The Tarantino Effect: Start at the end of the story and go backwards.
"Oh Fuck!!! Najiah you've broken it!"
Lets go back; lets go back.
Earlier in the day
It's so difficult to decipher the time when your room has no windows so we both woke a touch confused, but in plenty of time to get some brunch and get to the airport. Without any problems whatsoever, we checked in and made our way to departure gate 34. The sign was reading something about going to a different gate though, so we went in that direction instead and took a seat. It was a bit strange to say the best with the lack of any great number of passengers, and it wasn't long before all was explained over the tannoy "Mr Matthew H******* and Miss Najiah N**** to depart gate 34.
The plane is due to depart". Oh ok, so we set off backtracking, almost ambling I suppose until the tannoy announced "Final call for Mr Matthew H******n and Miss Najiah N****h (privacy settings now altered on request - though I do accept the hypocracy from the title) to gate 34. The plane is departing". SHIT!!! We upped the pace ten-fold, but got there for the plane. It felt so embarrassing boarding the plane with everyone else sat down waiting patiently. I have no-one else to blame but Naj.
Two of my favourite Filipinas
The plane set off for Caticlan and landed smoothly. JeAr and Abu had made some suggestions about where to stay in Boracay. The beach is set out into three stations all varying in quality.
We chose the mid-range station two and tried to find a place. A women stopped us and offered to stay at her hotel, so we took a quick look and held it as a back up option. Sarj had recommended another hotel where she had stayed before and we were pretty adamant on finding it, so the lady took us there too so we could have a look. It turned out to be more expensive, not quite as nice, and its location wasn't as close to the beach. We returned with the lady and chose to stay at the first place as she had offered us a room with a sea view for the second night. This would mean swapping rooms after a night though, and that turned out to be a God send!
I've got another TB friend called Audrey who I'd met way back in Chesterfield at my first meet up (where I met Wayne, Steph, and Marc for the first time as well). She isn't as active on TB anymore, but we've all kept in touch.
We'd missed her in Manila, but she was going to Boracay as well, so we'd arranged to meet up that night at Juice Bar. Me and Najiah set off pretty early so we could find the bar (we actually didn't and went to a bar on the way) and see what all the fuss was about with Red Horse beers (a strong local lager) and it was just perfect to sit at a bar, chat a load of whatever, and just relax; almost like a holiday from travelling. We drank a fair few of the beers before we realised how strong that stuff actually is (7% ish I'm not sure, and unsurprisingly the memory brain cells have been irreplaceably killed off).
Audrey actually came along the beach to find us! It was so sweet. I'd not seen her for over a year and I was so pleased to be seeing my friend again after fearing I wouldn't when she moved from London (back to California).
She sat with us whilst we drank the rest of our drinks and told us she was here with her father and brother (Alex) and another friend (Arran). That was cool, we could all hang out and go to Juice bar after all. Ah man, we drank a lot of Red Horse that night and had a lot of fun joking around and getting drunk. There was some kind of post which was supposed to be a prop for the bar roof, but that soon became a makeshift pole for dancing on! Well I say dancing, but if truth be told, there was little dancing in fairness. Naj gave a cuddle more than anything else; I used it to climb like a fireman's pole; but best of all, Audrey charged and fell off. It was hilarious and I think Najiah has it on film. Audrey will never live that down (I'll say no more as she has a video of me and Craigo (a lad from Chesterfield caught on camera as well doing... SHUT UP MATTHEW!).
("Oh Fuck!!! Najiah - you've broken it!" - There you are, back on to the point)
It did eventually get to closing time and myself and Najiah, heavily inebriated, staggered in the direction of the hotel.
We did make it, and also up the stairs to the room. Naj went straight to the toilet, and flopped like a beached whale onto the bed, and slipped slowly into happy land as my eyes slammed shut.
Now this story has two endings, one is true, the other pure fabrication to pass blame:
Now correct me if I'm wrong (whoever knows any of this), but I believe it goes something like: Najiah was being ill in the toilet whilst I went to bed. Najiah comes out of the toilet and climbs into bed, less than 100%, and so playfully, I got up to do a repeat of Manila and jump around..... hmmmm
Whilst I was falling to sleep, Najiah came out of the toilet and clambered towards the bed.
Instead of getting into it, she decided to get onto it and get her own back from Manila, when I woke her via playfully jumping on the bed. With one leg to either side of me, she bounced the bed with a touch too much force, and before you knew it, the bed had gone someway towards folding.
With the plastic limit of the metal frame truly exceeded, and with little more we could do for the night, we slept in an awkward, non-horizontal angle for the night. Luckily the Red Horse hid any signs of discomfort and sleep issues and we passed out without further disruption.
"Oh Fuck!!! Najiah - you've broken it!"