London Travel Blog› entry 3 of 3 › view all entries
Under strict orders from the Generalli Bondy Guevara, I awoke early to make the most out of time in London so that I can conduct a quick recon mission before stealthly making a swift exit out of the country by 1200 hours.
First stop on the list was to survey the area around Leicester Square. Unfortunately I had misplaced my map, well I forgot to get one of the free ones from my hostel. I got lost. There was a good 30 mins when I didn't have a clue about where I was until I stumbled...sorry that should say, until I strategically stumbled across Picadilly Circus. I thought this would give me an opportunity to unleash some rabid animals on the city and creat havoc.....
I think I must have just missed the circus as there was no Big Top tent, no animals and no freaky clowns with one single tear under their left eye.
Luckily for me, Bob was on hand to help out, especially when that irrate horse tried to eat me. As everyone knows, horses are afraid of light bulbs. After this, I thought I would stop up the revolution plans and arrange a meeting with Gordon Brown down on Downing Street. Gordon doesnt do much so he was happy to have the company.
I had a very productive chat with Gordon and believe I have furthered our cause. Steps are now in motion to annex the legendary Chesterfield for the Union and give the Chesterfield Two (Bondy & Wayne) their long sought after Independence. Viva La Revolution!! It soon became apparent to me that Gordon does not have that much power so I set off in search for the real seat of power.
As everyone know, the real power of The British Empire has already been with Big Ben......
Bob tried to talk to things over with Ben but we soon realised that Ben is obviously not the most intelligent clock tower in the world so we got nowhere.
I tried to remember back to my school days and my history lessons. Before Big Ben and the Parliament took over, it was the royal family who ran things. I knew that would be my next stop. Only problem was, which way to Buckingham Palace???
I ventured back into the park. I saw some crazy girl stealth attacking flocks of ducks with her mad kung fu skills. We could use her skills when the revolution comes. Eventually I came across the Palace.
I will not bore you with the exciting details or my daring escape, the ensuing gun fight across London bridge or how I had to steal a Nazi motorbike to randomly jump over some barbed wire to reach the airport. Its really boring to tell the truth.
Lets just say that I had a great time over in London meeting my friends both new and old. I will definitely be back....I have a lot of unfinished business to do. I will be back........