I was on a three-month backpacking trip through Europe and I was scheduled to fly out of Rome. I had met up with several friends new and old during my trip but at this point in the summer I was traveling solo. Unfortunately I had slightly misjudged my budget/blown all my dough on museums, ballets, chocolate and wine. I decided to be a bit more frugal for my remaining twelve days. I ended up crashing in a train station on the east side of town. Not the most luxurious of accommodations but it was a roof over my head (although I was run over twice by a floor cleaning zambonie with only a "scuzie" from its operator, what an asshole). The problem was not that I was sleeping on a stone floor but that I had very few options for bathing. I met some Brits at a bar and we had a blast discussing different topics over several bottles of wine. Around 12:30am they invited me to crash in their hotel room but I declined for several reasons but mostly because I wanted another shot at the cat and mouse game with the train station janitor. I was walking "home" and I came across a plaza near the station with a fountain in the middle. I was suddenly aware of the fact that I probably didn't smell all that great since it was July. I decided, still slightly inebriated, that since there was no one in sight I should just drop trou and wash up a bit in the fountain. So I began to do so; I set my pack on the lip of the fountain and made a neat pile of my vestments on a water spewing stone fish head. I started to wash the "hot spots" first with my travel soap. I was actually thoroughly enjoying the bath! I was in the middle of washing my hair with my eyes shut when I heard a very authoritative yet slightly amused male voice yell at me in Italian. I replied with a few quick "scuzies" as I rinsed the soap from my eyes. I grabbed my shirt and strategically placed it around my middle section. The two men who were in fact police officers (imagine that) did not speak English however it was clear that they wanted me to get dressed and come with them and they wanted it done fast! I quickly threw on my clothes with a few jovial remarks in an attempt to lighten the mood. Once dressed they grabbed my pack and both held onto my arms and escorted me to a small police station a few blocks away. I tried to chat with them while we walked but all they wanted to do was scold me but I could tell that they found the entire affair rather humorous although they were trying hide it. I got a few smiles out of them by the time we reached the station. Once we arrived they put me in a small room/holding cell. Several minutes later another officer came into the room and explained my situation to me since he spoke rather proficient English. He said that I had been arrested and that I would be forced to pay a fine. I told him that I was staying in a nearby hostel that I had stayed in several months earlier. I also said that I was very low on funds since I was leaving soon and that I was sorry since I shouldn't have drunk so much wine. He told me he would give me a break; so I paid the supposedly reduced fine and left after I filled-out a little paperwork. This saddened me since, although I was now clean I was also totally broke and would be unable to consume anymore gorgonzola and procuito. Anyway, I got back to the train station around 3:30 eager to challenge the janitor once again; my wits against his floor cleaning zambonie.
