Chuffing Rain

Koh Samui Travel Blog

 › entry 7 of 20 › view all entries
Sooooo... we boated it over to samui, took the front seats by our bags and rested our weary behinds into the soft mush but before we knew it-we were there, surrounded by every tom, dick and harry and their thai bride-yeeesh!! we clambered off the boat with our stickers emblazoned on our tops and fought to get our bags before being ushered to an "air-conditioned" minibus, air conditioned by the fact it had a wee window in the back but to the best of me i could not ram it open so i sat sandwiched between two foreigners in the back sweating bucket loads as we rushed along the coast to chaweng beach but being the brainiacs that we are-we didn't book accommodation so we struggled with names for our driver until i came up with chaweng chalet-somewhere nice that i had stayed in before, perched on the beach in the busy chaweng district. A nice lady whipped up our bags and directed us to a beach chalet where i melted into the shower and cleaned the days dirt away.

I stared at the can on in my bag-the ring pull had fallen off and i was dying to get in so i ploughed a pen knife into the side and alas plied the juice away from it's casing and poured it long and hard into my throat-i was dying from the heat and lindsay was dying from laughter at my confidence over the can!! Still haven't tanned that bitch ass line on my leg-boooo!!! We then headed up the main street to the islander for tea-i love the food there but lindsay is fussy so always leaves loads and makes the people serving feel guilty!! Then by the markets snapping up bargains late into the night before cocktails by the beach and watching fire balloons parade around the night sky like mini ufo's!

Next day up and at 'em to the markets for brekky then trawling down alleyways to find a camera case for lindsay who lost it on that drunk night in bangkok!! Afterwards, we headed back to rally the troops-nuala and stephanie who had just arrived that day, heading for lunch we caught up like it had been ages since we had all been together then hit the beach for cocktails and sun but held out til happy hour while nuala hid away in the room still poorly from mai pen rai. We dressed up in our gladrags and hit the town hitting campervans for cheap ass cocktails and bars for cheap beer and even a posh restaurant along the way for munch! While my friend, coconut, pined for lindsay-he asked her out on a date and she didn't answer so he shied away from us for the rest of our time in samui-poor geez! Gutted for him-he's the funniest thai man EVER and i'm taller than him-which makes it even funnier!! I stole some guys y-fronts and posed for pictures in the street-not my finest hour but it made us all giggle!

We strayed the streets all night bombing from bar to bar and even stopping for a cheap ass burger. I asked for a bitter shandy in tropical murphy's bar but they gave me half a bitter in the bottom of a glass and a sprite-that was the sweetest, nastiest experience i have ever had the privilege of having! Then back to the room to annoy nuala in bed-bless her cotton socks!

Next day I awoke before everyone and so headed into a flooded chaweng village and hit the pharmacy for something to make me feel better, then i trawled the streets and the beaches looking for a good laugh, while steph and lindsay went for a swim and dried off by the beach. Me and Nuala playing sick stayed in bed watching australia's next top model for a few hours before struggling over to the roof opposite for dinner and drinkies but she couldn't last the night while we played with ovens and made garlic bread etc all excitedly (such kids) then we met jason, kurt and alister who fumbled about the streets looking for us when the directions we gave were perfectly sound. Had a night on the raz from then on hitting all manner of bars including a warped henry africa's where you can play drinking games or jenga etc and a go-go bar where alister bartered for a blowey-nice!! Me and Lindsay won so the others had to assault themselves with tequila while we sat there taking "beautiful" pictures!! Good times... After supping a cocktail called "gaypower", my stomach began to churn but i further battered it with other cocktails before lusting after an air conned room and so i left for home, stumbling down the streets towards my door. Part way I saw a hungry coconut munching and so he chaperoned me back to the beach. I sat up and talked rubbish to nuala for like an hour before sleeping off the edge.

Morning shot through me like a bolt of lightning and yet again, it was raining. I piled my stuff into my bag and made my way to the tourist office for some tickets to krabi. The lady's husband from bedford transported us to the pier where we fought to get our tickets validated with other sweaty tourists, then we got the boat with reclining seats and fell into a swell sleep.. then came another bus journey but after 3 hours we were just dumped by the side of the road and didn't have a clue what to do. We waited for a few minutes then an hour past before another bus came for us, i crawled to the back for a seat and relaxed into my wee box before setting off. The rain hit thick and hard and some of the road were so badly flooded-the water flashed up right over the bus and sometimes knocking the bus sideways-was pretty intense!

Another 2 hours passed and so we made krabi, some guy told us we could get cracking accommodation in the centre of town at his but he lied. It was yet another dive complete with Roger the cockroach!! We fought to catch him then get him out the window but lindsay was the only warrior brave enough for this mission!! After that adventure and about 3 showers later we fought our way into town but nothing was open and it wasn't exactly the centre of town. We hurried back to the hotel then the guy in charge drove us to a bar for food which was cheap cheap but there was a reason for that!! I got bitten to shreds and everywhere we went steph would scream at the hidden cockroaches bolting across the road infront of us! We had to go in the back way but in passing saw a rabid dog, a puppy with a straggly mother, a dead rat, cockroaches, faeces etc-it was niccccccceee!)

Next morning we booked our ticket to phi phi and threw our luggage into the back of an open cab (this was heaven compared to riding in the back of a pick up in the rain the previous night, on our way to the hotel!) then squeezed in-we trundled through the streets filling with travellers before making the pier and dashing across to make the boat. We sat on the floor at the front of the boat where the air con burst into life and chilled us to the core and minutes later we were there.

We launched ourselves off the boat, bags an' all and ran over to a guy who directed us to cheap accommodation. Basic with a fan but clean enough except for the giant aunts. While steph sorted her dive, me and the lindmeister made it into town book shopping, then playing with puppies (almost kidnapped a baby beagle), fruitshakes to cool down then beachtime!!! We paddled in the shallow water until it soaked our skin and shorts-you could walk right out into the distance so we figured it was the nearest we'd get to walking on water!! Then i made a sandturtle called terry-he was VERY cool!! we decorated him with seaweed and shells just for effect, then came the thai massage......

OH MY GOD!!! the woman who massaged me for an hour was a legend-she made me bend in way i never thought possible and cracked my back etc-perfect for my rock climb today!! She wrestled with my body rolling out the aches and pains and filling me with waves of relaxation!! MINT!! I was a very satisfied customer. Even got a head massage so hopefully that sent my brainwaves into overdrive!!

Today i was awoken by two giggly girls off diving at stupid o'clock, i drifted in and out of consciousness til lunchtime when i got up, read my book on the beach and then headed out for my rock climb with spidermonkey! After being measured up and fitted, we crept along the pier beach and up into the undergrowth-had the rock climbing already begun!? we threw ourselves over rock and dirt until we made our destination. Noi, the instructor flew up the sheer cliff laying all the rope before billeting flo, then ahmed, then me. The little cliffs were often more difficult than the big one's and i found the hardest one easy-yes, i am a freak!! After swinging around on my rope for a while looking out over the bay and doing numerous rock climbs i headed back down to the village with ahmed before seizing lindsay and getting lunch and now it's another beach party!!!

So... keep it thai, guys xxxx
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Koh Samui
photo by: realrv6