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Sydney Travel Blog

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Don't let people tell you that Australians are an unfriendly bunch. I landed in Sydney after a fairly great flight from Kuala Lumpur. Not only did I have a row to myself, and not just any row the back row of the plane. I was also able to get a some sleep which was surprising since I normally don't sleep well on planes. I was envisioning getting woken up every 20 mins by people visiting the bathroom throughout the night. What was weird was people watching TV with me as they waited for the bathroom in the morning though.

Anyway even though I was last off the plane, I ended up being one of the first to get processed pre baggage collection as 90% of the plane headed straight to duty free to get bottles of booze and fags. It is only when I went to the baggage collection area that things turned awry. It normally takes at least 5-10 mins before your bags come to the rotating travellator things. So I thought I might as well empty my bladder since the first bags were only just appearing. Half way to the toilets I get stopped and get told to use the control toilets inside the customs inspection area. I've done this a million times before. Come to the baggage collection area I use the toilets. Why not this time? Well the answer I got from the guy was they were doing some sort of exercise and needed people to use the control toilets. I wanted the kaos toilets. The funny thing is he asked me what I was going to do in there. Umm dump the kilo of angel dust hidden in my intestines? No I was going to pee. He wanted to watch. Whatever, if thats how he gets his kicks he can watch me pee. I don't care. Plenty of other guys get the chance in pub/bar/club toilets, why not him. Anyway post pee I still had an excruciating wait for my bags. Somehow my bags are never the first to get off the plane. 

With my backpack in hand I walked literally 10 meters before 2 other custom officials asked to see my travel documents (ie passport and customs declaration card). Ohhhhhkay. I brief glance and I was on my way again. Walk another 20 meters handed in my customs declaration card with nothing to declare.  I would expect to walk straight through since I had nothing to declare. But no I was told to follow him to an inspection station. The only thought that ran through my head besides "God this is annoying I just want to go home and sleep" is "Shit I'm the next Schapelle Corby". For those who don't know who Schapelle is, she is an Australian girl who got busted for being a drug mule in Bali, but to this day still protests her innocence.

I've done this before. Having my luggage searched by customs when I've declared that I have nothing. But those times it was random checks and fairly painless. My gut told me this wasn't. Which was proven right when the guy didn't look through my bags and said I had to wait for another guy to come and search through my stuff. We had a gay old time in the meantime. Chatting away about where I've been and what I do. I managed to get a few chuckles out of him, it almost seemed like I could have been anywhere but customs chatting to an old mate. Then he came. The pee pervert. He acted like he has never seen me before, or the fact that he saw liquid discharge from my body 10 minutes before. I tried to be as friendly as possible even giving a "do you remember me" kind of face. He acted surprised when I told him that I saw him just before. Maybe he didn't take his brain medicine and forgets things easily without them. Anyway I went through the same process and told him where I was and what I was doing overseas. All the while he was looking extensively through my stuff. He emptied all my bags and put them on the table. Went through my wallet and looked at all my cards.

Let me tell you this folks. Telling someone that you went overseas for 4 days in search for love is not a story believable in the ears of the powers that be. For some reason even though I told him a couple of times and he nodded his head and verbalised his understanding. The cogs in his head could not accept it and would not turn. He would then focus on the girl and ask where she is and what she does and where she lives etc. I'm beginning to find this whole situation farcical. Can't a guy be stupid and irrational? Can't he blow a months wages in a few days. Can't a guy fall in love? Granted most people go overseas for trips for weeks not days, I'm sure there are others besides drug mules who go for only days. For instance I know a girl who went to London for a weekend. From Australia. Yes she travelled 20+ hours to get to London met up with a few friends and came back and flew another 20+ hours over a long weekend. I don't think she was hassled.

Well after talking for a bit and having run out of things to look at, I was a free man. I shoved everything back into my backpack and stepped into the grey drizzling streets of Sydney. What a far cry from the hot humid weather I was expecting especially since summer is just round the corner. So my advice to anyone who wants to have a bit of a chin-wag with some locals at the airport. Book a flight into/out of Australia and make sure you leave/re-enter a few days afterwards. You'll be flagged by immigration and hilarity will ensue.
oriel says:
this was a real page-turner you are destined to be a writer - mystery? romance? travel?
Posted on: Dec 17, 2008
dfoo says:
Well stay tuned for more. I just have to get the spare time to write it. I sort of started backwards as that was freshest in my memory.

Co-worker? Umm yes maybe you will ;)
Posted on: Nov 27, 2008
Sweetski says:
Great story, loved every minute of it. Too bad it was only a short trip. Will you be seeing more of your co-worker?
Posted on: Nov 27, 2008
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Sydney
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