32 and I'm only just starting!!
Petaling Jaya Travel Blog› entry 12 of 13 › view all entries
I felt like a loser prior to turning 30 two years ago, when I looked back at my twenties and realised then that I hadn't achieved much of anything.
I was still trying to find my calling in terms of doing something I love and getting paid for it, instead moving from one field of so-called expertise to another. That's when I woke up and said to myself, that if I don't do something significant in my thirties, I'll look back in ten years - when I turn 40 - and be kicking myself for not being brave enough to do something risky or crazy. That's when I decided to go back to school (And read Law, no less!) and got my first tat, just a day after turning 30. Something else happened to me that week of my thirtieth birthday... I took risks and didn't regret them, like I had when I was in my twenties!!
I can't remember being more alive with these decisions that I had made with each passing day. I was even more comfortable in my own skin, as opposed to not being confident or comfortable at the girl that used to stare back at me in the mirror.
Today, I'm officially 32. Looking back at the last two years that had passed since I've sorta come of age, I can say that I am more emotional now that I'd ever been; I'm not as tough and not as good at holding in. I'm still, unfortunately, a very impatient individual and cannot tolerate stupidity on any kind of level! I'm also finding it a challenge to work and study at the same time, and it's not at all as romantic as some have made it out to be.
I also love to have a good time, which doesn't now include a smokey dingy club with head-banging music, but a cool hangout where I can hear my friends talk on a comfortable decibel level. And I love to be a kid again, and being with my teenage brother or best friend allows me that opportunity to laugh at cartoons or make cartoon impressions without being looked at like I was some weirdo who wasn't acting her age! :P
As far as relationships go, I know what I want and I'm deserving off. I'm also less aggressive and more girly, letting the guy chase and if he doesn't want to, then at least I know he's an idiot for losing out on a good thing like me, baby!! :P
But the most vivid memories are those of this year where I took the plunge and ventured out on my own for a holiday, something terrifying that I did it anyway!! And although the first time didn't go as well, it was a test run for the real thing... and Bali will always be in my heart for having been so good to me and so inviting. I've also never been on a vacation more than at least once a year, but I went on three this year alone! That means that I'll have to up the ante and travel more the next couple of years, so that I can look back when I'm 34 and at least say that I have a year of college left, but I had also managed to squeeze in a bunch of holidays - half of them solo - travelling to experience more of the world, at least of this side of the hemisphere.
It looks like I'm on course for a good decade, and to achieve half of my life's purpose by the time I turn 40 would be awesome, but I know that I'll still be far off the mark as life is there to be taken by the scruff of the neck and enjoyed, by golly, and I'm gonna do it!!
Here's to another 32 years at least!