London to Dehli............
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29th November 2008-11-30
After a near tearful departure with the women I have come to love I sped through security like a man possessed by an alcohol infused, whisky fuelled alcoholic, I truth I needed my Red Breast and I needed it bad! The 12 year old triple distilled Irish beauty is a product of the Jameson’s distillery in Ireland and was the and still is, the only whisky I can truly say I love. But alas it was not to be the ruff and ready London Sikh informed me that they do not stock my brand and that I would have been able to purchase my beloved tipple from ‘Whisky world’ bit unfortunately for me the little shop of lovely’s had gone bust some months back.
Onwards and upwards so they say, I wasn’t going to let a little unavailability spoil my “soon to be conquering the world” mood, oh no, I took the next best thing I could find in “World Duty free” Port.
Armed with my port and a head full of desire I set of to find my Virgin Atlantic flight V300 from Heathrow to Delhi.
Once located I decided that whilst waiting to be called to ‘board the plane’ to have a little sip of my Ruby Port, 1 sip turned to 2, 2 turned to 4 and would u believe it...sitting in the waiting longer of gate 11 in my PJ’s with a Russian hat on I managed to polish no less than a quarter of a bottle of the delicious dark liquid. When my seating section was called I tried my best to walk naturally to the awaiting window of opportunity only to be stopped by a short stubby dwarf of a women requesting my boarding pass....I happily obliged and made my way to 64K my awaiting window seat and my new best friend for the 8 and a half hour duration of the flight. As I began to make myself comfortable I looked up to see the most amazing blue eyed Asian girl any Gorah (White Man) could ever hope to set his peepers on. I introduced myself and she told me she was of American persuasion, California I think and that she is on her way to Delhi to marry her fiancé. ‘Brilliant’ says I and I truly meant it. The little lady who’s name escapes me taught me rather allot about love during our flight and I’d like to think I taught her a few things about trust and faith, none more prominent than during our seemingly endless episode of extreme turbulence right after dinner, holding on to her tray for dear life I explained turbulence to the best of my ability and that this was nothing to worry about and that I had experienced much worse, that coupled with a few interesting statistics seemed to relax her enough to return to her topic of ‘American natural beauty’
By the end of the flight I had made another ‘single serving friend’ so termed due to the fact that like a packet of sugar, u will only see it and use it once.
I was hug over, tired and in much need of rest and a nicotine boost. But as we were landing it slowly began to dawn on me that it was 12:30 local time in Delhi and that I was due to be in India at 11:10 giving me adequate time to pick up my luggage and transit onto my 13:40 flight to Kathmandu but due to a late takeoff I was, for want of a better word, screwed...so what did I do, the only thing a god fearing English man can do....I lied my way to the front of the plane “excuse me, coming through, I need to get to my brother etc etc..” I was let through to the front amidst a lot of grumbling and mooning but still...I last they Let through and that was my saving grace....as I high tailed it down to customs I realised that I was in great danger of missing my connecting flight leaving me stranded in Delhi airport overnight with no visa, no money, no hope...I couldn’t let that fate befall me, no sere not today thank u kindly, using the power of Port I arrived at customs, flagged down a man that looked like he has some sway over the flukys and explained my position in the hope that I would be able to make it to Nepal
“Excuse me sir I am so sorry to bother u but I have come from Heathrow and I need to get on to my connecting flight to Kathmandu, I am donating a kidney to my brother and I need to be there by 4pm local time, can u please please help me, after a quick nod from the passport checking chap Mr. monotone instructed me to wait in a corner for someone from the virgin team who would ‘certainly’ assist me in getting to Kathmandu to donate an organ to my dying brother, and he was right, someone did assist me from Virgin he was in the form of a 16 year old boy named Assar. And Assar assured me that I would ‘most certainly be making it onto flight today’ and with that we walked straight through security and straight up to Indian Airways without any questioning to myself and to be handed a shiny new boarding pass.
In my moment of alienation I nearly forgot about my all important hold luggage bags....’’both bags contain ESSENTIAL items for my trip and gifts for friends’ Assar nodded with understanding ‘I am sorry sir but I do not believe we will be able to retrieve your bags for this flight...I will make sure they are sent on to Kathmandu airport as soon as possible’....after some careful consideration I decided to trust him, even though India is notorious for loosing baggage. I decided to trust him...Assar with the trustworthy face and helpful disposition.
I made the flight to Kathmandu..............