El Paradiso and it's Brazilian Friends

Gold Coast Travel Blog

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So.. after a long morning worrying about whether said drivers were going to be nut jobs, we hit a local cafe to fuel ourselves and enjoy our last meal in peace. We tucked into a big fried brekky and a large drink before heading off to do our chores for the day-unlocking my phone and dropping some crap off at lorraine's as we couldn't physically carry everything-talk about travelling light!! We meandered back to the hostel and annoyed, dirty stop out, nick before running to catch a tube to redfern. We sat and waited for what seemed like hours but am sure was only a few minutes and then piled onto a train to bondi and 4 stops later we'd arrived... We called and text but lorraine wasn't answering so we sat in a cafe until a weary and hungover young woman headed over, fiance in tow and took the bag, gave us a hug and sent us on our way. We must've looked right mugs though as every other day it had rained and today was blistering hot and everyone was headed for the beach. We instead opted for chinatown to get one's phone unlocked so we could save pennies on calls by getting an ozzie number but what a kerfuffle!!!

SO..... we finally find our way to st.paddy's market after a long circle around it and we hit every phone shop imaginable but nowhere seems to unlock-bloody marvellous and then alas we get directed to a guy who will unlock it for me. After negotiating the fee and checking that he won't delete any data on my battered old phone, i hand it over and leave him for 5 minutes to work his magic but when i come back and check my phone-everything (to my horror) has been wiped. No numbers. No pictures. No messages. Nothing. I angrily snarl at this guy but he is adamant that it has never happened before and that i must've done it. I scowled at him, why on earth would i do it?? i screamed but nothing was registering in his thick skull so lindsay snatched the phone and he let us stomp off into the relaxing daylight. We hurriedly ran back to the tube and headed back to king's cross to meet the "lift givers". We gingerly stepped into o'malleys and found two unshaven mid twenties males sat staring at us from the corner of the bar, as we went to introduce ourselves. We immediately realised that they didn't have it in them to be serial killers, after all.. one of them was from the north of engand and so we pottered on out, grabbed our bags, bought an aussie sim card and set sail for newcastle.

We arrived at newcastle after only a couple of hours and found a yha and pitched up for the night even though we almost begrudged giving the money as the french dude on the desk was an absolute pillock! We dribbled down into the local store and bought some food and got Matt to cook while we got ready to go out and watch James' friend at a gig. After a beer and some fajitas we fled to the cambridge hotel and watched Nick Saxon at his album launch. The two of them had some strange mates though-one put his hand in my pocket (i though my phone was vibrating!!) and so i belted his hand and he dribbled all over lindsay before she told him she was married (blatantly using my line!) Then we trotted off down the street to see my mate dean and his merry men who were rude, arrogant young aussies who clearly thought they were more attractive than they were and spent the evening not acknowledging our existence-lame!! We then decided enough was enough and filtered off down the street to bedfordshire.

We got up bright and early and drove up to the ocean baths, while the boys went swimming, the girls (me and lindsay) oohed and aahed at the surfers in the waves skyrocketing below our plinth-it was a beautiful way to spend the morning. We soon set off on the way to the gold coast and only stopped once to get a pie for dinner which was gone in 60 seconds then as soon as we stopped, we set off again with a weary james at the helm of his automatic beast. 6 hours later we were there and hit subway for a bite to eat to feed our hunger. We sat on the beach watching a giant red orb surface out of the stoney water-it was the moon emerging from the sea-everyone around us was silent and all you could see were camera flashes.

We attempted to walk to our hostel but it was at southport beach so after a thoughtless 30 minutes, we decided a lift was what we needed so the boys drove us to aquarius hostel where we quickly dumped our stuff and quenched our thirst with an ice cold cider. Everyone sat at the bar wsas northern-2 mancunian's and 2 cumbrian's and one of the guys from the lake district was born in keighley so while we all chatted about home-poor lindsay looked lost and couldn't really converse. They did rip it out of her but then i got it too for losing my accent. After an hour's worth of silliness we shot up to bed like old maids and dreamed the night away.

Next day we had to get up and look for a place to stay, after eating a sandwich at a surf club we tottered on down the road to an accommodation service but today lindsay was ignoring me cos i said she looked grumpy and asked if she was ok. Hmm... Not the first time. Anyway, we eventually got talking after looking at a place in broad beach which was a mission to find if you didn't know the area but it was 2 minutes from the beach and everything we had hoped it would be and so we agreed and tottered off back into town with a huge grin on our faces like the cats had got the cream! But we still couldn't move in til Wednesday so we had to find somewhere for the next 2 nights and southport wasn't exactly cheap so we spent our pennies on backpacker's in paradise and got a lift back to get our bags from the last hostel and then the bus into town at 6 after a leisurely beer to celebrate our achievement.

