I'm a marked man

Little Rock Travel Blog

 › entry 8 of 15 › view all entries
Not even half an hour outside of OKC, I have another run-in with Johnny Law.  Well, this guy was more like Cletus-law, and boy howdy!  He sure was a prick!  He pulled out of a tree-filled median and followed me for about 5 miles or so.  I saw a gas station at the next exit, so I pulled off the highway to fill up the tank (I almost ran dry between Roswell and Texas, so I'm trying to keep it 1/2 full).  Sure enough, he cuts in behind me and follows me down the ramp.  I get to the stop sign at the bottom, and on come the flashers.  So I pull into the gas station and get ready for the same bullshit.

"This a rental car?  Y'all mind if ah see yer license?"

I look around for the other person in the car with me.  Nope, nobody.  I guess "Y'all" can be used to describe either a group of people or a single person.  Interesting...

"You know why I pulled you over?  Ts'cause you were driving on he shoulder down this off ramp here."
"The one that has no lines?  The one that the person in front of me was using too?"
"Yeah, errbody does it..."

Yeah, right.  I'm not stupid.  I saw how you cut across traffic to follow me when I exited.  You were going to pull me over no matter what.  If I didn't exit, you would have stayed behind me until I swerved slightly or went over the speed limit by 2 miles or so.

"Whyncha come back to mah car with me, have a seat in the front thurr."

I give the cop the wrong paperwork by mistake, and this beady-eyed trooper starts grilling me.  

"Whatcher date of birth?"
"Whatcher address?"
"This car rented in your name?"
"How'd you pay for it?"
"Ever been arrested befoah?"
"Y'all don't have any e-leegal weapons or drugs back thurr, do ya?"
"No Meth?  Marijuana?  Cocaine?  Heroin?  Meth?  Weed?  Weapons?  Anthing?  Meth?"

And on and on and on for 15 minutes.  Once again, he calls in my information, and once again, it comes back clean.  I get another warning to sign, and again, as I am stepping out the door, I hear "Y'all don't mind if I take a look in yer trunk, do ya?"

I KNEW it was coming.  So I say "Well, yeah, I do have a bit of a problem with it."

This causes the trooper to pause for a moment.  He looks at me silently for a few seconds, and I stare right back at him.

"Well, whyzzat now?"
"Because I already had a Texas State Trooper pawing a little too eagerly through my underwear not even 24 hours ago, and to tell you the truth, it made me a bit uncomfortable."
"You know that this here highway is used a lot to transport meth, dontcha?"
"No, actually I didn't.  I'm not from around here you know."
"So that Texas trooper, he gave you a good work over, huh?"
"Yeah, he spent close to an hour sniffing my bags."

Strange look from the cop.

"He get that k-9 unit out thurr on ya, now did he?"
"I got the works, sir."  I actually didn't get a K-9 before, but I figured if I said yes, he'd be more likely to let me go.
"Weeelllll....  Just be careful out thurr now."
"Thanks, I will.  By the way, I've never been to Oklahoma before, you have a real pretty state here."

Another strange look from the cop.

"Yeah, well y'all have a safe trip now."

And off he goes.  At this point, I am extremely stressed out because I'm getting tagged by every cop who gets behind me, so I don't even stop the rest of the way through Oklahoma.  I pull into the Arkansas visitor center and get my map/guide book and shoot straight into Little Rock, where I grab a room at the Hampden Inn.  I'm constantly looking in my rear view mirror, and every black or white car that I see coming up on me causes my heart to skip a beat.  I'm so paranoid about getting pulled over again that I just zoom straight into town and get a room at the first Hampden Inn I see.  Screw CSing tonight.  I just want to relax, eat some dinner and check my email.

I grab dinner from Sims BBQ down the street (I know it's going to be good because it's smokey, dim and they sell 40 ozers in the cooler.)  I get a huge chopped pork sandwich, a chopped beef sandwich and some fries, then head back to my room with a few grape sodas.

Holy shit, this is awesome BBQ.  Seriously good stuff.  The highlight of my day, in fact.  And that tells you something.  I eat and watch cartoons for a while before drifting off to sleep.

Next stop, Nashville Tennessee!
binky says:
I am going to go to Arkansas this winter. Glad I am doing the research now. Note to self...leave the meth at home (jk, dude who runs this site)...Sounds crazy down there!
Posted on: Oct 17, 2007
Eric says:
Wow, crazy cops.
Posted on: Feb 12, 2007
UnexpectedTwist says:
That BBQ sure sounds good!!
Posted on: Feb 11, 2007
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