Well that´ll be it then, will the last person to leave please turn out the lights
Can you believe we´re in our final destination ?????????
We left England nine months ago on what can only be described as the best honeymoon ever, and now we´ve got to return to reality and head back. Oh well still time for another couple of drinks........
We checked into a hostel in Miraflores, the nicer part of Lima and hopefully a long way from where the bastards live who stole Sid. It was a bit of an arse finding somewhere to stay as the original hostel we had booked rooms with had obviously simply lied because we turned up to see our ,so called, beautifully designed, airy matrimonial boudoirs, only to find that they only had dorms with bunkbeds !!!!!!!! I´m sorry but we´re married now and as high class pleasure seekers, we don´t do dorms !!!!!! So off we trotted to look around pretty much every hostel in Lima, all full or full of dirt and insects!!! Eventually we found a nice place by the Inca market and got ourselves a couple of rooms ) one for us and one for Neil, we haven´t fallen out on our honeymoon yet !!!!!!!! ) and then it was straight out to round up a heap of souveniers for Nick Neil Sui to take home with him.
So it was ron and coke for starters, cerveza´s and vino tinto for secundo, vodka and sangria for dessert and somewhere in between there was time for another attempt at finding the ultimate burger, it was a failure however but we did have some truely scrummy pizza yuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, Neil had a bit of a danceoff with a bar girl, and we all bought some more souvenirs including two of the gayest hats on the planet !!!!!!!!!! Also we met either the real guy or the doppelganger of the guy from the Rockford Files !!!!!! There was just time to crash out for a couple of hours before Neil Nick Sui had to head off for the airport at 4 in the morning to get the big white bird home.
Next day and we´re into our final twenty four hours, what to do????????????? Keiffer Sutherland would have time to save the world a couple of times over, fall in love, have a couple of other crissis´, shoot a dozen people and still be home in time for tea, we have just about managed to cram in a little tourist bollocks, a nice walk, oh and another entry on the soupometer, another variation on the hoof soup front, this time with slightly nicer meaty bits, lots of celery, a lump of potato and a few carrots, very much enhanced with some ahoy sauce which is as hot as keiffer Sutherlands daughter no scratch that I´m married now, as hot as Mrs Breeze !!!! Russian judge gave a 6 , the French a 4 and the English judge a 7 based on effort, all in all a very respectable 6.
It´s the airport tomorrow and home, can´t believe it, we´ve seen some absolutely beautiful, amazing and unbelievable things, eaten some truely great and some utterly disgusting food and drunk enough booze to fill a herd of wild elephants, what a great time we´ve had and what a fantastic wife i´ve got.
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