French Girl Bedding Down with me

Koh Phi Phi Travel Blog

 › entry 8 of 20 › view all entries
So... hmm... I got to rock climbing, am I right!? Well... that night i decided to boogie on down with my women (lindsay and steph) and head to the beach party so we shuffled to the bakery for tea and munched to our hearts content before scuttling down to the beach for the half moon party on phi phi island. BUY ONE GET ONE FREE buckets and me and the stephmeister were made!! I was moaning about how little vodka he was going to put in as it wasn't a full bottle but he poured about a bottle and a half in and some and splattered a bit of coke and swirled it around-that was totally not diluted!!! It tasted like turps, man-it wasn't right but i was like... it's cheap so you will drink it!! We took a perch on a mat by the side of the fire show and watched as the best fire jufgglers for miles around twisted and twirled their flames in a manic fashion to the amusement of about 300 revellers!! He even lit a fag-jokes!!! (quote from stephanie emma lewis) Then came fire limbo...

Me and steph thought it was a good idea to limbo from the wrong side but as we got under the flames shot up at us and we fell over but to our amazement we got a round of applause from the baying crowd so we weren't total losers! Some random men besides us were offering us drinks and we were like jog on but as the vodka kicked in it became more acceptable so we blagged some as the other guy spiked my bucket with brandy-yeeeeeack!! I even got offered a special time-either that was riding on the special bus or he was trying to pimp himself out-stupid thai men-how wrong can one race be!?

Then some random italian was hitting on me-he was old enough to be my dad but again blagged a drink.. i'd never normally do it in england but it was free alcoholage so why the hell not!? As the bucket of crap and my gin kicked in and we lost the weird men-me and steph thought it clever to throw ourselves at the sea's mercy and rescue bottle preaching that we were saving the world one bottle at a time-big ass idiots, i feel but while she flustered about looking for them i tried to nick a ribbon off a boat but ended up swinging on it like a right nob-plus i was soaked!! Previous to this i chatted up a thai bloke to see if we could get free accommodation in chiang mai-oh yeah, i can stay with his parents but he wants marriage first-that was when the excuse me one moment, i need the toilet line came in handy!!

While we acted daft we encountered strange men saying to steph-i want to make love to youuuuuu, dirty old men and a sweet but obvious thai guy who washed the body paint off lindsay with such intent-bless!!! Me and steph looked a mess-messes in dresses, i feel. we were dripping with water and body paint that yes... glowed but no.. wouldn't come off plus i love sex emblazoned on my back-cheers guys!!! Oh and i love lindsay on my arm!

Then we met chorleycakes!!! hehehehe... earlier on in the night we spotted a random guy who coulldn't dance and we were like-ha, blatantly english and northern!! Oh yeah... got it on the nail!! I pushed steph into him and they got talking then for the next 2.5 hours tongues were wrapped round each other-photos will be uploaded later!! Then came irish.. (Brian) the guy who kept saying do you think i'm a leprechaun and have a pot of gold at the end of my rainbow!? we were like.. er... yeah!!! he stalked me ALL night to the extent where i could've got a restraining order-he even believed he lived through the potato famine, oh and that he was fair to compare it to the holocaust-twat!!

He was a nutjob of the highest calibur and i spent all night whistling at him like a dog and telling him that i'd rather chew off my own arm than get with him while steph told him it was love-aha... NO!!! We stumbled back at 6.30 in the morning but i nipped in the shower for 2 mions while chorley and steph chatted and came out and there was a random french bird in my bed!!! I'm not even joking-she'd put my stuff on the floor and made herself comfortable-i called steph then we asked lindsay, who the fuck is that!? and all she could do was laugh-when we woke her, she went back to sleep then got up protesting it was her room-clearly we weren't in the wrong room and then she thought we were mugging her so the moral of this story-never leave your door open at night!!!
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