AsiaChina

High and Dry (in Hainan & Shanghai)

Hainan Travel Blog

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This journal entry is a draft and has not been published yet. Please check back later!

In the morning a flight arrived from the mainland and a swarm of tourists came buzzing out of the automatic doors, Some staired at me like I was completely alian to them, others just glanced from the corners of their eyes as if unsure about what they wanted to see. A stocky looking man appraches me with an excited child like look on his face, it appears he's impressed with the 'caligraphy' i'm currently making (all 26 letters!) we talk for a while but the langage barrier presents its futile head and I realize he can be of no help other than to sanerise my morality! i'm just not in the mood, I just want out of here. There were several western tourists coming through now and I thought about asking for help, I decided to get up and walk around the airport and see if there was anyone that looked 'helpful?'. I put my bag on a trolly, and added a fake smile to my now dreary looking face. But it was hopeless, asking, or 'begging' for help is harder than it sounds and some stupid kind of dignity stood in my way. In what seemed like no time at all the arrivals had dispersed so I decided to try the shops, i had all the time in the world so i just wondered round them for what felt like hours, trying to look like every other 'wealthy' tourist. Eventually I decide to try and by some cola with my card from a supermarket like store with towers of exotic fruit outside. The shop assistants are young and relatively friendly compared to the tour desk, i hand them the bottle of cola, with my fingers crossed behind my back. They SWIPE my card - through the machine, an old but conciderably more respectful looking thing. They don't have chip and pin here like everywhere else - the machine gives an unencouraging burp sound followed by the common peircing silence - in which, of-course,  it expected all parties to keep absolute silence while it delacred the transaction a success, or a failure. I think it cottened on to my anticipation and waited conciderably longer than usal before it began to print, I just stood there like a pelacon with my mouth wide open as the girl tour off the recept and handed it to me... 

Sauntering back over to the tour desk I force the scowling woman to deal with me again. I explain as best I can about swiping the card instead of using chip and and arange to get on the next flight to Shanghai's smaller airport, in 10 hous time, and she swipes the card. It doesn't work. 'Try again' She does as the printer waits for my heart to sink into my stumoch before churning out my reciept with a slick patronising smile on its face. I just stood and ignored the bastard. Finally, I was getting out.

After all the standard airport formalities were over, the storms began, and all the flights incurred delays. Something didnt want to let me get off of this island. I manage to get some dried noodles and follow some other passengers to a hot water tap somewhere in the departure lounge. After 48 hours of not eating they proide more than eligant sufficiency and I settle down to sleep, presumably bording a plane at some point during a dream and flying north east to Shanghai.

By the time I arrived at Shanghai airport it was early hours of the next morning. It appeared we were on the last delayed flight of the night and the security ushered everyone out, closing up the airport for the night. I tryed the cashpoint on the way out but it wasn't having any of it. I wonder around for a while trying to avoid the security and the taxi drivers who were conspiring with their metres over how best to deal with me. Back on the street again then. I begin wondering around like a confused rabbit in a medical testing facility

I stand and talk with a shadowy man in what might have been a car park, he says he knows a hotel just round the corner, but its expensive. I try it anyway and the shadowy man escorts me in to the hotel and then scuttles away. They speak perfect English there with hardly any accent and a touch of class and courtisy. I get them to swipe my card which this time works on the forth atempt, I get escorted to the elevator and the doors close behind me. I arrive on the 17th floor and open the door to a luxury suite, immaculate. I open the mini fridge, switch on the tv and losse myself In Tim Burton's 'Corpse Bride' and expensive red wine. Then i curl up like a kitten on the kingsize, silken sheeted bed and, without even time to aknowledge the non-existance of any sheep, drift off into a deep poison-apple sleep.

"BONEJANGLES
Hey! Give me a listen you corpses of cheer
Leastles of you who still got an ear
I'll tell you a story make a skeleton cry
Of our own jubiliciously lovely corpse bride
BONE BOYS
Die, die we all pass away
But don't wear a frown cuz it's really okay
And you might try 'n' hide
And you might try 'n' pray
But we all end up the remains of the day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
BONEJANGLES
Well our girl is a beauty known for miles around
When a mysterious stranger came into town
He's plenty good lookin', but down on his cash
And our poor little baby, she fell hard and fast
When her daddy said no, she just couldn't cope
So our lovers came up with a plan to elope
BONE BOYS
Die, die we all pass away
But don't wear a frown cuz it's really okay
And you might try 'n' hide
And you might try 'n' pray
But we all end up the remains of the day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
(instrumental)
BONEJANGLES
So they conjured up a plan to meet late at night
They told not a soul, kept the whole thing tight
Now her mother's wedding dress fit like a glove
You don't need much when you're really in love
Except for a few things, or so I'm told
Like the family jewls and a sachel of gold
Then next to the grave yard by the old oak tree
On a dark foggy night at a quarter to three
She was ready to go, but where was he
BONE BOYS
And then?
BONEJANGLES
She waited
BONE BOYS
And then?
BONEJANGLES
There in the shadows, was it the man?
BONE BOYS
And then?
BONEJANGLES
Het little heart beat so loud
BONEBOYS
And then?
BONEJANGLES
And then baby, everything went black"
 
In the morning I walk back over to the airport and stand stairing at the ATM, It stairs back at my pathetic intregue and laughs a sickening cold laugh that no one else seems to hear. I say nothing in reply, whats the point? its a stupid fucking machine anyway, it objectively spits out my money as i snatch it from its open mouth and then hastily retreat, never acknowledging the inteligence of a cash machine again.

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The moral(s) of the story?...luck runs out...modern technology is unreliable...learn some of the language before visiting a country....Carry food and water for emergencies...and always plan for the unexpected.....

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This journal entry is a draft and has not been published yet. Please check back later!
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