Dutch Coffee

Amsterdam Travel Blog

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Travel is full of surprises. Some good, some bad. The bad ones make better stories, and allow me to enjoy a moment that was not too enjoyable at the time. Many years ago, when I was a baby traveler I went with my best friend Tom to The Benelux countries. Our first stop was Amsterdam, lovely city of canals, art, and, shall I say, naughty delights. So when in Rome... I mean Holland... and on holiday, one's inhibitions should be left at home. One night we decided to visit one of the city's many coffee houses. Not sure why they are called that, I am not even sure coffee is served at them! To be clear, they sold marijuana in many forms. Now being a good Catholic American citizen, I of course had never ever EVER partaken in that. That would be illegal at home and breaking the law is a sin, so of course I would never ever have experienced the drug.
(Now that that legal disclaimer is out of the way...) When we entered there was quite the variety of blunts, much larger than anything I had smoked before... oops I mean.. seen before (see disclaimer). Only since it was legal to consume the drug within the confines of the coffee house, we decided to pick our poison. Tom picked quite the aromatic blunt. I tried it, but didn't like the smell. Besides something else had caught my eye, dark chocolate hash brownies. So delectable, so chocolatey, so delicious. I had to have another. I decided to wash it down with pot cocoa. That was not good. It wasn't very hot, gritty, and was like drinking grass. I felt like a cow. While Tom had just a mild buzz, I felt nothing. I thought maybe we picked a bad place, even though the atmosphere was chill.
In any case I decided to have one more tasty brownie. When we were done and checked the box off the illicit list, we headed back to our pension. Amsterdam was having an unusual heat wave and our room was very warm. Tom vegged to TV but I felt like I was burning up so I decided to take a quick walk. Once I left the hotel, I started to feel kind of spacey. Kind of like I was floating on the pavement. It occurred to me that maybe I was having a delayed reaction to the brownies. La la la... What? Where the Hell am I? I somehow was nowhere that I recognized. I asked someone where my street was and got a laugh, a question as to what coffee house I was at and then a general direction. I remember thinking I knew where I was and headed back to the hotel. La la la, Dammit! Where the Hell am I now? I now realized that I was spacing out and walking around the city while not really conscious. Stupid me didn't realize that eating pot takes longer and messes you up more, especially when many brownies are eaten. I have a great sense of direction, my superpower really, I knew I could find my way back, but I had to really focus one.. step.. at.. a.. time.. la la la, no focus Keith.. la la.. FOCUS! Somehow I managed to return to the pension. Outside there were these 2 stoned guys trying to get in, but they were using a key to a different pension. They were lost so I gave them detailed directions to their hotel. Funny, I couldn't find my lodging, but I knew exactly where theirs was. Maybe I passed it a million times during my wanderings. When I returned to the room Tom asked me where I was for the last 2 hours. I told him I didn't know where I was, what I did, nor how I got there. He had a second question: why was I drenched? Good question! I hadn't realized I was. I told him perhaps it rained??? To this day he thinks I fell into a canal. I think I might have remembered that... maybe? The next day we had a 6 hour train ride to Luxembourg. I felt like Hell. Didn't know pot hangovers existed, but that's what I had and I wanted to die. The old train did not help matters. Quite hot and not particularly comfortable. (16 years later that train is much better now). We sat next to an Australian couple. Tom went to use the train's rest room and came back with a strange look on his face, with a touch of childish humour. As I was just concentrating on not dying I didn't ask. A few minutes later the Aussie woman went and returned with the same face. Tom and her looked at each other and started laughing. She whispered to her partner what was going on, so as to not be too intrusive I decided to go and see for myself what the Hell was so damn funny! I went in, and while dated it did not look unusual. Then I flushed the toilet. It simply opened a flap and emptied directly on to the tracks! Disgusting! All I could think of was the poor kids in the movie "Stand by Me" who had to avoid all the... human debris while walking along the tracks. Yuck. I mentioned this thought when I got back to my seat and we all just burst out laughing uncontrollably, like a bunch of little kids. For the rest of the ride, EVERYTHING set us off on a laughing stupor. In a sick way, it was the perfect remedy for my pot hangover. I felt like crap and only crap could save me!
stacey72 says:
haha! Great story! :)
Posted on: Aug 14, 2017
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