, hit up facebook etc. Me and kellie had a really interesting conversation about food and very almost went for a pre dinner
dinner at like 5pm. Instead we went outside and got the beers in. Brad joined us as we had planned to go out together that night into town.
We also made friends with a really cool Oz couple. I did the usual banter and pulled out my unlimited wit and charm as i often do,
got a few laughs and some odd photos involving a tray, and a rubber duck with a penis. Go figure. One of the other guys had thought it
would be real funny to stick some of his pubes onto the balls of the duck with sun tan lotion. Needless to say it looked lovely.
We headed out to dinner together, Me, Brad, Kel and the couple whos names escape me. We ate likes kings and paid as though it was nothing.
i had 800g of ribs, awesome ribs i might add, and a pint and paid 6 euro roughly translated.

Once the ribs were down we strolled back to the hostel, big grins on mine and the other guys face who'd had ribs. More banter was spewed
and i swas complemented once more for my comic genius and was told i should be on a stage. Ego trip, Ego trip, Ego trip.
We sat in the hostel for a few more hours and chilled out, drinking beer having a laugh but i just was not anywhere near enough drunk.
Everyone else had been playing drinking games and i had been stuffing myself full of meat. Food meat, dont make sick jokes, honestly how childish.
:P . Luckily brad had bought vodka and decided to share so by the time we left, we were rather merry.
We worked the trams some how and got to the old town square. it was only me and brad and we had decided to go to the 5 story night
club since its what all the tourists seem to do. We got there and yeh it was pretty cool, but nothing that special. Alot of the music
was some croatian shit and the place was full of people with odd languages. Me and Brad were on the prowl and got shot down and
knocked back countless times. Eventually i was almost raped by an 18 year old scandanavian girl who in all fairness had no idea what she was doing.
Terrible kisser and kept giving me some kind of a wedgy??? freak. so i lowed her off and ran away looking for brad in floods of tears. The tears
were emotional ones not literal physical salty tears. We spent a further while trying to hook up with randoms, and did some awesome
dancing on the 70's and 80's floor. Was funny as. after a long time doing the completely wrong kind of dancing and annoying some french people
as i do so well we left and went back up a floor. Immediately brad went crazy and just grabbed a girl to dance with. It worked and i left
him to it, heading back to the 70s floor to annoy the french people some more with my bad dancing. I was there for an age and once the place was clearing
i went and looked for brad. Found him on a sofa on one of the floors fondling the nice young lady. We were told we had to leave at this point
as it was closing. Checking the time it was once again 5am. The only reason we easily got a tram (once brad had been rejected by the foreign chick sexually)
was because the morning trams had started and the night ones had stopped. Brad stopped for a piss on the way to the tram stop
and we got a very funny view of a man taking a shit in the park, then wiping up with some toilett paper; he came prepared.

Again a late wake up and i heard a very funny conversation breaking out in my room between two english lads aged 20, talking about the 15 year old
school girls they pulled last night. i had to ask and joined in the conversation naturally. the three of us it it off and ended up  heading out to
the old town for a day of walking round and drinking before they had to leave that evening. It was nice to meet some english as the humour
becomes very sadistic and very very messed up. Alot of fun and needs to be done. I wouldnt dare repeat a single sentence uttered by us
that day on here. Alot of it was due to the fact they pulled 15 year olds the dirty sods.

