i put myself in this position and i deserve the imposition. i'm burning up?

before boarding my last flight to manila, i asked one of the flight attendants if they can trace my luggage, fortunately they were filipino. the problem was, i was speaking in tagalog and they wanted to converse in english which was totally not appropriate because WE ARE ALL FILIPINOS and to be honest it is better to communicate in one's language to clear everything up. it wasnt any help, because i  was tired and i totally resigned to the fact that my luggage was lost. the head flight attendant kept frowning at me, goodness, i think i dont deserve that. she was the most unfriendly flight attendant i had seen in my life, who does she thinks she was anyway? queen amidala?! and she IS a filipino NOT french.

so i kept my distance from her, before i picture her looking like jar jar binks.

i was separated from the nice filipina i got to know at the check in counter as i was seated beside a snotty chinese with the middle seat empty and i was on the window seat. the take off took forever as the pilot said that air traffic was jammed.  i was listless, but then again, memories came back to haunt me. philippine airlines was the first aircraft i boarded when i was 5 years old with no other less with my mother.

finally were taking off! as were flying, i can see china from the air, it was FANTASTIC, the landscape! in the area around beijing was arid and desert but the mountains were full of snow and in between the mountain ranges are hidden lakes! i swear i will be back in china one day! its a dream landscape for me to roam barefooted.

when the plane was steady, the flight attendants came hurrying and giving each of us a paper to fill out for the customs in the philippines, ive never heard of this thing before. problem was, i dont have any ballpen with me and how would they expect people to carry ballpens all time? its the stupidest thing i had ever encountered. when i asked for the flight attendants if i can borrow a pen, naturally they dont have any. rolls eyes.

now the snotty chinese changed seat with his father because he had to tend his son, the father was mean, cruel, snotty and arrogant looking old chinese, now im really scared.

i think that was the point that, i felt something, i think im gonna faint because i havent ate anything since 5-6 am and it was already 2-3 pm.  it took forever to have our meal, and thank god, that our flight attendant tending us was very nice, she was the only one speaking tagalog to me and i find that good. i had the most delicious cantonese noodles with pork as my meal.  funny, i never thought airplane foods were delicious.

but after a few minutes, i felt something in my head and stomach, im getting dizzy. the long flight, the stress and everything took their toll on me. i was scared to excuse myself from the old mean looking chinese near me to go to the toilet but i have to.

at the toilet, i threw up. i thought i was going to die or lay unconscious, i dabbed myself with cold water. after some minutes i felt ok. but my hands were shaking and i couldnt eat anymore. when i returned, i had a hard time breathing through my nose then i started breathing through my mouth and made gasping sounds as i needed air. great, now i am attacked by my rare asthma that comes and goes.

the old mean looking chinese near me looked at me but i just smiled but inside i couldnt take it anymore, im getting toxic.  all these events that happend, my frail body broke down.

i tried to get sleep but i cant, coz of me having a hard time breathing. then me and the old mean looking chinese near me shared the empty seat between us, he put his things there and gestured to me that i should do it too and rest my feet there, as he cant speak english. it was unbelievable, prejudice again. if it werent for my current situation, i would love to converse with him.

after 30 minutes, i excused myself again and went to the toilet, as i threw up the second time. so theres nothing anymore in my stomach, and its hurting, my head was hurting, my chest was hurting and had a hard time breathing then i saw the annoying looking flight atendant, there was nothing to do but laugh.

after 3 hours of pain, the pilot said were approaching the philippines.

still an hour to go before we land manila, it was sunset.

i looked out the window and saw the most beautiful sunset in my life. i cried. because i lost my fucking luggage.