The backpacker's in paradise hostel was cheap but we were in a 20 bed dorm and so didn't hold out much hope for a good night's sleep! We munched on jelly and pot noodles for tea and then went to watch tv in the bar area-seeing bear grylls munch bugs and snake was not the best thing to watch after our squirmy dinner but it filled the empty space between teatime and bedtime. The security guy came in to do his rounds and check on the rooms and made me stand on his back and turn all the fans up-random, why couldn't he have picked someone on the bottom bunk? All i could hear was sniggering from the other boarders! My bed was the broken one-ggrrrrreeeeaaattt!! it wibbled and wobbled and squeaked all night and then a lousy bunch came back at 5am and made a racket-the girl beneath me on the bunk was smashing stuff and throwing things around, the boy opposite clearly had tourettes as every word out of his mouth was a swear word and then there were two girls in the bottom bunk together having sex so quite clearly-we were in fawlty towers or some hell or the other!!

Next morning some creepy guy from Perth made a beeline for lindsay and pawed her like a wolf on heat and then came to introduce himself to me making some comment about how i was showing too much leg. Mate, I'm in bed in shorts and t-shirt-you see more leg on a bloody beach. He soon tumbled off to paw lindsay again but she was totally freaked and he even decided he was spending the day with us-no mate, you're old enough to be our dad!! I made a really random excuse and we headed for the beach WITHOUT some weird stalker attached to us. We spent the day at the beach and got burnt to buggery and my legs now have wiggly lines all over and then we crawled to a bar for lunch and then home to shower and relax a while but oh no... strange guy was there again. Take the hint!!

After drowning my burnt and battered body in cream and watching it sizzle, I made a beeline for the bar to get an ice cold beer that i waved across my bad legs. You couldn't stay in the room for too long or you'd hear tourettes boy or creepy man would follow you. We made a simple soup dinner with bread and sat with a german guy and a welshy who'd been to UWE and so we talked about bristol and the like. He had a worse southern/bristolian accent than me so it was all good. Then it was back to bear grylls and his man VS the wild. That man is truly sick but it's incredible to watch. 11 came round again and after my room complaining about the leaks in our room and the air con being on 30 and still nothing getting done, we gave up and went to bed but this time we had swapped beds-lindsay to avoid weirdo and me so i wasn't seasick!!

We got up with a spring in our step cos it was d-day, the day we move to our new pad-wicked!! But after trudging up the street to the bus station and waddling around the broad beach area for a while and finally reaching the house, we were surprised that no one was home and after finally reaching luciana we had a breakthrough-michael was coming to let us in. Two and a half hours later... Michael came. Lindsay had to endure me singing to pass time and dancing around like a fool just itching to get into our new pad. We got in, dumped our stuff and then with a huge grin headed to the local woolworths to go buy staples for our meals. We ran round the supermarket throwing in cocopops, milk, cordial, bread, chili con carne etc etc and as I was the sworn in cook-I had to keep an eye on what we were getting. Then we split the cost and tootled off home to make a sandwich and relax in fron to f the tv but the tv here is pants and so we spent the day watching films-fracture, angus, thongs and perfect snogging, mad money etc etc until bedtime.

Next day I got up about 1 and made brekky, then watched tv and played around with dvds before a leisurely stroll down the beach at teatime to go use the internet, then we had a jug of beer at o'malleys, then whistled a bus home while running like mad women, trying to avoid the rain. Bed again-like old married women. Friday was another filmy day, then linz got up, then i slept and we didn't go out again, we cooked a meal together and then ate chocolate and watched more films. We were kept up at night though as the brzailian housemates had people round and were partying like it was 1999! Wish we'd had the energy!! And if it's not the partying, it's the bugs squawking or the chameleons whining or somebody revving an engine that wakes us up. I love our relaxed beach house but australia's wildlife needs to pipe down!

Saturday, I woke up bright and early and chatted to Luciana over breakfast about her crumby job at coles and the boss' bullying of anyone non australian-fool!! Rafaell and Michael invited me to the beach and so while mike and i sat on a sunny hillside in burleigh heads above the rocks, Rafaell surfed his little heart and showed off to his audience above. I finally made it back to the pad and after working my magic on a salad and filling me and the wife (lindsay) we headed to pacific fair the local shopping cntre to have a nosey around but it shut early so instead we came home, i made tea and then dvd time AGAIN. Getting so cheap and boring in our old age. Today was a wee bit brighter, I did my washing, even hung it out to dry, did some email hellooooo's and then we made it to pacific fair in time to shop but bought zero, nada and instead enquired about the local theme park and so today was a bit more productive but we still haven't decided what to do after the bright lights of sydney fade on 6th january. I guess we'll have to get jobs-boooo!

ah well... have a very merry christmas and love to all my special people back home

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Gold Coast
photo by: RJ1982