Once we got back to the hostel we parted ways so they could leave and i could go to the little boys room. Following my exscurtion (up yours spelling)
i went to the bar of the hostel where i found Kel dog and her friends who had just arrived from dresdan on the happy happy busabout.
Decent guys but i held off with the banter right away. I told kel i was having a quite one and she said no your not were going on a pub crawl.
after a bit of a struggle i gave in and went and got the bears in. Here was the first time i met some of the coolest people ever. one of which
is sparko asleep in front of me as i write this on the bus. we sat round with all the banter and laughs coming out and i immediately seemed to
fit the group though i think i hit it off with Ell and Keldog the best to start with. We headed out about 8 30pm to old town square
to join the pub crawl recomended by the free walking tour. I met the guys at the tram stop because i wanted to walk Fae (yum) to the restaurant
so i could see her off. She was one of the other awesome people that i really got on with. I felt there was something there however it was probably
my own Ego mixed with wishful thinking. I can pretend. once we got to old town we sought out the pub crawl reccomeended, and it looked shit.
there was liek 8 people and a really agressive american guy trying to find more. We decided to go find out about other crawls and each
time we did he would Bee line it to us and go mental at the other pub crawl guys. The funniest line was "fuck off back to your bakery man,
This is my square, fuck off back to your fucking bakery" in his stupid aggressive voice. Once he started leading us to the pub we veered off right and went
with a different group. He went mental. Was livid, but was very funny to look at. The pub crawl was very fun and i ended up drinking alot.
Because we left that group and got to the crawl late our little group stayed behind at the end and had the bar to ourself with
unlimited shots of absynth and vodka for an extra 20 minutes. We got trashed then was led to the next bar. This is where the aggression started.
This german prick was being a completel knob to everyone. I had one of the t shirts of the pub crawl on thanks to Ell the lovely lass and my
blue flanny over the top. in the next bar is where the fun began. PEople thought i worked for the crawl because of the shirt and naturally
i played up to it. noone questioned me it was awesome. the power the POWER. Later the german guy was a cock to Ell and threw a box of fags at her head
and called her stupid and stuff to which my scottish friend from earlier in the week who happened to be the crawl butted in and
had to be seperated by soem big american guy, who coincidently was also a tosser. I went over to a guy and a girl who were chatting because
the girl was hot and the guy was a knob. we chatted for a bit, found out the situation and then let them be for the time being. Once we got
outside i spoke to the girl some more and took a photo with her. This guy went mental and pushed me into a shop window, i Reered back over to him
within seconds pushed him almost to the floor and started to shout "Calm it down you prick, im doing my job. Either chill out or your off
the crawl" or something along those lines. He immediately apologised and looked quite scared, not only that he looked really stupid.

16:00 07/09/2009 >> just to interject, im on the bus to Vienna and the landscapes are stunning.

Anyway back to the pub crawl. Upon hitting the last place, fights were on the verge of breaking out everywhere. Me and the scot met an irish girl
who the german from earlier had slapped. We got him thrown off the crawl and then stood outside shouting in his face scaring the living shit
out of him. Conviniently he sunndely didnt speak english at all. wanker. it got to 3am and i decided to leave, and so did the other guys.
We walked around for an hour and 50 minutes looking for tram 54. Eventually Ell got out her half a map and me and her foudn our bearings
and got ourselves back to the start whilst dicuissing why no guys can just seem to be her friend rather then try it on.
When we looked round the others had gone, obviously stopped following and hopped in a taxi. Me and ell got the morning tram
from the same place me and Brad had done so the night before, which sadly is where we fucking started. The homeless man was still sitting in
the bus shelter. Upon returning the others pretended they knew where to go and got the tram, then dale gave in and admitted they got a taxi. lol.

I have left it too long to really remember what we did the next day so my apologies. But that night we had a quiet one in at the bar, which ended up being
getting really drunk and sitting up in reception with elle till 3.30am. which is kind of still getting pissed and stayign up late, not having a quiet night in.

The next evening, after a day in town with Elle, we decided it would be best to do another pub crawl which is always a good idea in my opinion, so we all set off at night and headed to the
Bohemian Baguel bakery, which was where the pub crawl began. Two of the other english girls taught us a new drinkign game in which you would do some weird clap
combination then do a sexual action. Naturally the uncordinated guys of the group couldnt do it. I think this is due to more of the fact we were sat with
5 or 6 very hot girls all doing sexual actions such as Jizz face and grabbing their boobs. We ended up sitting back with our camera's out like any decent red
blooded male would do.
The rest of the night consisted of going to mediocre clubs and what not which weren't really that worth it. The hour of power at the bakery was barely enough to get
me tipsy which didnt help. By the third place i was fairly drunk though which is always good! In the 4th place which also turned out to be the last, load of crap, was
alright but nothing special. We all started hitting bottles and making everyones beers go everywhere. When it was done to me, my brilliance kicked in
and i tipped my head back and in a very flash dance style covered myself in beer. Yay!
Once covered in beer, all sticky i somehow managed to find a big bowl full of fruit salad? The following day when i showed the photo of me holding the ladel
they all found it hillerious, questioning where the hell i had found it. i think that was probably the high light for me.
I was forced into a taxi which i didn't pay for and headed back to the hostel. A few people were considering waiting a couple hours untill breakfast
again, but for once i decided to just go to bed.

