A penis shaped pool .... need i say more? ok how about a sex doll with no orifices and a mankini?

Gran Canaria Travel Blog

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The short 4 and a half hour trip from Gatwick to Gran Canaria went by seemlessly with very little problems. The Thomas Cook flight went without a hitch and we arrived in Spain at around 11pm then taking a coach to our place of residence which was only 45 minutes long, yet however breezed by as myself and a friend of a friend began to chat about the holiday to come; what we were all expecting, what we did in England. the full 45 minutes slipped into a gap where i was amusing myself asking random questions to a person i had really only just met through a uni mate, it seemed he worked at H. Samuels the jewellers and rather deliberately began to broach the subject of seelling me watch insurance. I with experience of selling insurance for retail products, humoured him and quizzed his general knowledge on the subject. It was about 10 minutes into the subject, we both discovered we were enjoying the random topic of conversation as an ice breaker as well as deriving genuine humour from the continuous reptition of asking the same questions in different ways progressing to just pretending to ignore the answer he had previously gave.

So it was we arrived at our destination of Barbados Apartments, Playa del Ingles (apparently meaning a direct translation of "The English Beach") in high moods at around midnight. We had arrived almost just in time as we were the only English speaking people who were checking in at the time - a group of 30 or so portuguese young people were also checking in, we were almost suffocated by the language barrier that surrounded us but took solace in the fact we would be soon drinking our livers into oblivion. 3 people to an apartment seemed like a good amount of space between everyone as it would eventually turn out the holiday would have its shares of arguments. Lucky guy that i was that my apartment however just happened to stink of something that could only be considered as almost pure evil, but what we smelt that first time was nothing compared to what each of us would do to the toliet in turn. For the people reading this for information, a single apartment held : one tv with half decent reception - only a few english channels and a coin operated power connector, two rooms that held two single beds with average sized wardrobe to share, a fully equipped basic set up of a kitchen that we never used - no not even the toaster or microwave, a fair sized balcony over looking a penis shaped pool - yes it is actually shaped like a penis, and some stools, plastic chairs and a couch that can be extended for sleeping purposes.

10 minutes was all we needed to refresh ourselves and stash our crap around the bedrooms (arent we guys so organised lol?) we headed straight out for the first drinking establishment we could find, we didnt have to look far. Life is never without a certain amount of irony when the first place we went to just happens to be an English owned bar, and what was my first experience in spain, yep it was an English strongbow (Cider). Score one for the adventurous me. Just to advise anyone going on holiday or going somewhere new, always ask prices, four euros for one pint it was and much to my surprise that was about the average price for a drink that wasnt local, so i took a gulp of alcohol along with my admonishment of the price.

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Gran Canaria
photo by: EmyG