[Airport] Tales

Jacksonville Travel Blog

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Nothing but the holidays or something else I can't think of bring to the discussion fables of visits to airports. Ah, airports: limey food and overpriced soft drinks, time capsules renovated into smoke filled coffins for the coughing hipsters, people who are lost, people who work there that are lost, and screens glamored with everything from CNN's stickiest scandal to flight information that uplifts and complicates. Of course, I'd be way out of line if I didn't mention sidewalks that make me feel fast and those people there who are happy for no reason. Enough color, more picture.

1. Paris, France
I arrived to Paris from Munich last year in May. My destination was NYC. I had to go through customs 4 times, switch like 3 terminals, and be felt up by laughing security guards. Reminded me of America, but with more sexy clothing and pretentious attitudes. I felt at times wanting to rebel against the French working there, but they would of just ignored me. Did I eat cake? Nah, I just wondered why I had to have my ticket checked at least 10 times and why the bus ride to the plane was fast as if someone was chasing us. Totally bitching!

2. Atlanta, Georgia
This is a busy airport, but it's the South. Very laid back and crowded sometimes. Those two wheel speed things are catching on there. No matter when I go there is always that old lady in a wheelchair waiting for her flight and farting nonstop. Sure, old people fart. But they fart the apocalypse! I was in ATL a few weeks ago and nothing happened outisde of me buying really expensive bag of beef jerky and wondering to myself why Pizza Hut serves egg sandwiches there. Could be worse: I could of been a US Senator in a bathroom aching for a conversation. Whoa, Nelly!

3. Sacramento, California
I don't understand for the life of me why people choose to make getting through TSA and to the gate a fucking race. Where are you going, fool? Skipping the line or making statements excusing why a) you've got to much shit to take off and b) you have no idea why you don't have an ID. I like being randomly selected sometimes. My prize: I get to fly. And the old people continue to fart. Inglorious!
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