Whatta pisser

San Pedro La Laguna Travel Blog

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Whatta pisser

Where it has ended up costing me $850 in legal fees to have a UIP (Urinating in Public) citation expunged from my permanent record -- thanks to an alert crime fighting police duo working latenight undercover in an empty Charlotte parking garage last spring, and who, ignoring my cordial compliance with their every inquiry and demand, indulged in the powertrip of constantly reminding me, "We can take you to jail right now. Wanna go to jail for the night?" -- in Guatemala any place a man can plant two feet is a public toilet. Everyday I see the phallically-endowed suddenly veer from their paths and, shielded by turned backs, relieve themselves roadside. And yet half the population radiates scorn should I run past barechested.

Keeping with reminiscence, I just had a classic American moment. Not quite eating an entire Trader Joe's frozen carrot cake in one sitting, and certainly not a repeat of representative feat of good ol' American gluttony nonetheless: upping my daily consumption of pastel de coco to two hefty, indeed already Texas-sized, portions. The type of $8 slices dates share after a nice steakhouse dinner, hefted into my to-go back for Q$6 each. It's a heavy cake, literally, with a dense cake portion and sufficient frosting, but not the inch-thick layers necessary to satiate a frosting-fiend like me. The solution: eat all the cake from one slice, leaving an L-shaped surface of frosting, then tip the untouched slice on its side and layer the extra frosting atop, effectively creating a side-and-top iced slice of bliss, a triangularly-cut piece that is frosted like a corner chunk from a rectangular cake. Or, another option I haven't tried -- maybe tomorrow -- is draping the lonely layer of icing directly over the icing of the slice still intact, like an icing-armor upgrade or a vanilla-frosting cape.
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