Patong Beach, Phuket - Is this the seediest place in Thailand?
Phuket Travel Blog› entry 20 of 68 › view all entries
I remember coming to Patong Beach about 8 years ago. So when the opportunity came to meet up again with some Americans and Aussies friends I made, I was like sure why not, down south is always fun! Soon upon arriving in the Patong Beach area, I realized why I haven’t visited this place again in the many times I‘ve been to Thailand since. I think I must have blocked out the memory of this place. This place is disgusting!
Men with Thai women EVERYWHERE
Men with Thai men EVERYWHERE
Men with Thai ladyboys EVERYWHERE
No I don’t want a f-cking massage or a suit or a tuk tuk! This place is like a cornucopia of Asian ass for old greasy white men, brown men, Arabic men, young men, you name it, that dude is here somewhere with a Thai woman, Thai man or Thai ladyboy on his arm, walking the streets like this place is some “I got yellow fever and I want to flaunt it” theme park! Sawadee kaaaaaaa, sir, do you want a massage (all said in unison from at least 4-5 Thai women)? F-ck NO!
If its not a massage, then you got some scrawny little Indian man saying “hey my friend, you want a suit, Armani? Yaar, come take a look” No bhenchod, I don’t want to take a look!
Funny I never realized how many “friends” I had in Thailand till I came to Patong! Everybody was my “friend”.
Ladyboy?! I know you’re asking, what’s that?! Well I remember the first time I came to Thailand years back, I was greeted at the front desk of my hotel by one, his name was Boonchu and he/she was the most feminine man I’d ever seen (to that point). He was full-out in a pink pantsuit and had the highest voice I’d heard (to that point). He was definitely a ladyboy. A ladyboy is a transvestite.
Outside of Thailand transvestites are usually very masculine looking and you can tell they are/were guys, but in Thailand, I honestly can say you would never know if a ladyboy or a woman just walked in front of you. Some of the most beautiful Asian girls I’ve seen, in full-out bikinis sometimes, were actually ladyboys! NO JOKE. DEAD SERIOUS. I think it’s the slim Asian bodies that allows for the usual distinctions between man and women, women and transvestite to blur.
Wow this place sounds nuts doesn’t it! Well it is! J But even in all this craziness, I did have fun strolling the beaches, shopping, and especially had fun on my last night in town. One of the Aussies, Mel, had her 29th birthday (again) that day. So me, Joey and her went out for a nice seafood dinner and then after dinner ended up on one of the bar alleys off Bangla road, the main area in town.
That first stop had us playing big Jenga with a Thai gansta covered in tattoos and at least 2 ladyboys, I think! What’s “big” jenga? Well it’s the same as your favourite game of Jenga back home, but with mega blocks! Next game we played was what I can only call “hammering nail into piece of wood”.
Next stop was the Coyote Bar, run by a Norwegian guy named Freddie. Freddie had a Mohawk. As the night went on, I learnt about what Patong really was and how it worked. I asked him why do you see so many foreigners here with Thai woman? Simple he said, cheap p-ssy! Where else could an ugly, old white guy get a young lady of his choice to sleep with him? Thailand of course! Not only do these girls sleep with them, they act like they are their girlfriends for as long as the guy will pay for.
So why is prostitution so prevalent here? Mainly because minimum wage is about 160 bhat a day (about $5 CDN). What does a Thai lady, ladyboy, or gay man charge, well Freddie said the price varies, but I’ve heard about 1500 bhat an hour and I‘m sure varies with the amount of time you spend with them. Considering that’s at least 10x the minimum wage, you can see why the sex trade is such big business here in Thailand.
Anyways, that rest of that night was full of people watching. We watched how guys would walk down the street (most thinking they were the sh-t) as beautiful Thai women approached them from every angle, asking them what they wanted, trying to get drinks bought for them, trying to draw up business.
So back to the title of my blog. So is Patong Beach the seediest place in Thailand? Well actually NO it isn’t! Pattaya is the sex capital of Thailand. Patong Beach is one road, Bangla Road, with a few alleyways with bars and go-go bars. Pattaya on the other hand, I’ve been told, is multiple roads and crossroads, all with bars, go-go bars, ping-pong shows, foreign men, ladyboys, prostitutes, massage spots and I’m sure scrawny Indian dudes asking to make you a suit! WTF! And here I thought Patong was seediest place in Thailand J