It's all about what you have between your ears, baby!

Petaling Jaya Travel Blog

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People I have met lately seem to be surprised that I am single. Ok, these MEN say I’m smart, witty, funny and kindhearted, but can’t believe I’m not taken. You’re probably wondering that too huh?

If a person (be it a man or woman) has so many good qualities but isn’t attached/married to anyone, what does it mean really? Is she just fussy, high maintenance, or just plain unlucky? All I know is that I am happy being single, and I am doing just fine without a man. But I won’t say no to a hot guy that treats me right, and loves me more than I may love him, he he!

My response is always a typical one: Malaysian men are intimidated by me. How else can you explain it? I am smart; I’m funny, sarcastic, caring and compassionate. Guys love talking to me but can’t seem to see me as a potential mate. I used to wonder (and still do just a little bit) that perhaps it’s because of how I looked, that I’m big (not every man has good taste!). But then, I’ve had my fair share of admirers (you know who you are! :P).

The locals I’ve met are very much Asian, and hence, they go for the petite, Oriental chick. So do the Mat Sallehs who want to meet an ACTUAL Asian woman. As for the admirers, they only have one filthy little thought in their heads (pick the obvious!).

So what is wrong with me?? If I knew the answer to that question, I wouldn’t be writing this blog! But, an acquaintance did happen to mention that one of the reasons why I can’t be seen as anything other than ‘one of the guys’ is because I tend to act like one of the guys! Huh? That’s what I asked him. Apparently, Mr Insightful said me being smart, able to tell dirty jokes, can talk sports and the world, does anything but scream “I am woman, soft and sweet!” But isn’t that what men want??? An intelligent woman, one with wit, who also knows what he means when he curses the linesman for giving an offside when clearly it wasn’t!

Well, apparently not! I’m supposed to talk like and be a woman when speaking/chatting with a potential date/mate. How ever do I do that? Am I supposed to play the dumb blonde, so to speak? Should I be the passive party and sit back while the guy decides where to eat, what to eat and where to go to do what? “Anything is fine with me, hee hee hee!”

No way!! Impossible. I’m not saying that I want to be dominant. But I am not going to be the ‘anything goes’ girl either. Goodness, even I can’t stand it when I ask my date for suggestions on where to eat and he goes, “Oh I’m fine with whatever!”

I’m at the end of my proverbial rope! Please, someone tell me what it is that you look for in a woman that you pass on the one standing in front of you, with almost all desirable qualities. I’m still trying to figure out what NOT being an equal (and I will not play Paris Hilton, period!) means. Even so, I can’t play that game because I’d be cheating my date and myself of who I really am.

And what’s the deal with wonderful guy friends wanting to be with women who treat them half as good as their female friends do? Well, that is another topic for another time.

Ruby12 says:
I can relate to this, hehehe, there's nothing wrong with you, you just haven't met the man who can handle those good qualities that you possess. :P
Posted on: Oct 28, 2008
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Petaling Jaya
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