give us strenght to face this test of time.

tolls, tolls and more tolls - i think we paid about 70 euros this time only for tolls in portugal. were not exactly happy about and i can feel some tensions between the group.  i dont know if there was, or was its just me.

maybe ben was so tired from driving? robbo not having enough sleep? lori wanting to go to the beach? rubs not happy with her foods? hannah wanting to get and eat vegetables or me - tensed of the whole situation?

i know that these things are shallow and petty and maybe even taken for granted, but i am fearing what i feared - cabin syndrome. were so together for a long period of time, that we need time for ourselves - being alone. it also didnt helped that we have to pay toll again and fish money from our pockets.

all of us are unusually quiet - i dont know whats happening at the back as i was admiring the great landscape beyond me! its turning more hotter and hotter as we drove south and the vegetation is becoming bushy and dry.

i kept entertaining ben, to engage him and lift his spirits while he was driving, as he was seated next to me, i feel almost ashamed of myself since i am talking nonsense.

we didnt knew that algarve was far.... fucking far.... it was still a less than 300 kms from lisbon...  we  miscalculated our routes.

at was 6pm when we finally in portimao - the gateway to the algarve beaches - then we saw that its still 50+++ kms to lagos. that is too much. too much for ben to drive.

we got to lagos at 7 pm, it was cold and windy and chilly - not really a beach weather at all.

ben parked the car in a gas station and from there we talked things over. the car is only until tomorrow at 7 pm. i tried asking pablo if its possible for an extension, but we cant because the car is rented the next day.  were not going to make it back on time. now its time for a major decision and all opinions should be voiced out. i quietly left the group and smoked cigarette in front of a gas pumping station. hahahahahahahahahahaha i didnt noticed it! i only noticed it when i put the fire out! hahahahahaahahahaha.

as the adult in the group, i never want to be bossy nor the leader. everyones opinion counts for me, as we all depend on each other. when i came back - ben wanted to know what i think because they all decided to go back - i said - it doenst matter with me, what have they all decided will be the best for all of us.

so we gas up again for the 3rd or 4th time? it was diesel so it drips faster than normal gas. lori took the map out - as i cant think anymore - that we should go up north again to save time and to save money too that we should avoid national highways and opt for secondary roads.

i was really worried for ben (sorry if i kept saying this - because i wish i could have helped him with the driving) he drove over 500 kms (from  cortegaca to lagos) for nothing.