Juneau The Deal

Juneau Travel Blog

 › entry 2 of 3 › view all entries

So, I think I am liking this Trav buddy thing...but it is hard to reminisce about trips that were so long ago.  Therefore, I think I need to make a disclaimer that some of the facts in these journals may be a little overinflated or just pure fiction.  That's a defense mechanism of mine.  If I didn't do anything exciting, well...I just lie and say that I did.

So on with the story...

First thing I did in Juneau, Alaska was get into a bare knuckled fighting match with an aligator.  Now I know what your saying.  "How lucky of you to see an aligator when they are not indiginous to Alaska!"  And let me tell you, I agree!  But let me be honest, they flew in the aligator for the match.

Scientists think they're soooo smart with all their measurements and precise calculations
  It was billed as "The Thrilla in Jeanau, Alaska."  Pretty catchy, if I do say so myself. 

After that, (here is where the truth begins) my wife and I went on a whale watching expedition.  Now that was freakin' amazing.  The guides warned us that it was the slow season, but it was a hot spot of whale activity that day.  Whale after whale kept surfacing.  We even saw a mom and a baby whale, also known as a "mini whale" in scientific communities, playing by jumping halfway out of the water and falling back in on their backs.  I am talking some Discovery Channel type shit.  It was an outing that I will not soon forget.  I may soon embellish upon the memory, but I will not forget it.

After that, I stopped world hunger.

Soon all of these people will be fatties because of me. You're welcome, China.

All tuckered out from putting a cease to global famine, we elected to take a bus ride around the town.  Juneau was alright.  The nightlife was kind of dead, but that may be because they have 20 hours of daylight there.  I don't really know if they have 20 hours, but I know somewhere in Alaska it stays light all the time at certain periods of the year.  Remember, I am also the fella that is claiming to have fed all the starving kids in China.  Sorry to all the moms-to-be out there.  Can't use that line anymore on your stubborn kids as they sit steadfast in opposition to their plates of spinach.  Anyway, during the bus trip we had a chance to look at a huge glacier.  It was big.  Blue.  Full of ice.  I hear it is retracting.  All these scientists are making a big deal about the recessing of the glaciers and global warming and how the world is in a climatic change.

Well let me tell you something.  I stood there for a good 20 minutes and that big block of ice didn't move an inch.  And global warming.  Not for nothing, but it was cold as hell out there.  I didn't feel any warming going on in Alaska.  Science, shmi-ence!  That's what I say!

At the conclusion of the bus ride, we headed back for our cruise liner.  That's what I like about Alaska.  You really get the opportunity to rough it out in the frigid wilderness.  For example, when I returned back to my room the attendant hadn't made one of those cute elephants yet with my towels.  And then, if that wasn't enough, I had to wait more than two minutes for my first alcoholic drink.  I feel lucky to have escaped the frigid tundra with my life.

And lastly, right before I fell asleep for a quick nap as the ship was departing from port...I figured out the meaning of life.

Stay tuned for the next journal and I'll tell ya all about it.  Here's a sneak preview: it ain't all that complicated.

jakewaddell says:
It sounds like you experienced a much less well known phenomenon called 'Global Cooling'. I've been trying to advance this hypothesis in the scientific community but so far, no takers. I know it's true though, because today is colder than it was yesterday! How else can this be explained but through global cooling?
Posted on: Jun 14, 2007
SpartanAnna says:
love the entry!
Posted on: May 22, 2007
Eric says:
Dang, no world hunger, no global warming no science? My world view is shattered!
Posted on: Dec 08, 2006
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