Awaking in the mid afternoon once again -.- i wandered down to the bar. Me and elle went for another stroll into town i believe for starbucks! we bought prague bracelets
but i think that might have been the day before? im not really sure. We hung out and then she mentioned her room mates were going on another pub crawl
that night. It would have been criminal not to have gone on a pub crawl with the gnlish guys from her room and show them a good time. So once again that evening
i headed out with the intention of stumbling from bar to bar, with a stupid grin on my face and dancing on tables! Before we left some fat twatish american
guy was trying to roudn people up to go on the undergroudn crawl that we had done the night before. He almost got the other english guys to go
but me and Elle interjected and stopped them, making sure they came with us on the much better one we had done. It was a bloody amazing night,
drinkign partying dancing raving, until we got to the five story night club. I wandered off as i so often do once into a club and hung out on the
70's 80's floor singing and dancing like a briefcase mong. Walking up another floor i got to the top and accidently stood on the back of some croation? guys
shoe. He turned round and went mental at me, which was not neccisary, so i stuck my fingers up at him. I have to say he could have responded to this better,
however he decided to hit me in the face and judging from the lump it left me, he may have been holding a bottle. Without really thinking i threw my head forward
and felt my forhead hitting his nose. One thing led to another and i remember leaving fairly sharpish, with him on the floor with a popped nose.
When i found Elle i had a huge lump on the side of my face and a small cut where i had been hit. We decided to leave. I almost got into a fight with
some other english wankers because they were being dicks to me and i was in a bad mood from being punched. Luckily Elle wrapped herself round me so as
to be in the way of any incoming punches and told the guys to just leave. God love her.

The next day the swelling had gone down tremendously and there was no bruise. I put this down to Elles cold hands and anticeptic cream she got from reception. That
and the fact he must of just smashed me in the cheek bone avoiding bruising my eye. It was very late in the day by the time Elle got up and she joined me in reception for a bit
after putting her washing on. By the time she had finished washing and sorting herself out it was probably half 5 and we headed to town to get starbucks and baguels
from bohemian baguels so we could get our free T shirts! from the underground pub crawl we had done earlier in the week (the shit one). The baguel was amazing
and i couldnt afford a starbucks haha. We sat in the square for a bit just people watching and chatting then laura called and asked if we wanted them to wait
there for us to come back and then go out together or if we were going to stay in town. Elle wanted to get changed, as any female would have done so we said
we would be back in 20 minutes tops, and headed to the tram. We got the 14 which had stopped outside our hostel when we caught it a few days earlier.
This time it did not and we ended up going a different way. We hopped off a stop too late and had to catch another 14 back the other way.
When i got off at the right stop i turned round to see the door had almost caught my leg and i looked into Elles face through the glass of the shut door. She smiled
and i laughed as the tram pulled away and she waved. I waited at the stop for her to come back and then we walked to the hostel. The guys had already
left but Laura and Tash were waiting. Elle got changed and we set out. The night was amazing, we hung out in the zombie bar, which we had pretty much to
ourselves once the awful local karioke singers left. We spent the night drinking, singing and dancing whilst controlling the music until closing time at 3.
We stayed out all night until like 6 and when we got to the hostel i gathered my stuff and sat in reception uploading photos to facebook.
I passed out for half and hour and awoke to an alarm i had set at 7 15. Luckily none of my things had been taken and i headed to the restaurant for a cup of T.
I felt like shit and pretty much spent the trip to Vienna passed out at the back of the bus with Elle. Horrible, horrible bus journey.

Thats about it for prague! x


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