Push me Pull you
Melbourne Travel Blog› entry 2 of 47 › view all entries
Was I being pushed or pulled?
Have you ever woken up on a Monday morning and wished that you could turn back the clock 12 hours, or felt so sick in the stomach that you don't know how you will get through another day at work? My contract at 'the telco' was not a role I am suited to. It is a role more suited to someone wearing a navy blue suit, who leaves their integrity at home in the morning and spends the rest of the day acting from a place of 'fear'.
In the corporate world this translates to 'ass covering'. Why would you telephone someone (or heaven forbid meet face to face) to discuss a problem (please don't make me say 'challenge') when you could send an email instead. Make sure you copy to about 12 people and create an email string of 10 more emails (now that multiplies to 120 emails in total) - a perfect ass-covering tactic! I just don't understand it. When did common sense become so uncommon? When did we stop being kind at work? When did 'micro-managing' become the norm? When did it become OK to bully staff and get away with it because they are 'contractors'?
Phew - now I have that off my chest, I can explain the 'Push Me' bit. My contract was so miserable that it made me realise I could never return to the corporate world. I had literally created the perfect scenario to push me to Spain. I am very clever like that. The bigger the pain, the sweeter the result. I continued to struggle with getting up every day and showing up but now there was a wonderful Pull to consider - my new life in a new counrty.
As a Project Manager, the planning stage is actually quite exciting. My friend, Paul says that I can project manage a garage sale! So many things to think about but if you break it down (gotta love Mind Mapping) it is really just like a pilgrimage - one foot after another. The house needed renting, I had to sell nearly everything I owned, that dodgy knee needed an operation, I had to close down my company and do 'accountant' stuff, my beautiful cats needed to be cared for, I had to decide where I was going to live, what I was going to do for money in Spain, when I was going to leave and I had to TELL EVERYONE!
The actual process of telling everyone is wonderful. It becomes the cement that holds the dream in place. I find the more you 'ground' an idea by writing and talking about it, the more it becomes real. My friends and family are beautiful. Everyone I have spoken to is so supportive: 'you are so brave' 'I wish I could do that' 'I will live through your story' 'aren't you scared' 'you are doing what you need to be doing' 'I am so proud of you'.
The Pull is getting stronger and the Push is a more of a nudge now. The days left at 'the telco' are manageable and the flight has been booked. I am feeling so content with the occasional moment of panic. I am sure it is normal.
Be awake to the 'Pulls' and the 'Pushes' - they could be sending YOU in a different direction.