The Travel Awards!
January 14, 2007
Well I am finally back from my trek around the country and what a trip
it was! And oh the things I have seen! And here comes the awards
ceremony:
Longest drive: Across North Dakota. Now, you may be saying "wait a minute, Elizabeth, Montana is bigger than ND." Yes, it is, but ND is so straight and boring that it's irritating and annoying. Longest five hours of my life....and I can't get those back...Think of the things you could do in five hours: play a round of golf, wash a few loads of laundry, see two movies or more, get drunk and sober up...or you could drive across North Dakota.
Scariest hotel: Super 8 Motel in Fergus Falls, MN. Yes, this is the one where I was put in the handicap room. Stop laughing.
Scariest town: Fergus Falls, MN. It's only fitting that this would be the most horrifying town. It's like they're stuck back in time where sporting Confederate flags was the thing to do. I was there on a Thursday night and the only place that had a parking lot full of cars was the local Wal-Mart. It's Wal-Mart people! But nevertheless, I had nothing to do, so I joined them there! ha! Bought a pair of pants that say "TOUCHDOWN" on the ass while I was there too. That tells you what kind of place Fergus Falls is....classy.
Best drink: Cherry Limeade from Sonic. PLEASE let a Sonic come to Portland! If you don't know about Sonic, you haven't lived...believe me. I Cherry Limeade-ed myself to death while in the midwest! And now I'm going through withdrawls.
Coolest moment (driving) on the trip: shit....just one....probably driving through Home on The Range, North Dakota! Yes, like the song! "Home, home on the range...where the deer and the antelope play!" I thought that was super cool.
Best accomplishment: Seeing one of the natural world wonders...The Grand Canyon! It was amazing! Breathtaking! Incredible! All those words and more! One down, six more to go.
Best casino: The Paris hotel...hands down. No, I didn't win, but it was a beautiful hotel and casino. And they have yummy screwdrivers! I should know, I had five before noon one day! Let's just say that the first two days of Vegas were spent in a drunken stupor.
Worst place to get fuel: Anywhere in North Dakota. I'm telling you, ND sucks ass (sorry if you're from there). There's nothing there and the gas is like 3.31 a gallon! That's just the man tryin to bring you down.....
Best part about the trip: Finding out who I am as a person. I feel like I've become someone new and I'm in a different place then I was a few weeks ago. I'm happier and I really have started to let go of shit that isn't worth it to me. Man, road trips are like free therapy! Well, not quite free...cuz I got a big ass credit card bill coming to me for the gas! shiiiiiiiiiiitt....next week, I will be starting a charity called "Elizabeth needs money NOW." Feel free to send your contributions my way.
And our final award....
Best place: Portland, Oregon! Hoooray for the hometown! As much as I loved travelling all over the place and seeing all sorts of new things, there is no place like home.
Longest drive: Across North Dakota. Now, you may be saying "wait a minute, Elizabeth, Montana is bigger than ND." Yes, it is, but ND is so straight and boring that it's irritating and annoying. Longest five hours of my life....and I can't get those back...Think of the things you could do in five hours: play a round of golf, wash a few loads of laundry, see two movies or more, get drunk and sober up...or you could drive across North Dakota.
Scariest hotel: Super 8 Motel in Fergus Falls, MN. Yes, this is the one where I was put in the handicap room. Stop laughing.
Scariest town: Fergus Falls, MN. It's only fitting that this would be the most horrifying town. It's like they're stuck back in time where sporting Confederate flags was the thing to do. I was there on a Thursday night and the only place that had a parking lot full of cars was the local Wal-Mart. It's Wal-Mart people! But nevertheless, I had nothing to do, so I joined them there! ha! Bought a pair of pants that say "TOUCHDOWN" on the ass while I was there too. That tells you what kind of place Fergus Falls is....classy.
Best drink: Cherry Limeade from Sonic. PLEASE let a Sonic come to Portland! If you don't know about Sonic, you haven't lived...believe me. I Cherry Limeade-ed myself to death while in the midwest! And now I'm going through withdrawls.
Coolest moment (driving) on the trip: shit....just one....probably driving through Home on The Range, North Dakota! Yes, like the song! "Home, home on the range...where the deer and the antelope play!" I thought that was super cool.
Best accomplishment: Seeing one of the natural world wonders...The Grand Canyon! It was amazing! Breathtaking! Incredible! All those words and more! One down, six more to go.
Best casino: The Paris hotel...hands down. No, I didn't win, but it was a beautiful hotel and casino. And they have yummy screwdrivers! I should know, I had five before noon one day! Let's just say that the first two days of Vegas were spent in a drunken stupor.
Worst place to get fuel: Anywhere in North Dakota. I'm telling you, ND sucks ass (sorry if you're from there). There's nothing there and the gas is like 3.31 a gallon! That's just the man tryin to bring you down.....
Best part about the trip: Finding out who I am as a person. I feel like I've become someone new and I'm in a different place then I was a few weeks ago. I'm happier and I really have started to let go of shit that isn't worth it to me. Man, road trips are like free therapy! Well, not quite free...cuz I got a big ass credit card bill coming to me for the gas! shiiiiiiiiiiitt....next week, I will be starting a charity called "Elizabeth needs money NOW." Feel free to send your contributions my way.
And our final award....
Best place: Portland, Oregon! Hoooray for the hometown! As much as I loved travelling all over the place and seeing all sorts of new things, there is no place like home.
