Terrorising Thailand - End of Week 4

Koh Tao Travel Blog

 › entry 11 of 13 › view all entries
It's tough being me. Every morning this week I woke up and had to decide whether to wear my blue sarong or white dress over my swimming togs. Then I had the dilemma of which sun bed to lie on and how long to tan my front and back. Then do I have pad thai or a club sandwich for lunch, followed by swimming or a nap? The evenings are the worst. Do I get drunk on mai tais or buckets with some good looking boys, or do I watch movies in bed drinking $1 lychee bacardis and eating all sorts of crap bought from 7Eleven heaven?

Oh the decisions I must make!

We started our island life in Ko Samui, where we celebrated Mel's birthday in true Thailand style. We slept in, then emerged to kayak off the beach in sparkling, crystal-blue water, got henna tattoos because we were too scared to get real ones, napped, then had a delicious seafood dinner. Then conveniently, one of the bars was having a beach party, so we dressed up nicely and danced bare foot in the waves until dawn.

Unfortunately for us and our beautiful dresses, the Canadian boys we were spending time with thought it would be fun to throw us in the water.

I ended up soaking wet twice that night.

The first time I was wearing a little black dress. After being unceremoniously tackled in the water, I trudged back up the beach to our hotel, make up running, hair deflated, feet squelching. The security guard shook his head at me as I walked past, as though I was but one of a long line of crazy foreign girls that walk past soaking wet at midnight.

I changed into a white Marilyn-esque dress and returned to the party, only to have a repeat performance in the ocean.

Stupid Canadians.

Walking past the security guard again was probably one of my more humiliating moments on this trip.

So after a night of losing our dignity and items of clothing in the ocean off Ko Samui, Mel and I made our way to Ko Phangan - the real party island.

We stayed in a place called Chill House, and the experience was not quite the delight we were hoping for, which we soon realised after bush bashing our way there. We didn't shower for three days as the shared, outside shower was broken (damn) and the one in the toilet was infested with flies and mosquitos. This is just a guess, but I'm thinking this could be due to the overflowing bucket of used toilet paper in the corner of the room. Add the unlockable door to this equation (a discovery I made on the first day when I walked in on a large American man using the toilet) and living in my own filth seemed more appealing than bathing.

And I rather enjoyed shaving my legs on the garden path with a bottle of water and moisturiser. It was rather liberating.

Our room was just as unbelievable. I had a bed full of overly-affectionate ants and saw a mutant gecko that was bigger than my hand on the wall. It was a resort slash wildlife sanctuary it seems. Apparently linen is considered unnecessary if our lack of bed sheets and curtains was anything to go by. We certainly put on a show for the people walking past when we got changed in the morning. Then we had our delightful wake up calls from the couple upstairs who insisted on trying to put a hole in the wall with their vigorous, headboard bashing, moaning antics. But I think what really set off the room was the dead pot plant in the corner...

Nothing but the best accommodation for us.

Ko Phangan is renowned for being the home of the original full moon party. Every month, thousands of people congregate on this tiny, bar lined beach to sway and sweat their way through the evening. And it's not just one night - there is a party on almost every evening leading up to the full moon. Plus the half moon party and no moon party and the 3-days-before-warm-up-to-the-full-moon party etc etc.

This island is pretty much fuelled by alcohol (and marijuana, which our island tour guide was very quick to offer as part of our tour price).

And I couldn't drink a drop.

Yes, I spent the full moon party in complete sobriety. It would appear that I've annoyed whatever gods are looking down on me and shaking their heads in disgust. Fate delivered me a nasty stomach upset that made me feel nauseous if I even thought about alcohol.

Thankfully, we met Mireille the night of the full moon party, a poor girl from Switzerland who was trying to innocently eat her dinner and watch a movie when two evil Aussie girls got their claws into her.

Ten minutes later she's offering me her bed and her wonderful, wonderful toilet, which I became intimately familiar with during the course of the evening as I ran from whatever table I was dancing on to her hotel.

The full moon party was absolutely insane. There were so many people you could hardly move, and when you could move you tripped over about fifty buckets under your feet. Being disgustingly sober, I spent the night people watching. The number of people being dragged limply home by their mates was unbelievable, not to mention the overflowing queue at the medical centre. Judging by the number of unconscious bodies strewn about the beach, it seems the night was all about drinking hard, flirting hard and falling hard.

It was a crazy night and I had an awesome time despite my alcohol celibacy, but it was certainly not a glamorous evening. And the next morning was worse. People were still partying to loud music when we got up at 11am the next day! We returned to the beach to see the 'morning after' effect, and were not disappointed. The beach was filled with buckets and straws and shoes and bodies, complimented by a delightful rotting fruit and sweat stench.

This monthly party has certainly taken its toll on this piece of paradise.

We left for Ko Tao that day for a well earned respite. Ko Tao was just beautiful. We stayed in a gorgeous hotel to make up for the last accommodation disaster and spent the first night in complete luxury. We ate a Sunday roast at the pub, then watched season two of Dexter in bed while eating chocolate brownies and cornettos.


A snorkelling trip around the island (drug-free this time) completed this wonderful part of the week, which gave us both time to recover. Me from my stomach illness and Melissa from excessive alcohol (She drinks way too much that girl. I try to tell her, but she won't listen to me...).

Next stop is Krabi and Ko Phi Phi, and then it's almost home time.

That sucks balls.

But, as Melissa so aptly described my situation - home is a temporary residence (she's actually wise when not intoxicated, though such a state is rare for her).

I think that's a concept I'll embrace.

Now I have to decide whether to go rock climbing or beach hopping tomorrow... It's a toughie.
Join TravBuddy to leave comments, meet new friends and share travel tips!
9,384 km (5,831 miles) traveled
Sponsored Links
Koh Tao
photo by: RyanCorrea