Chocolate avoidance strategies
Oakville Travel Blog› entry 53 of 96 › view all entries
January 7th, 2009 – by: AndyBrook
I did however pass my Smart Serve course, so I am now legally allowed to dispense Alcohol in Ontario! Before I had to serve moonshine from a small speak-easy I was running in my sister’s basement. The clientele were limited in numbers as my marketing strategy was not terribly successful, owing to the fact that I had blown the advertising budget on rubber snakes*.
Upon returning from doing the exam (not the smart serve, the other one) I discovered a strange and wonderful phenomenon. I entered my room (actually I’s room as we booted her out while the family were over for Christmas.
Adding to mysterious spectacles this holiday has been the occasion of my flying sister. I never knew she could fly, her DNA must have been altered by the alpha radiation from the TV set whilst watching ‘Heroes’. We were up at My Aunt’s house in Ottawa, my cousin (J) and his wife (N) turned up unexpectedly with a Christmas gift for my Aunt (B) and Uncle (D) that had been misplaced.
With Christmas and family gatherings comes food and with food comes snacks and with snacks comes chocolate. Chocolate is one of my biggest downfalls. Chocolate will undoubtedly be my undoing (either that or my love of Ribena. However I have never heard of ‘Death by Ribena’, Ribena at least contains some vitamin C whereas chocolate appears to have a more infamous reputation). During my childhood I consumed more than a Cadbury’s factory worker’s share of chocolate and this has had some unfortunate consequences. Firstly I find it highly addictive (who doesn’t?) and secondly it gives me zits, contrary to popular scientific evidence. This has resulted in strange behaviours I can only categorise as Chocolate avoidance strategies.
Here are the results:
1. I have started eating toffee
2. I can sate my appetite briefly by inhaling the air trapped in the quality street tin.
3. Oatmeal raisin cookies have started to become interesting. Very interesting.
4. My sister gets my share of chocolate that Santa left in my Christmas stocking. Not fair.
In conclusion I think it best if I start eating chocolate again. Sorry sis.
*see my yet to be published memoirs for details of the rubber snake incident.
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