Terrorising Thailand - End of Week One

Chiang Mai Travel Blog

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Super awesome
If I had a travel fairy godmother (and I realise such a thought is absurd, but I'm afraid my brain is not quite functioning today), I do not think she could grant more wishes than what Mel and I have worked our butts off to achieve this week.

After haggling and hugging my way through Khaosan Road, Mel and I headed to Kanchanaburri with Suzanne (our travbuddy from New York with an identity crisis - we taught her to say 'festy' and 'feral' so she is now an honorary Austrerican) and Franek (our Polish friend who is probably the nicest sleazey Borat-impersonator I have ever met). Together we braved a perverted mini-truck driver, who insisted on lifting up his shirt to reveal a furry forest of pubic hair and the start of what is probably the most disgusting thing I've ever seen, to hang out with some tigers!!! I realise I can probably see tigers in Dreamworld, but the experience of petting a live tiger with potentially savaging teeth in the middle of Thailand is something to be cherished. Of course, the appropriate tiger faces and "grr baby"'s were included to round off the experience. The day was completed with a visit to the bridge over the river kwai, a devastating yet inspirational sight. Oh, and I was gored by a bull.

I had the most amazing day yesterday. I honestly could not have asked for more. We had been on a two day hill tribe trek (with remarkably few hill tribes I might add), cutting a path through unmarked jungle. When our guide pulled out a cruel, sharp knife, we knew we were either in for a rough walk or he was planning to chop us up into pieces and sell our body parts. Neither option was particularly appealing. I'm pleased to announce that I still have all my limbs.

The walk was incredible, ending in a camp where all members of the trek slept together in one big building. Between the alarmingly hard floor, Suzanne discovering the true talents of a Dutchman, and snorey-magoo from Boston on the other side of the room, I didn't get much sleep.

So I wasn't really prepared for yesterday's wonders.

To start with, I trekked on the back of an elephant! Could there be anything more wonderful? Yes, it was smelly. Yes, it was hairy. Yes, it snorted snot all over us. But I got to trek through the jungle of Chiang Mai on an elephant we dubbed Nellie (original, I know).

Then I went white water rafting. Biggest adrenaline rush ever. If I had not been holding on for dear life I would have wooped enthusiastically. There is something truly wonderful about sitting in a blow up raft (which had a distinct sound of air excaping) with four Irish girls who can't swim and a slightly mental tour guide who sang for us in Thai most of the way. Brilliant.

Then last night Mel, Suzanne and I, plus Team Ireland, decided to dress up nice and pretty and go out for a few drinks. Being old hats at the whole Thailand game now, Mel and I felt it was our duty to corrupt Team Ireland with the introduction of 'the bucket.' They emerged today at four o'clock in the afternoon cursing our bad influence, especially once they saw the photos of them swimming in the pool in g-strings at 6am to the disgust of our entire guesthouse.

Probably didn't help much that we played four kings last night too.

However, wtih confidence induced by alcohol, Mel and I fulfilled the role of crazy, noisy Aussie chicks and invited anyone and everyone who even approached our bar to come and join us, including a few Irish lads, an Irish couple, two Canadians and a group of crazy doctors from the UK, who have forever corrupted the song 'Roxeanne.' And I met a particularly gorgeous Welshman, who seemed to share my love of drunk posing for the camera, hiding from pervy Thai men and laughing at my Bridget Jones' moments...

When I crawled into bed at 5am this morning with a huge smile on my face, I couldn't help but thank my travel fairy godmother. She did some nice work yesterday.

So that's my very brief summary of week one.

We've also seen some temples and shit.

I'll write again next week for all you normal people.
melkirkman says:
You, my friend, are awesome. I didn't realise you had put all this up here!!!
Posted on: Nov 23, 2008
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Super awesome
Super awesome
Chiang Mai
photo by: Stevie_Wes