Wankers and arse water!

Medan Travel Blog

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I woke up slightly earlier than Stacey because something wasn’t feeling quite right,and it was my stomach. I awoke to some grumbling sounds in my lower abdomen and then a few strange but mild pains.Then it sounded like there was a little voice coming from my arsehole , which at the time of thinking felt like a little mouth twitching away saying something to me along the lines of ‘Il teach you to fuck around and have Rendang currys every night for the last 5 nights’.This was to be an ultimate error of mine because that little mouth suddenly became very ill.

I jumped up as quick as I could and rushed to the bathroom and in about two short but explosive seconds my bowels emptied a horrendous gush of what I can only describe as brown ass water or an arse piss.The only other problem was that I had been having a lot of spicy food over the last few days so this also had a certain kick to it.I sat on the toilet for the next ten minutes wiping the sweart from my brow and waiting for a relapse or follow through of some sort but nothing came.I managed to bring myself to my feet and get changed before realizing that I had a 5 hour minibus ride ahead of me then a 12 hour night bus through sumatras ‘excellent’ road system.

This I was not looking forward to this at all,it took me a while to pull myself together and make my way to the restaurant and think of something to eat to maybe make me feel better.After some kind suggestions from some friends I decided on plain rice and a cup of tea.They didn’t make me feel better or worse,I was just annoyed because they both tasted like shit.

I sat there feeling sorry for myself and also slighty alert and aware of my escape route should my body decide to punish me further.Luckily it didn’t but I was feeling rather weak and I was trying to decide on whether or not to leave that day.I decided I would at least try and bunged myself up with Imodium which incidently would then have the complete opposite effect on me over the next few days.

We headed to our air-conditioned taxi for the journey to Medan with Jaako,Jenna,Tiia and another slightly strange finnish guy who let some random Indonesian man feel him up at a food shop during the trip and we were about to set off when we realized there wouldn’t be enough room in the jeep.

There were 6 of us in total and the car had 8 seats but a small boot,the boot didn’t fit all of our backpacks so one of the back seats had to be put down to accommodate them.

Then we realized that apparently we would need two drivers to take us the 5 hours to Medan,and that we would somehow have to fit 6 westerners into 5 seats.Now any Indonesian will tell you this is normal and perfectly fine in Sumatra,however what they don’t realise is that we arent as small as them and we didn’t pay twice the price to be cramped the whole journey,otherwise we would have got the public bus.

We told the driver this and said that only one driver was needed so we could all fit in the car,they moaned and then we realized that it would be two drivers but they were giving their mate a lift to Medan and we were basically paying for his free ride.This pissed me off. We told them to fuck off and the guy in charge asked us to pay an extra 10,000 each so they wouldn’t take their mate.Now this is what repeatedly annoys me in South east asia, some of the people in the tourism business seem to think that western backpackers are thick as shit and they can throw a ludicrous idea at us and we would go for it.After me getting more annoyed I took a step back and let the fins ask for our money back or they sort it.They did and their mate had to pay to get the public bus.Its so easy to do but in Sumatra people tend to make easy things hard work and try to blame you for their seemingly inept ability to perform a simple task like this.

The journey itself was simple for the driver,take three of the finns to the airport,one to a guesthouse and me and Stacey to the bus station we wanted to go to.Logically he would of taken me and Stacey to bus station just outside of town first,but he didn’t and he took the finn to his guesthouse then the other three to the airport and was then surprised when we asked to go to Pinang Baris bus terminal which we clearly stated and was agreed upon before departure.

He agreed to take us and attempted to drop us off at what he claimed to be Pinang baris station but was just a travel agents,these travel agents would become the bane of my existence in south east asia. I told him I knew this wasn’t the main bus station as I knew it was 12 km out of town and it was an actual fucking bus station. He phoned his boss(the tosser who tried to extort more money out of us earlier) who them moaned that it was out of his drivers way,I said that I didn’t fucking care as we were paying him to take us there and it wasn’t out his way.Then the dickhead said to me if we paid an extra 10,000 each he would take us there.My blood was boiling,not only were we already paying over the odds to go somewhere this tosspot consistently was trying to get more cash our of us.

I agreed to pay the extra cash once we got to the station knowing we wouldn’t get anywhere without doing so,and also knowing that it was getting dark and Medan as far as im concerned was still the current arsehole of the universe and nothing had changed.So he drove about 2 minutes down the road to a dodgy bus terminal which I still knew wasn’t Pinang baris but the driver insisted(he may aswell insisted t fucking punch him aswell,because I knew he was talking shit to me which in my current ill and wound up state wasn’t a wise idea).I got out and told Stacey to wait whilst I found out if buses went to Banda Ache,they did and they weren’t too bad so I got my bags out the car and walked off.Leaving Stacey to deal with the driver,as I left the car I told him he was a lying cunt and I secretly hoped he crashed the car on the way back.He then asked Stacey to pay him the money I lied I would pay for the “detour” he had to make to take us to the bus station we wanted to go to in the first place.And still hadn’t actually taken us there, he was lucky it was Stacey who just informed him we knew he hadn’t taken us where we wanted to go.Had he done this to me I would of definitely lost my temper and lamped him.

Luckily this was all over now and after listening to Stacey moan to me about eating,like she always does just like clockwork when her body tells her she needs to eat,regardless of whether or not I want to,I was ready for the night bus to Banda Ache where I hoped for some sleep.

We boarded the night bus for Banda Ache,where according to the foreign office we weren’t allowed to go to.Well they can get fucked. I got on the bus and tried my best to get comfortable in the tiny seats made for Asians.My body just about fit but I kept feeling like Gulliver and south east asia being my lilliput.

The bus left and within minutes I was surprisingly relaxed,and then some wanker with a guitar came on and us being the only westerners on board came straight to my ear and continued playing his awful drivel and thinking I would like it.Well I didn’t,he then had the cheek to ask me for money.

During the night I would have more annoying disturbances, one being a guy waking me up at 3am telling me I could get some dinner or something. I felt like punching him to,never wake a sleeping man.I didn’t want to eat at 3am whilst I was catching one of the two hours sleep I would manage to get that night.Tosser. And then around 4 am a blind muslim man got on the bus singing some Islamic song,which in the day time I would of liked and appreciated abit more.But it wasn’t day time,I wasn’t muslim and I didn’t appreciate being woken up to a guy stood in my ear moaning like a whore. Struth!

tomhez says:
In Medan with a questionable stomach. Hilarious post...
Posted on: Jun 04, 2013
justasimsim says:
I have to say you have an awesome trip in Medan :) thanks for the honest of telling all the experience there...and Aceh? Man...you know that even sometimes Indonesian dont want to go there because of lots of trouble...^_^
Posted on: Aug 27, 2009
herman_munster says:
Oh no, that's for sure begging!
Posted on: Jul 05, 2009
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