A Porpoise-ful Moment

Inside Passage Travel Blog

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Nothing says "Good Morning!" like a dog made out of a towel

How many play-on-words can one man come up with?  After the conclusion of this journal, I am getting the guy from Guiness's Almanac of World Records on the phone.  I don't really have a clue who "the guy" is...I'll probably just ask for Guiness.  I bet he's a good place to start.

So to set the scene of this memory...I'm still on the boat.  This is a good thing since I am in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.  Without the boat, things would have been a tad bit uncomfortable.  On the contrary, things were much more comfortable than one human ever really needs them to be.  I don't know if you have had the pleasure of taking one of the lengthier cruises, but by the end, you literally believe that your shit doesn't stink and that people should show up out of the woodwork to scrape the crumbs off your tablecloth with razors while serving you your next 8 dollar beverage.

If only Flipper was a porpoise, these guys would be hanging out at Sea World.
  It is an indulgence to the extreme.  For the first few days, I found myself often saying, "Now that's just not necessary" and "Towel origami!  Sweet!" and "Thank you, but I think I'll wipe myself today."

I walk through the sliding glass doors of the floating hotel to find a gaggle of people on the deck.  People are craning their heads over the rail looking into the ship's wake.  Off in the distance, there was a group of porpoises swimming towards the boat.  Each took its turn jumping out of the water in succession.  They were quite a ways off, but at that rate they would quickly overtake us.

...I make it sound like this is a hostile invasion by a sea mammal.  Nothing of the sort, actually. Chances are that they were wonderful porpoises.  I am sure each one of them suffered from a little dolphin envy, but what porpoise doesn't, right?  Deep down, I bet they are fun loving creatures, just looking to have a good time.

A thousand of these opening simultaneously can make your ears bleed. Trust me. It's a fact. Scientists have proved it.
  You know, shoot the shit, watch the game, eat large schools of raw fish.  The norm.

Well, as we are all concentrating on the dolphins...oh, ahem...I'm sorry, porpoises, a group of four orcas pull right up next to the boat.  It was simply one of the coolest things I have ever witnessed.  Each one took turns posing for the cameras.  And trust me, there were enough of those.  The sound of a thousand velcro camera cases being ripped open at once is quite deafening.  You wouldn't think so, but it is.

As I stood there, cool Alaskan breeze in my hair, tasting the palpable salt of the water, enrapt in nature's beauty, I thought to myself, "Where's my drink?  And I think I got to hit the restroom...

...and this time I'll leave the wiping for my attendant.  It doesn't stink anyway."


VegasBrittney says:
You're simply ridiculous, I love it! I wish I could've been with you guys, but I didn't get the invite.
Posted on: Dec 06, 2006
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Nothing says Good Morning! like …
Nothing says "Good Morning!" like…
If only Flipper was a porpoise, th…
If only Flipper was a porpoise, t…
A thousand of these opening simult…
A thousand of these opening simul…
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